Really sad Dom

Really sad Dom (Full Version)

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confidentmaster -> Really sad Dom (6/15/2006 4:38:07 AM)
Hi all, I know it sounds pathetic and most "un-dom like" but I am on a real downer. I have replied to a few posts on this site and shared lots about myself and feelings but eventually get to the show you photos stage. Now I am no oil painting but I never saw myself as hideous, so why does every sub woman break off contact when they see a photo. I am generally confident and self assured but my experience so far is that subs seem to be of the opinion that Dom's don't have feelings like everyone else. Any if you like, have a look at my profile and let me know any suggestions. Please note that the obvious one of posting a photo on the profile is not an option due to the relatively small population where I live. cheers CM

sabswife -> RE: Really sad Dom (6/15/2006 4:59:56 AM)
well -- i know its probably not much comfort, but if someone broke off contact because of a photograph, it wasn't meant to be in the first place. don't assume its the photo tho, it could have just been a cooincidence, or something else that cooincided with the exchange of the photos. maybe you have simply been talking to players, again i don't know enough about the sitation to know what went down exactly. when you meet the right person -- for me -- it doesn't matter what they look like. my Dom could have been purple with 7 eyes and i don't think i could have been put off (although i can't say this for 100% because there was a definate instant attraction when i did see His photo)-- but i was already in love with Him before i saw Him -- i'm sure many skeptics will read that and roll their eyes, but its the truth. maybe you should start exchanging photos earlier on-- since you feel this is the case, then you don't end up baring your soul and wasting your time?

MrrPete -> RE: Really sad Dom (6/15/2006 5:30:20 AM)
At least you get a reply or 2. I don't even get replies and I don't think its my picture. As I read profiles there are very few femsubs looking for a Dom my age even if they are over 55.

CrappyDom -> RE: Really sad Dom (6/15/2006 5:35:23 AM)
A good picture is worth a lot, there are many here who ONLY contacted me after I posted a picture. Of course all profess to love my writing but didn't contact me when I was just writing. Many would probably attack men for being hung up on finding attractive women too. I have no idea why they cut off contact, it could be that after a couple of emails they find something they don't like and it isn't actually the picture that does it. Most here aren't worth bothering with, there are very certainly some genuine gems, but like life, those are never easy to get and valuable when you do. Anyway, best of luck with it.

twicehappy -> RE: Really sad Dom (6/15/2006 5:38:10 AM)
The first thing i noticed is that you do not have much of a description of who you are or what you like. Be a little more descriptive of you physical appearance, your vanilla likes and dislikes and what you are looking for and what you offer. The second thing is this from your profile; "Given that I am totally in love with a vanilla girl I guess you would need to be open to a polyamorous relationship. Online is fine for a start but you need to see moving to R/L as the outcome." You need to state whether or not your vanilla partner is willing to do poly and her contact info or an offer of her contact info if a subbie is interested, this makes an interested party feel more at ease. Honesty counts for a lot but the totally in love line actually makes it appear you are not looking for someone you and your partner are willing to learn to love. Not many simply wished to be used. Poly is about creating a loving family unit irregardless if it also includes M/s. It is not about simply acquiring another sex partner.

DesertRat -> RE: Really sad Dom (6/15/2006 6:18:08 AM)
Looking at the profile, I would suggest clarifying about the "totally in love with a vanilla girl" issue and how it relates to polyamory. Does she know about this, or will you be skulking around behind her back? Also, I'd put up a picture. Small town? Screw 'em...they don't get much smaller than the little village where I live. Failing that, I would, as suggested above, get to that picture sending point sooner, just to save time and trouble. Minor profile quibble: Your spelling needs a little touch-up. Bob

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Really sad Dom (6/15/2006 7:32:46 AM)
The one sure way to get around that roller coaster of emotions is to just post your photo right off. That way, those that contact you with a sincere email, are obviously ready to look beyond the physical. This is the same reason I include that I'm a Master and things about my spirituality on my more vanilla webpage on myspace. It saves time. If you truly don't want to list your photo because of a small town, switch your town to the nearest big city, then indicate that you live X miles away. Master Fire

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Really sad Dom (6/15/2006 7:50:21 AM)
Is there a reason you cannot place your height/weight and relative description of yourself on profile? It is possible some folks are disappearing after looking; sometimes it's the photo, sometimes it's simply people being flaky online. I believe you ought to be as honest and forthright as possible, and that way you will most likely attract someone based on honest information rather than their visualizing someone with nic "confident master." Oh and this like quote: Given that I am totally in love with a vanilla girl I guess you would need to be open to a polyamorus relationship rubs me completely wrong and not because of the polyamory clause. <<<--- Will now step outta this since she is not sub anyway. M

