RE: Obedience - real life

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Submotive -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/15/2006 2:45:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 quote: ORIGINAL: enigmabrat OK I need to ask is he a real life Master or an Online Master I know I find it harder to obay real life requests from online Masters rather then obaying real life commands from a real life Master there is a big difference at least to me ohhhh submotives Master is VERY real--- ~~smiles~~ i adore You MH.

irishbynature -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/15/2006 2:48:16 PM)
Was his command set as a "Hard limit" by you before you became submissive to him? Or could it be he wishes to push limits the two of you have not explored? [;)]

Bearlee -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/15/2006 2:50:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Submotive Oh, thank you, Bearlee. Yes, after hearing such wonderful advice and support, my head is on straight again and i am back in my proper place. Yes, i do feel very thankful to have such a wonderful Master and provided the opportunity to be obedient. i was alone for a long time too. i don't tend to think submission is a gift so much as the opportunity to submit is the gift. red hightlight is mine WOW I just got goosebumps! That's spot on! Sheeshhhhhhhh REALLY well put, kiddo. Thank you! That was just lovely...

MrrPete -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/15/2006 2:59:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavejali ..... What I felt years ago, is certainly not the submissive or slave I am today. Although, way back when, I really did feel I was submitting all of me, looking back, I can see that wasnt true. Au contraire slavejali, it WAS true at that moment in time. you didn't know there was more to give in time.

slavejali -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/15/2006 3:01:50 PM)
MrrPete, yes thats a better way to say it [:)]

sabswife -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/15/2006 3:31:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bearlee quote: ORIGINAL: BreakMeShakeMe quote: ORIGINAL: Bearlee quote: ORIGINAL: BreakMeShakeMe I just tell him... no can do... sorry.. got something else instead... if he gets pist.. he gets pist.. and then I tell him.. if it can be done.. you go do it.. ... Right...and know THIS: the very first time you tell that to your Dominant, you have pretty much ENDED your D/s relationship! You cannot expect it to continue if you just up and tell Him/Her "NO". Having said that... I refer you back to LadiesBladewing. What she said! Communicate, communicate communicate! I disagree.... being able to tell a dom NO isn't the end of the world or a relationship. I beg to differ with you...at least in the manner you suggested (that I've now highlighted in red). But...I read your profile and have no interest in discussing it with you. We'll have to agree to disagree, honey. i have to say, i will agree to disagree right along with you on this one bearlee, i wouldn't speak to my Dom that way. communication is one thing, but to lay it out the way she said it, no chance.

Submotive -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/15/2006 3:55:34 PM)
quote: Make sure you're not saying no in order to be punished. subs that like to be spanked will sometimes misbhave just to get a good spanking. Not me - frustrating and disappointing my Master is not something i enjoy. i just beg when i want a spanking. And punishment - no thank you - He doesn't punish in ways i would seek out.

candleTC -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/15/2006 3:56:06 PM)
. o O ( thinks about saying NO to Master............. ) THENN i woke up, bright and early, with a grand smile on my face.. fixed His coffee, and told Him how fricken awesome He is... and fixed His breakfast, refilled His coffee, and smiled at Him again.. uh huh uh huh ..... Yeah, i really think that saying No to Master is probably not a realll safe idea. In all actuality, i am not sure i have ever even thought about saying no to Him. i do, believe, that on occasion, there is a little room for open dialogue when it comes to being asked of tasks that either need clarification or instruction on how to properly complete the task in the time alloted. That's just when you have to know enough about your Master to know which battles to pursue and which ones to just lay down. Once again , only my opinion.... Beth

Submotive -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/15/2006 4:04:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavejali Without inferring that one submissive is better than another, or giving different stages of submission a name, from my experience, there are levels of submission we experience, from the very topical hey thiis is fun type to the very subtle where we experience it incredibly deeply. What I felt years ago, is certainly not the submissive or slave I am today. Although, way back when, I really did feel I was submitting all of me, looking back, I can see that wasnt true. Well even though you seem to have resolved this within yourself already, all I can add is, these things you have been experiencing are natural. I think in every part of self growth or realisation, in whatever area it is, we come across areas in our psyche where there seems to be a brick wall, it seems we cant go any further, we can feel rebellion against even climbing the wall, breaking it down, we can feel we are not capable of breaking it at all, we can feel dumb cause we can see its a bloody illusion but just cant seem to get our head around acting on that thought and moving ahead, we can feel it might be better just to turn around and go back the way we came, or work out a way around it without actually having to surmount it, we can experience it lots of ways. If we remain conscious of this and keep pressing on we get rewarded with a new understanding of submission and an increased ability to serve on a level we never before knew was possible. It could just be that you've been pms and being difficult too though [:)] Thank you much slavejali. i understand your words and hope that my submission continually grows and deepens as well as my love for Scotch Master. As good as i feel now, i know i will continue to work through frustrations. My frustration is not with my Master's commands, but with my lack of joy in pleasing Him - this is where the struggle lies. i understand obeying Him is not based on whether i like the command or not. i do hope that as i grow, i will find pleasure in the act of obedience, and that i surrender to His control rather than having to struggle with myself to accept His control. Yet, i do realize that habits from years of being on my own and making all decisions for myself, don't just dissolve with the snap of a finger. Hmm - maybe the crack of a whip ~~grins~~.

