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What's the difference? - 11/4/2004 11:19:46 AM

CrossingOver2C

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Joined: 10/12/2004
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Being new to the whole idea of the BDSM Community, I have of course researched and read “a lot”!! I have talked to other about this, and there are only a few! Or, I get the crazy eye look; you know which one I mean!
But anyways I came across a comment that baffled me and I want to see if others can help me out. During a conversation that I had with other Masters, the topics jumped around a lot. The topic was a Master and his Slave vs A Married Couple. And everyone knows that there are many married couples out their enjoying the life of BDSM as part of their personal lives. And then there is the Master and Slave that will one day end their relationship and move on in life. Anyways, the comment made was “ I could never go all the way in training for the fear of her/him saying How Could You Do That To Me.” So now does that mean that he/she will never be able to experience the true training of a slave?? Will there be holdbacks because of a husband/wife relationship. Would you really be a slave or just an added pleasure to the bedroom??
I think the reason I’m confused at this is that on a much deeper level, learning who you are and what can be accomplished by being a slave it seems they would not be given the chance to thrive.

CrossingOver2C

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RE: What's the difference? - 11/4/2004 11:41:03 AM

TaurusMCMLVIII

Posts: 88
Joined: 1/20/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CrossingOver2C

Being new to the whole idea of the BDSM Community, I have of course researched and read “a lot”!! I have talked to other about this, and there are only a few! Or, I get the crazy eye look; you know which one I mean!
But anyways I came across a comment that baffled me and I want to see if others can help me out. During a conversation that I had with other Masters, the topics jumped around a lot. The topic was a Master and his Slave vs A Married Couple. And everyone knows that there are many married couples out their enjoying the life of BDSM as part of their personal lives. And then there is the Master and Slave that will one day end their relationship and move on in life. Anyways, the comment made was “ I could never go all the way in training for the fear of her/him saying How Could You Do That To Me.” So now does that mean that he/she will never be able to experience the true training of a slave?? Will there be holdbacks because of a husband/wife relationship. Would you really be a slave or just an added pleasure to the bedroom??
I think the reason I’m confused at this is that on a much deeper level, learning who you are and what can be accomplished by being a slave it seems they would not be given the chance to thrive.

CrossingOver2C

quote:

the comment made was “ I could never go all the way in training for the fear of her/him saying How Could You Do That To Me.” So now does that mean that he/she will never be able to experience the true training of a slave?? Will there be holdbacks because of a husband/wife relationship. Would you really be a slave or just an added pleasure to the bedroom??

This is one of those questions that is particularly personal. There is no right answer. And everyone will have a different opinion that depends on their orientation. Thus I can only give you my own experience. And I am aware that it will be different from most others. I am a Dominant who is married. Since I met and married my wife before I started to practice my BDSM interests, I have found that I was unable to give obtain the full, true training of her as a slave/submissive. Part of the reason was she didn't want to be (lol). But there is more to it than that. I found myself holding back. Not because she may have been reluctant but because I couldn't bare to go to that level because of the deep love and respect that I had for her. Remember this is just me. I'm sure there are others that could only go to that level because of their love and respect. Your answer can only come from within.

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RE: What's the difference? - 11/4/2004 2:00:07 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

So now does that mean that he/she will never be able to experience the true training of a slave?? Will there be holdbacks because of a husband/wife relationship. Would you really be a slave or just an added pleasure to the bedroom??

I think that being a married couple the trust would be there to go even further than just a M/s relationship. Of course there would be love. So beating someone to death should be out. The feelings should get in the way. Although in most relationships you are'nt going to beat someone to death anyway.

I know myself, I'd go out of my way more so for my husband/Master than I would just my Dom.

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RE: What's the difference? - 11/4/2004 2:14:45 PM

proudsub

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quote:

I found myself holding back. Not because she may have been reluctant but because I couldn't bare to go to that level because of the deep love and respect that I had for her.

That's our case too. Hubby is my Dom but He is very afraid of hurting me and He won't humiliate me. But i can live with that because things are so much better than they were before we became a "D/s couple".

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"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

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RE: What's the difference? - 11/4/2004 2:16:59 PM

proudsub

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Here's a similar thread:

love in D/s

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

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