Intro Speach for my partiner

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Intro Speach for my partiner - 10/30/2012 2:26:32 AM

odd0bob0tie0up

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I'm looking to express my Bondage interest to my partner.
truth be told i'm interested into a lot lot more, but i want her know at east i have a deeper kinky/fetish side

we have played a lil bit with some cheapy bed restraints, and I've told her I'm into it, she know it turns me on.
but i don't think she has respect for how much. i have lots of good regular sex with her playful at times, so maybe she think i'm entirely satisfied

my question is probably in 2 parts:
how far do i ask her to go with me the 1st time. as my interests include restraint and being restrained over time.
is there anyone who was in a similar position, what did you ask for come the first time.

or

what do you guys reckon would be a good first run

additional : i've never really pushed the issue as i think its a selfish act to ask for such a one sided thing as she doesn't get any enjoyment out of it

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RE: Intro Speach for my partiner - 10/30/2012 2:46:51 AM

DarkSteven

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1. Are you wanting her to tie you up, or wanting to tie her up?
2. Go as slowly as possible. She needs to know that this makes you happy, and if she gets good sex afterward, there's something in it for her. Your goal is not to get everything you want right away - it's to get her comfortable with the idea of bondage. So just tie or get tied, and have nothing bad happen.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Intro Speach for my partiner - 10/30/2012 2:51:23 AM

odd0bob0tie0up

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

1. Are you wanting her to tie you up, or wanting to tie her up?
2. Go as slowly as possible. She needs to know that this makes you happy, and if she gets good sex afterward, there's something in it for her. Your goal is not to get everything you want right away - it's to get her comfortable with the idea of bondage. So just tie or get tied, and have nothing bad happen.

i want her to tie me up, maybe leave me a little while at first.
i think she might need to know that i don't need to orgasm in bondage like you say later. i forget she doesn't think that way

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: Intro Speach for my partiner - 10/30/2012 3:03:58 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: odd0bob0tie0up

i want her to tie me up, maybe leave me a little while at first.
i think she might need to know that i don't need to orgasm in bondage like you say later. i forget she doesn't think that way

Nope. You're not quite getting it. Do not even THINK of her leaving you alone. That may fuel your fantasies, but your goal is NOT to fulfill them as quickly as possible - it's to get her to dabble and keep her comfortable. That means moving slowly. AND don't forget to reward her with good sex afterward.

If she leaves you alone:

1. She will feel like you're kicking her out at an intimate moment.
2. She may fear for your safety, bound and helpless (and she will not have faith that her amateur attempts are safe).
3. She will feel that you're solely concerned with getting yourself off, and that she has no place in your bondage fantasy.

Make this an intimate moment as much as you can. Make her feel close to you when you try something new.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to odd0bob0tie0up)

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RE: Intro Speach for my partiner - 10/30/2012 3:27:56 AM

odd0bob0tie0up

Posts: 45
Joined: 3/27/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Nope. You're not quite getting it. Do not even THINK of her leaving you alone. That may fuel your fantasies, but your goal is NOT to fulfill them as quickly as possible - it's to get her to dabble and keep her comfortable. That means moving slowly. AND don't forget to reward her with good sex afterward.

If she leaves you alone:

1. She will feel like you're kicking her out at an intimate moment.
2. She may fear for your safety, bound and helpless (and she will not have faith that her amateur attempts are safe).
3. She will feel that you're solely concerned with getting yourself off, and that she has no place in your bondage fantasy.

Make this an intimate moment as much as you can. Make her feel close to you when you try something new.

thats the kinda clarity i need, ty for taking the time to write it, i have a good idea of what i'm going to ask her to do
now to work up the nerv to ask, if i may sift your brain for a few more moments is would there a manner of asking which doesn't sound perverted

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: Intro Speach for my partiner - 10/30/2012 5:26:01 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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Dark Steven's advice is spot on about her not leaving you. Once she's comfortable with that, you could always progress to 'I sometimes think of being blindfolded so I can't see where you are'.

Just say 'I'm a bit worried about telling you this but I have a fantasy I'd like to share with you. Remember when we experimented with those restraints? That was really exciting for me, I wonder if we could explore it some more'. And encourage her to share fantasies and react positively to them and try them out too. It might turn out she also wants a go at being tied up. Or maybe she wants to have whipped cream licked off her nipples. Or to go camping and have sex in isolated woodlands. If you make it about both of you exploring each other's fantasies, everyone wins.

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Upon the hours and times of your desire?

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RE: Intro Speach for my partiner - 10/30/2012 5:55:33 AM

SailingBum

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Im the damn the torpedoes full speed ahead. I tell them exactly what Im looking for sooner rather than later. My logic is I want to know now rather than find out 6 months down the road and then have to leave the relationship.

BadOne

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RE: Intro Speach for my partiner - 10/30/2012 6:40:07 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

And encourage her to share fantasies and react positively to them and try them out too.

Absolutely!

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

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RE: Intro Speach for my partiner - 10/30/2012 12:57:18 PM

odd0bob0tie0up

Posts: 45
Joined: 3/27/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

Dark Steven's advice is spot on about her not leaving you. Once she's comfortable with that, you could always progress to 'I sometimes think of being blindfolded so I can't see where you are'.

Just say 'I'm a bit worried about telling you this but I have a fantasy I'd like to share with you. Remember when we experimented with those restraints? That was really exciting for me, I wonder if we could explore it some more'. And encourage her to share fantasies and react positively to them and try them out too. It might turn out she also wants a go at being tied up. Or maybe she wants to have whipped cream licked off her nipples. Or to go camping and have sex in isolated woodlands. If you make it about both of you exploring each other's fantasies, everyone wins.

The job is done, i managed a more garbled nervous version of the above, all i got was an "ok lets do it" no to play baby steps

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Im the damn the torpedoes full speed ahead. I tell them exactly what Im looking for sooner rather than later. My logic is I want to know now rather than find out 6 months down the road and then have to leave the relationship.

BadOne

while i can respects the direct approach, she is not as kinky as i am for what ever reasons, and she is the girls of my dreams i'd rather not scare her off too suddenly

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

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RE: Intro Speach for my partiner - 10/30/2012 4:32:04 PM

SailingBum

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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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Whatever works

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to odd0bob0tie0up)

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Post #: 10