RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side"

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/9/2014 2:29:33 AM

sexyred1

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I just got a message from a sub male asking if for 500 I would tie him up naked, put him in my trunk and abduct him.

I told him I don't even get out bed for less than 10,000.😘

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/9/2014 4:43:47 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I just got a message from a sub male asking if for 500 I would tie him up naked, put him in my trunk and abduct him.

I told him I don't even get out bed for less than 10,000.😘

$500 bucks for abduction
$10,000 to get out of bed and perform abduction
$2,000 for laundry because the are gonna' shit them selves repeated when they see what tortures you have in store for them
$10,000 to get out of bed and perform tortures after abduction
$8,000 for catering to feed the staff and prisoner during the period of incarceration
$10,000 per meal to get out of bed and bring food from catering truck to prisoner in dungeon

... I can see that being a reasonable fee schedule.

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/9/2014 12:32:27 PM

MissToYouRedux

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I just got a message from a sub male asking if for 500 I would tie him up naked, put him in my trunk and abduct him.

Now I don't feel special anymore.

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/9/2014 2:13:18 PM

MissToYouRedux

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And from a message I just got today, the going rate for a beheading is $20,000.00.

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/9/2014 7:09:10 PM

sexyred1

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It must be a full moon.

I got another note from a 27 year old asking me what my likes and dislikes are.

I never answered as I won't reply to laundry list questions.

That was on Friday.

He just writes back "ok, I see being civil didn't work. From this moment forth you call me Sir and the safeword is Red, for now."

I replied "On the contrary, civil works as does being interested in a woman beyond your fetish list. And the safeword is, forever, not interested."

I am counting down till he writes back saying I am either not a sub or a fat bitch.

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/23/2014 12:41:02 AM

pleasesir88

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I am going to leave this amazing gem here.

"i'm looking for total domination of ur life....what u'll wear (when u need to), what u eat, ur job, ur breeding, i'll need ur address/full name, social security number, bank account number, everything eventually....as my slave, u'll be caned, spanked, whipped, tortured, abused,branded, tattooed, u'll eat shit, drink piss, sell urself, do animals, ur daughter,sleep in a cage, do porn movies, model for magazines/websites and i'll take ur money...is that what u want?"

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/23/2014 1:24:12 AM

DaNewAgeViking

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasesir88

I am going to leave this amazing gem here.

"i'm looking for total domination of ur life....what u'll wear (when u need to), what u eat, ur job, ur breeding, i'll need ur address/full name, social security number, bank account number, everything eventually....as my slave, u'll be caned, spanked, whipped, tortured, abused,branded, tattooed, u'll eat shit, drink piss, sell urself, do animals, ur daughter,sleep in a cage, do porn movies, model for magazines/websites and i'll take ur money...is that what u want?"

HOW could you pass up a deal like that?

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/23/2014 2:27:17 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

I am counting down till he writes back saying I am either not a sub or a fat bitch.

He might write back to point out that 'not interested' is two safewords, not one. Just saying. ;-)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/23/2014 2:39:45 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasesir88

I am going to leave this amazing gem here.

"i'm looking for total domination of ur life....what u'll wear (when u need to), what u eat, ur job, ur breeding, i'll need ur address/full name, social security number, bank account number, everything eventually....as my slave, u'll be caned, spanked, whipped, tortured, abused,branded, tattooed, u'll eat shit, drink piss, sell urself, do animals, ur daughter,sleep in a cage, do porn movies, model for magazines/websites and i'll take ur money...is that what u want?"

I love his approach. Next time I session with someone, I'll do that. I'll tie her up, spank her, flog her, ship her, clamp her nipples, gag her, and later do the pre-scene negotiations to see what she might want.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/23/2014 3:03:25 AM

ydd

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From: a special place of wine and music
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Steven....you are an evil evil man!

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/23/2014 7:41:11 AM

pleasesir88

Posts: 17
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(I don't know why my boobs are smooshed and upside down.)

There are so many things I am NOT interested in that he's mentioned, but what really sticks with me is his lack of grammar and capitalization. Why would I trust a guy with my social security number and bank account who can't even bother to end a sentence or use the shift-key?!

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/23/2014 7:47:23 AM

ExiledTyrant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasesir88

(I don't know why my boobs are smooshed and upside down.)

Wot da phuq? I thought that was some kinda cool rendition of J.R.R. Tolkien's the "two towers", I had no idea that was wank fodder

Okay, prepare to call Guinness BOWR, I am going to attempt one handed typing while standing on my head. Drum roll please!

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To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/23/2014 8:09:10 AM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I just got a message from a sub male asking if for 500 I would tie him up naked, put him in my trunk and abduct him.

I told him I don't even get out bed for less than 10,000.😘

$500 bucks for abduction
$10,000 to get out of bed and perform abduction
$2,000 for laundry because the are gonna' shit them selves repeated when they see what tortures you have in store for them
$10,000 to get out of bed and perform tortures after abduction
$8,000 for catering to feed the staff and prisoner during the period of incarceration
$10,000 per meal to get out of bed and bring food from catering truck to prisoner in dungeon

... I can see that being a reasonable fee schedule.

Well at those rates, I might apply for the job!

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“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/23/2014 8:10:46 AM

smileforme50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissToYouRedux

And from a message I just got today, the going rate for a beheading is $20,000.00.

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“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/23/2014 8:22:32 AM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pleasesir88

(I don't know why my boobs are smooshed and upside down.)

There are so many things I am NOT interested in that he's mentioned, but what really sticks with me is his lack of grammar and capitalization. Why would I trust a guy with my social security number and bank account who can't even bother to end a sentence or use the shift-key?!

That's what stuck with you?

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/23/2014 8:31:06 AM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
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From: P'burgh PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I just got a message from a sub male asking if for 500 I would tie him up naked, put him in my trunk and abduct him.

I told him I don't even get out bed for less than 10,000.😘

Hmmm Me too. With an added Golden shower request. Evidently that was worth an extra 5 Benjamins.

The oddest one in almost 10 years here is the guy that wanted to sign over his property, kept for 6 months in a cage in order to be "fattened up", and then roasted like a suckling pig on a spit (alive mind you) and consumed by a group of Dommes at a party.

Uhhhhh...Not No; but Hell No!

Every New Years he inquires whether I would be willing to do so.

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She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/23/2014 8:33:02 AM

sexyred1

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As my Mom always says, there is a cover for every pot.

Unless you want to be a roast suckling pig. Yikes.

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/23/2014 8:36:32 AM

SDFemDom4cuck

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I will say I'm baffled at what kind of wine one would pair with Long Pig??

A Full bodied Merlot?

Anybody????

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Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/23/2014 8:38:46 AM

sexyred1

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Merlot would work.

It would have to be red though.

A Chardonnay would not work with sub on a spit.

Any sommelier would tell you that.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 11/23/2014 8:39:24 AM >

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RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" - 11/23/2014 8:41:39 AM

ExiledTyrant

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From: Exiled
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Chaucer's Mead FTW.

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To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

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