RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side"

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/28/2013 4:14:34 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

Some jerk was dumb enough to ask me recently "What are you wearing?" Here's my answer:

Well, to start with, I have the pink foam curlers in my hair. I know, I know, you hardly ever see them anymore. But nothing curls my hair the way they do, so I still use them. To keep my skin moist and supple, I am wearing my avocado facial mask. Not the most attractive, but it really does the trick. Since I get cricks in my neck, I have a neck brace that I wear when I'm at home and am wearing it now. Since it is still just a tad bit chilly, I have my grey flannel granny gown on. I'm taking full advantage of being able to wear it, since it will soon heat up in DFW and I'll have to retire it for another year. I have white socks on, as I slathered my feet in petroleum jelly to keep them soft and don't want to slip when I walk. Should you have any other questions, please let me know. Of course, he didn't!

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 581

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/28/2013 5:58:29 PM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

Hilarious answer! I can see the outfit so clearly

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 582

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/29/2013 3:12:43 PM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

I might have to borrow that answer...LOL!

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

Post #: 583

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/29/2013 8:33:05 PM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

Got this today from a "saddest" looking for a masochistic slave:

"I never share my slave just like I never share my Harleys."

Kinda cute almost

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to ShaharThorne)

Post #: 584

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 4/29/2013 9:40:17 PM

DomMeinCT

Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

Got this today from a "saddest" looking for a masochistic slave:

"I never share my slave just like I never share my Harleys."

Kinda cute almost

Nothing sadder.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

Post #: 585

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/12/2013 9:55:50 PM

Duskypearls

Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline

"ill pay you 500 to burn me with a cig. i want to be tied down zipper on my pants undone and a cig put out on me. would you do it?"

< Message edited by Duskypearls -- 5/12/2013 9:56:15 PM >

(in reply to DomMeinCT)

Post #: 586

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/13/2013 11:20:45 AM

Sekspuppet

Posts: 10
Joined: 6/1/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls

"ill pay you 500 to burn me with a cig. i want to be tied down zipper on my pants undone and a cig put out on me. would you do it?"

Sure. I cash the check and wait 10 days. We meet, I truss you up as you desire, and light a cig.
I get the ashtray out of my bag, put it on your chest, put out the cig and leave. How's THAT burn?

(in reply to Duskypearls)

Post #: 587

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/13/2013 11:42:57 AM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline

It's probably a good thing I was born male, otherwise I'd have a heyday with some of the messages the ladies get. I'd be sending guys on scavenger hunts in order to 'hook up'. And don't ever take checks, cash on the barrelhead. Don't wanna leave a paper trail now...

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler

(in reply to Sekspuppet)

Post #: 588

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/13/2013 1:11:55 PM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

Had the cig burn guy one day...quick block and delete.

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to MasterCaneman)

Post #: 589

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/14/2013 7:51:11 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

Hot off the presses...

Are you still not looking? It shows that we live very close...so maybe I can be your little slave.

Yeah, we live close all right, but a teenager would not be my cup of tea, even if I were looking.

(in reply to ShaharThorne)

Post #: 590

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/18/2013 8:43:01 AM

SinFix

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

You're 40...so your body is already significantly worn and used...not much more to do but take what your body has left to give, complete the destruction of your mind, and spend the rest of your life humiliating and making fun of you for the useless, worn out piece of meat you've become...

Got that little gem in my box today..

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 591

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/18/2013 9:47:18 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I keep getting:

"you have been here a long time, why hasn't someone snatched you up?"

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

(in reply to SinFix)

Post #: 592

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/25/2013 6:23:04 AM

MissBlueangel

Posts: 147
Joined: 6/28/2012
Status: offline

Just been messaged by an 18 year old girl who wants us to use and abuse her ...then cook her alive and eat her.
For real, she says.
Jeez that troubles me greatly

_____________________________

Its only when you make me suffer that I feel safe and secure.
Pauline Reage
Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would chose pain
The Wild Palms by William Faulkner

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 593

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/25/2013 12:37:27 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

Just got this one:

I am seeking to become a busty shemale strip dancer Full tits, hormones, implants...working for you ...earning for you... Can you help? My skype is
[deleted to protect the cluless] and my Yahoo ID is [deleted to protect the clueless]

Oh yeah. that's my goal in life...to have a stripper working for me...NOT!

(in reply to MissBlueangel)

Post #: 594

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/25/2013 6:54:06 PM

Duskypearls

Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline

notice to all sexy ladies ************************ the new york - new jersey area suffering from a major shortage of sexy ladies you can help the problem by moving

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 595

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 5/27/2013 5:19:51 PM

TallullahHk

Posts: 572
Joined: 8/20/2012
Status: offline

This little beauty came in from a domme that I've never spoken to. I'm curious about what business I'm about to lose since, well, I don't have business to lose

you will soon find out how much business your about to lose. you will be begging for food from your mommy and looking for a place that will take you in. you are about to find out how strong I am and what a weakling yyou are

(in reply to Duskypearls)

Post #: 596

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/8/2013 9:32:33 PM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

This came from a man who messaged me wanting to chat with me because I'm older than him (oh joy); I looked at his profile and it was empty except to say he's a switch. I responded to his message with my polite generic "looked at your profile and don't believe we'd be a match" response. He says why? my profile is empty? I told him I am not interested in men willing to sub. His answer:

I can assure you I'm 100% dominant.

Alice fell down the rabbit hole.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to TallullahHk)

Post #: 597

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/9/2013 5:49:02 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

Latest gem:

Hello I want to be a slave to a dominating woman i will do any thang you want i love being tied up

Anything I want? How about some punctuation, LOL.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

Post #: 598

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/10/2013 3:25:20 PM

theshytype

Posts: 1600
Status: offline

Got this wonderful one today:

"From My perspective I will be interested in inspecting the potential property. Also interested in knowing what ties it currently has, it's financial situation including any debts and who will be missing it if it were to completely disappear from society."

Then he sent:

"Sent to the wrong person sorrt"

Awww. Bummer.
And he's probably not as sorry as I am for having read it and the person it's intended for.

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 599

RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 6/10/2013 3:31:25 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

Latest gem:

Hello I want to be a slave to a dominating woman i will do any thang you want i love being tied up

Anything I want? How about some punctuation, LOL.

The reply would be, "What I want is for you to rewrite this into a proper sentence".

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 6/10/2013 3:36:19 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)

Post #: 600

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