RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (Full Version)

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smileforme50 -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/28/2015 6:52:30 AM)

So....my profile here and on FL both say that I started exploring this lifestyle as a bottom....just playing and having fun. But now I have grown and moved on and I am now hoping to find a Master. I no longer find simply playing around with friends very satisfying anymore, and now I'm looking for more than just play. With that in mind....this was an exchange I had on FL yesterday....

Hi!
Would be interested in having a great massage, an enema, and a light spanking...maybe not all at the same time but then....lol


(Not that it mattered, but at first I wasn't sure if he was asking me if I would be interested in doing these things to him, or TELLING me that he was interested in doing them to me. But his profile said he was a Top....so I made the more likely assumption... And I responded...)

Nice to meet you. I'm always interested in making new friends, but I have to tell you that right now I am not looking for another play partner.

And his response....

thanks for responding. I was not suggesting you become my play partner. I meant for you to take advantage of my offer just his one time.


HEAVY SIGH OF FRUSTRATION




GoddessManko -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/28/2015 9:22:52 AM)

LOL smileforme50. Mine today is about the same. *While eating brunch* Pretty funny because clearly I was joking and he'll probably enthusiastically make an angry post about findommes (or someone like him).
good thing you're hot sunshine: how are you, Goddess? this is ---- from collarspace
manko: hallo naked boy, just got done cooking brunch
manko: now I'm gonna lay here and relax for a bit
good thing you're hot sunshine: nice
manko: ok
good thing you're hot sunshine: i would love to serve you
manko: that's the word
manko: ok, why are you grounded at your current location?
manko: and any plans today? aside from fapping in front of your laptop I mean
good thing you're hot sunshine: i have no plans today.. just fapping for you
manko: ok, that'll be a thousand dollar deposit
manko: made out to goddess manko, k thanks
good thing you're hot sunshine has signed out. (3/28/2015)




tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/28/2015 6:11:29 PM)

My first one in ages::

Him: is this beauty owned? (Shows he looked at my profile, silly me assumes he READ it)

Me: yes I am. I see you looked at my profile. If you had bothered reading the first few lines, you would have seen I was. Guess you can't read! Oh well....


Waiting to see if 1) He replies 1a) I really pissed him off 1b) He's got a sense of humor.




DesFIP -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/28/2015 7:09:38 PM)

I think you'll be waiting a long time for him to exhibit a sense of humor. Hope you have a good book or ten to while away the time!




tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/28/2015 7:17:32 PM)

I have over 1,500 books between my tablet and my laptop. Good thing I love reading. I'm just itchin for a good sparring match with a moron. I get less than a msg a month. I miss it!!!! [:)]




tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/29/2015 7:41:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I think you'll be waiting a long time for him to exhibit a sense of humor. Hope you have a good book or ten to while away the time!

Well, he contacted me. Wanted to know what the Hell I was doing there then. Not so politely this time, I let him know it was for the boards and the friends I had made. Mediocrity thy name is douchecanoe when all that needs to be read is the 1st 2 paragraphs, a whole 3 sentences. Bejeebus!!!! [8|]




GoddessManko -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (3/31/2015 2:42:57 PM)

Male Dominant: we should be friends.
Me: sure, I'm always open to friends!
*Few moments after brief exchange*
Male Dominant: I think we're incompatible.
Me: No shit sherlock. [8D]




DaddySatyr -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/6/2015 7:47:02 AM)

It's been a while since I've had one that was truly interesting (a bit different than the typical mail troll):

quote:



Well, well, well ... Let's see:

Hello Dom / Master , I am glad i am able to hear from you,it's not really late but getting late. because in YOUR MESSAGE, i can really see you are interested in me.

I never messaged you and you don't even have a visible profile so how could I be interested in you, you tit!

i am a 24/7 submissive slave. i can serve short term and likewise long term. Well, my names are [Mod edit]...i am 29years, 6''2ft tall,i think i weight about 32kg now. i like pain and instructions. i like honesty and i hate lies and cheating am ready to serve you to the fullest,ready to fulfill your wishes. ready to wear collars,handcuffs and foot to worship you. I am ready to obey you all my life. i am a devoted slave and a real slave sincerely. I am very pleased to succumb by all your commands because. i,m a well submissive slave who's highly experienced in BDSM. i don't have limits other than,electric shock and blood splinting WHICH MAY LEAD TO DEATH. i have been taught and trained well in almost all aspects of the BDSM but i wish to extend my training,i want some dominant/submissive masters to teach me more about BDSM 'cos i believe i still have lots to learn. I was trained by a Master / Mistress here in a couple as slavery...I think that all about me for now..Hope to hear back from you soon.. You can email me or add me on Yahoo Messenger : [Mod removed another members email]

Holy wall-o-text, Batman!

I'm going to need to break this down:

i like honesty and i hate lies and cheating am ready to serve you to the fullest,ready to fulfill your wishes.

