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formal "dom"ucation - 11/4/2004 8:56:51 PM

newflowers

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I was reading and found this site referenced elsewhere. Have any here participated in these sorts for formal learning seminars and events to refine your scene/play/"master" skills?

http://www.sm-arts.com./mens-intensive.htm - this [particular link is to The Citadel in San Francisco but certainly there are other places as well that offer training.

Would you? Why or why not?

Just curious,
newflowers
(who has not had a cigarette is 13 3/4 days - but I'm not saying the "q" word)

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RE: formal "dom"ucation - 11/4/2004 11:31:04 PM

Lordandmaster

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I've found seminars and events like that useful sometimes when the issue is a specific skill: how to do electrical play without electrocuting someone or blowing a fuse; how to wield a single-tail; stuff like that.

But they can't teach you how to be a dom. I believe that's inborn. Doms and dommes discover it in themselves and spend the rest of their lives learning about it.

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RE: formal "dom"ucation - 11/5/2004 6:16:13 AM

MrThorns

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I am a member of the Arizona Power Exchange in Phoenix. One of the great things about the organization is the amount of time dedicated to the education of the community. Every Monday, we have a meeting and have a speaker/demonstration on a particular topic. Topics can cover a huge variety of topics that deal with technique or relationship issues. Every other week, we have either a SMU (S&M University) for more advanced players or a SMCC (S&M Community College) that is geared for beginners.

These classes are opportunities to have hands on training to develop individual skills. We also have a Dom roundtable and a submissive forum twice a month. This is an opportunity to speak with people on your side of the power exchange to discuss issues that may occur within your relationships.

Finally, once a month, we have an APEX Academy. This Academy takes place over the weekend and is available to all sides of the power spectrum. It is modeled after the Butchmans Academy in Tuscon which is operated by Master Steve Sampson. This academy teaches you more about "How to be a Master" or "How to be a slave" in that it teaches some aspects of high protocol and the how tos of dealing with issues within the relationship. Somehow, we still find time to conduct our play parties every weekend.

I have attended most of the events as well as sought instruction from other dominants in my area. The education I have received through APEX events and private parties have been invaluable to me.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

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RE: formal "dom"ucation - 11/6/2004 7:12:27 AM

masterLon3446

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I must agree with Lordandmaster and Mrthorns, they have some very good advise. But a club like what you have shown with the link, I feel is just a way to make maney from a novice Dom. There is no quick and easy way to learn anything of this lifestyle for either the sub/slave nor the dom/me. Another way perhaps to help one on a path to learning is a mentor, he/she can help in many ways...have a very good day...

MasterLon

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RE: formal "dom"ucation - 11/6/2004 11:44:00 AM

newflowers

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I've no doubt that the link is a money making enterprise - it advertises itself a such. It seems a fine and creative way to make a living.

I am well aware that learning anything is not easy, but then, nothing worth having - from tangible goods to intangible knowledge - is easy.

I would certainly be more comfortable with a partner who has had some form of training with tools and toys that can cause potential damage.

I think it is easy to say "find a mentor." There are numerous posts here and elsewhere recommending that those new to BDSM do so. If one is a novice, one is not likely to know where to find such a person. For those who are capable of mentoring (and reading here and elsewhere I think there are a few), how many actually have the time and inclination to do so? For all of the profiles that list electrical play and single tail whips as "specialities, I have to wonder how many of those actually have had lessons and practice. When people advertise about being in a cage for long periods of time or engaging in extreme bondage, I do wonder how many have studied the psychilogical and physiological effects of such activities. Knowing the mental and physical implications of BDSM activities is equally important as having the proper technique.

Having stumbled blindly for years and falling into my past D/s relationship by accident, before I began this search, I spent quite a bit of time with a mentor. I found him quite by accident- he gave assignments and I read and studied. We discussed the information and how it was applicable to me and to what I wanted. I was very fortunte to find someone with the teaching skills and knowledge to teach me. I have had any number of offers to be "trained" and "mentored" (please insert salacious wink and licivious leer). I was very lucky the first time but it took a great deal of time - his and mine. Our relationship was that of teacher and student. Now I am part of a submissive women's group and we learn from each other in addition to providing support and becoming friends.

There is so much knowledge that is needed to nagavigate my own personal submissive nature and add in a relationship and another person and any children or other family nearby - these can all build a lot of pressure and stress. Learning about yourself is a never ending process add in the above - it seems that groups like Thorns and my women's group, as well as businesses like the one in the link are very necessary.

Having spent time learning about me, I know that there is tons of information about submissives and slaves and those willing to help you learn without using the teaching as an excuse to have sex and play.

Where do dominants and masters find the information they need to learn?

newflowers

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RE: formal "dom"ucation - 11/6/2004 1:31:51 PM

Nvernilla

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Hey newflowers congrats on 13 and 3/4 days stick with it! I was someone who thought I'd never be able to q but this june I will make the 10 yr mark.............

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RE: formal "dom"ucation - 11/6/2004 4:28:03 PM

RogueDom

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I very much agree with this sentiment Dom nature is inborn but that doesnt mean you cant learn a lot on the way too.

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RE: formal "dom"ucation - 11/6/2004 9:14:48 PM

newflowers

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I agree wholeheartedly. I am submissive - it is part of who I am, but that does not mean I do not have much to learn about myself and the way my nature impacts my life. I like reading well written information by dominants and masters - it is interesting and useful for me to know how the "other half" thinks.

Nver - thanks - I had a close call today - housework always makes me want to smoke and I was working at the g-mas cleaning as a present for her 75th birthday. But, I made it one more day - I'm pretty stoked.

newflowers

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RE: formal "dom"ucation - 11/6/2004 11:31:41 PM

Suleiman

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I did back when I was an active member of the local community, but that was almost a decade ago. Actually, several of the tops I dated as a newbie taught these seminars, which was great for me, since I could attend class and then go home with them and get some follow up practice and training.

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Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

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RE: formal "dom"ucation - 11/8/2004 2:15:03 PM

Kinkypupper

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You either have it or do not have it.
Yet there are many subtle things that a "classroom" environment would be great for.
For example the Proper/safe way for a caning, Wax play, Electrical play and items like that.

Knowledge is power the more knowledge one has the more and safer power they can wield if they wish to.

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

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RE: formal "dom"ucation - 11/8/2004 4:13:23 PM

Nvernilla

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This thread seems vaguly familiar...is it just me ? Mykal

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