HisTicia -> RE: Really sad Dom (6/15/2006 7:58:58 AM)
I agree with MasterFireMaam....I live in a really, really small town.. in a bible-belt type place.. I just used the closest city to me.. which is about 25 min away..and then once I get to know someone a bit.. I tell them the actual town. That way I could post my pic..and not have to worry about hurt feelings if I sent it later and they didn't think I was attractive. Saved me a lot of time and energy.. that pause while you wait to see what they think of you.. if they didn't like the way I looked..they wouldn't have written in the first place. Also the being in love with a vanilla part...I personally don't like to share.. so if I had seen that.. I would never have responded.. other than a "thanks..but no thanks". Most of us would like to feel that you could love us also..but it seems your heart is already taken in that area.. so you might change the wording a bit.. and explain exactly what you are looking for. Is it just a play partner.. once in a while thing.. because you are with someone..you might get lucky and find a sub that either doesn't mind..or that is in the same situtation.

BreakMeShakeMe -> RE: Really sad Dom (6/15/2006 8:02:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom A good picture is worth a lot, there are many here who ONLY contacted me after I posted a picture. Of course all profess to love my writing but didn't contact me when I was just writing. Many would probably attack men for being hung up on finding attractive women too. I have no idea why they cut off contact, it could be that after a couple of emails they find something they don't like and it isn't actually the picture that does it. Most here aren't worth bothering with, there are very certainly some genuine gems, but like life, those are never easy to get and valuable when you do. Anyway, best of luck with it. Crappy... your pic avatar looks like a twin to charlie sheen after being on a binge...lol (Just kidding) Serious though... you're right... when I do not have a pic on my profile..I get all these nice e-mails.. chats.. that lead to pics.. once they get pic.. Poof! Go figure...lol...it's nice to know right up front that looks are more important than the person themselves. I use to be leary of my pics.. because of my medical problem I gained alot of weight...and I wasn't happy. Sense losing alot I've gotten better about it. And a couple of months ago, I met this young Marine here in town, who is just a friend. And he made me feel comfortable about being seen in public with him. To the point that while at apple bees.. the waiter made a comment about he could do better.... and I've never seen a man move so fast as he snatched him up and made his appologize to me and my girls who were sitting there. And we still go out together...and love to make others think we're a couple not just friends now...LOL

LiliesDoGrow -> RE: Really sad Dom (6/15/2006 8:19:15 AM)
<fast reply to> Why are seeking anyone if you are so "totally in love". Sometimes people just like to collect pictures. Nothing personal involved. Most likely your rejection if because of your wanting someone to take a second place in your life. If that. An ugly man with a terrific personality who is attentive and caring can suddenly become mighty handsome in the eyes of a woman.

Arpig -> RE: Really sad Dom (6/15/2006 8:50:21 AM)
quote: An ugly man with a terrific personality who is attentive and caring can suddenly become mighty handsome in the eyes of a woman. This must be true, since I do pretty well [;)] However since i have an abrrasive personality, I must be damned attentive and caring eh?

juliaoceania -> RE: Really sad Dom (6/15/2006 8:51:59 AM)
Perhaps you could send a pic of yourself in the first email? I have no idea what you look like, so I do not know what to tell you, but I will say that there are a lot of people that base their decisions to talk with someone in a romantic sense on looks. I am not one of these.. although even I have a few deal breakers in the looks department. I am usually not very concerned about it personally Others have already commented on your profile, so I won't, I just wanted to say is I would rather people that are judging me based on a picture were out of my way as fast as possible then exchange several emails first. I would feel more rejected on a personal level if that were the case. Good Luck!

akisha -> RE: Really sad Dom (6/15/2006 10:40:29 AM)
One thing to note regarding photos. Some people photograph exceptionally well and some don't photgraph well at all. So even if you have a great picture they might not like you in person. Anyone who's going to judge on a picture alone really isn't worth your time. In my opinion anyway.

sisteretal -> RE: Really sad Dom (6/15/2006 12:59:32 PM)
Sir, I thought Your profile was great until I got to the sentence about You having a vanilla girlfriend. No matter how far I stretch my imagination... I personally don't see much hope of having a harmonious poly household if the other female is vanilla. I could be wrong, but that's just my opinion. Respectfully ~ phoenix

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