You mean like the lie of saying you're from Houston but your message reading like a typical message from someone from Ghana ("I weight about 32kg ...")?

ready to wear collars,handcuffs and foot to worship you.

Good 'cause I hate it when wenches forget to wear their feet!

I have no intention of messaging you through e-mail like Yahoo so, please don't waste your time, waiting.



Peace,



Michael







Lucylastic -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/15/2015 12:00:50 AM)

I know im female which often equates to some doods that all females are submissive, but I DO have a domme profile....got this lil treasure today

I'm looking for something mature and proffesional I need a BJ on a regular basis I will make it worth your time Would you be interested?
My response was
A) I am not a something....
B) I am mature(age wise at least....growing UP isnt mandatory.)
C) Professional....oh that s a whole barrel of monkeys on its own, Yes and No
D) What makes you think I would want to give a blow job to a total stranger from the interwebs. Or are you just fishing for any old cocksucker?????
E) Do you just like getting blow jobs from dommes? is this a challenge to your domliness???? It really is not, Ive been sucking cock since ....well a LONG fucking time. it is not a submissive trait
F) There's nothing you could do to make it worth my time. Unless it was for me to teach you how to give yourself a blow job.
Now I realise that I could just have said no, bugger off
But having just read the cluster fuck in the findom topic, I thought I would share.




tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/15/2015 11:52:46 PM)

Lucy, men can give themselves blowjobs. They must be VERY flexible, have a longer than average appendage (?) AND be willing to suffer a stroke. At least that's what sent me rolling on the floor, tears of laughter, while trying to explain it to my best friend, over the phone, 400 miles away. [sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]

It really is the funniest thing to see, I swear.




JVoV -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/16/2015 12:33:39 AM)

What does it mean if someone sends a message, but there isn't a profile that goes along with it?




stef -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/16/2015 1:28:41 AM)

It means they have their profile hidden or they were bad and their profile was "hidden" for them.




JVoV -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/16/2015 1:34:07 AM)

Thanks. Just got a 'Pardon me' from a creepy name with hidden profile.




Lucylastic -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/16/2015 5:15:38 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear

Lucy, men can give themselves blowjobs. They must be VERY flexible, have a longer than average appendage (?) AND be willing to suffer a stroke. At least that's what sent me rolling on the floor, tears of laughter, while trying to explain it to my best friend, over the phone, 400 miles away. [sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]

It really is the funniest thing to see, I swear.

yes:) its even better when they arent flexible and short appendage...restraints have to be carefully manipulated, im glad it gave you tears:) it does me occasionally:) ok more than occasionally

[:D][:D]




StillCeleste -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/16/2015 1:15:19 PM)

This from a 60 year old man over a matter of hours:
"Everything about you is perfection love to have a wife such as u "

12 minutes later –
A LONG DISTANT HUG AND A KISS TO YOU SUNSHINE

20 minutes later –
when I grow up I would love to find a woman such yourself to marry and live the rest of my life with..now im going to close my eyes and dream of my angel who might closely look like you

2 hours later –
the bluest eyes of texas are shining on me tonight ......as the song goes (Just a note here, I'm in Kansas and my eyes are gray.)

1 hour, 37 minutes later –
before I went to bed I had to see your piercing eyes a smoothing smile to ease my aloneness and dream of someone like u




mnottertail -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/16/2015 1:17:57 PM)

I.....................................


am a salamander.




kallisto -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/18/2015 5:17:07 PM)

Yep .. got this one a few minutes ago.

"Question if you where to take a guy and stake him out on the ground in Oklahoma for 3 hrs with honey on him what would happen to him?"


I wonder why he asked me about the ground in Oklahoma ... sigh .... I live in Georgia. If only he had asked about Georgia I could have answered him.


smh ....





Delilya -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/19/2015 6:35:18 PM)

Bug man is back: i have a congo cage for safty its wire cage so the mosquitoes and bitting bugs can get in just put stuff in the cage to makke it uncomfortbal and mabe put stuff in to make me itch

next one: if just one of you dome would fucking show up i would be over this fetish but you all are so full of shit

grand finale: see what i mean your all talk. you just another fake dom wannabe

Ok Ladies, someone has to bite the bullet and help this poor soul rid himself of his fetish. Any takers? Of course he deleted that account, so you'll have to wait for the next one. Sorry.




FelineRanger -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/19/2015 7:58:32 PM)

I'm jealous because I never get anything remotely so entertaining. I just never get answers to the emails I send [whine]'cause all them subbies is fakes[/whine]. WAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!




MysticFireTopaz -> RE: Funny Messages from the "Other Side" (4/19/2015 9:43:10 PM)

I finally got the one from the "mosquito" guy:

Ill pay you 800 dollars to take me out were the mosquitoes are the worst and tie me up with no pants on and leave me over night

My reply

You might want to rethink sending that offer to people in my area. This is West Nile virus country and getting intentionally bit by mosquitos around here is not a very good idea.




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