slavejali -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/15/2006 4:25:07 PM)
quote: Hmm - maybe the crack of a whip Hehe, a good beating has really helped me at times [:)] Which kinda brings up another question for me.....once I formulate my thoughts around it, might start a new topic so I dont hijack this one lol

BreakMeShakeMe -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/15/2006 8:40:37 PM)
Just tickles me how the whole post wasn't mentioned... when I stated it's all in how it's stated... and that no one single person on here can't take a joke... or joke around period. (Speaking of the section... if you want it done.. do it yourself).... Life isn't so serious 24/7... if you can't joke about things.. shame... because life is so much fun...when you can find humor in things... But shit... what do I care... flame away on half the response.... and go ahead and forget the rest that was stated.....

skittykitty -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/15/2006 8:55:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BreakMeShakeMe Just tickles me how the whole post wasn't mentioned... when I stated it's all in how it's stated... and that no one single person on here can't take a joke... or joke around period. (Speaking of the section... if you want it done.. do it yourself).... Life isn't so serious 24/7... if you can't joke about things.. shame... because life is so much fun...when you can find humor in things... But shit... what do I care... flame away on half the response.... and go ahead and forget the rest that was stated..... I actually saw the humour you intended in your post, shame no one else did, it is ALL in the way it's stated of course, and once again, different limits for different people, I wouldn't want anyone who was so insecure of his domly status that me saying 'no, i cant do this (for these reasons)' that it would make him immediately want to show me the door.

candleTC -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/15/2006 9:57:13 PM)
quote: pet peeve number two u/Using s/Small a/And l/Large t/Typing makes you look like an idiot who reads far too many badly written gor books allow me to hijack this thread for a moment.. erm.. i mean, re-hijack it on another track.. i think.. eh.. i don't know... Gor has nothing to do with that style of typing... it's online roleplaying nonsense. Please, don't lump all Goreans in with the "T/typing L/like I/idiots" C/clan. Thanks. Have a great night :)

joyinslavery -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/15/2006 10:08:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candleTC quote: pet peeve number two u/Using s/Small a/And l/Large t/Typing makes you look like an idiot who reads far too many badly written gor books allow me to hijack this thread for a moment.. erm.. i mean, re-hijack it on another track.. i think.. eh.. i don't know... Gor has nothing to do with that style of typing... it's online roleplaying nonsense. Please, don't lump all Goreans in with the "T/typing L/like I/idiots" C/clan. Thanks. Have a great night :) Sorry but slight hijack to the hijack here (will I be targeted by Homeland Security for saying hijack twice?)...I'm new and have done the T/typing thing. Is it considered silly/ stupid by most? Sorry..I should start another one! [sm=smile.gif]

timeoutgurlie -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/15/2006 10:31:29 PM)
Read through only Submotive's posts here, so sorry if I repeat what's been said. In my first D/s relationship, I felt this way too. When you said something about thinking, "This is ridiculous" I laughed...been there a time or two lol Not sure if this will ring true at all for you, but for me, I felt that because I was insecure for one, so I felt almost like he was just testing me to see how much I'd be willing to do for him, felt like it wasn't things he truly found 'pleasing', just...entertaining [8\|] So, it made me not want to be his 'fool'. After we'd been together longer, then I felt that less and less. Nearing the end, I felt it again though, and then it was for a completely different reason...I no longer felt satisfied being with him, so I felt it was ridiculous to do these things for his pleasure when I was getting less than I needed. At that point, I knew I had to move on, and did, and now with my current partner I don't have those rebellious or ridiculous feelings, which shocks me because we've been together for such a short time. Something about him lets me have that security that he is pleased and satisfied with me, there's none of that insecurity. I take that back, there are still some insecurities, but not in that area (whether or not my submission is pleasing to him). If that's not what you feel the cause is, then have a sit down and reason out what sparks these feelings inside you. It's usually a somewhat difficult process to 'figure yourself out', but well worth the work. Best wishes, have fun and enjoy the ride [:D]

mons -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/16/2006 3:15:02 AM)
greeting to all Talk with him about it, talking always help to us it maybe simple but to you maybe something you can not stand to do. I can not judge you but try talking ok best wishes mons/jane[&:]

Calandra -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/16/2006 3:35:28 AM)
Great post CD! To the OP Another thing is this: Your Dom may not even realize that you don't like this activity, command, directive, whatever... I know that I usually assign the chores to the specific sub/slave in the house that enjoys/ dosen't mind/ or excels at something. When I discover that a sub/slave dosen't like to do something, I consider if there's a specific reason to go ahead and have him/her do it. If there isn't, I sometimes assign it to someone else. OR I will rotate that chore so no one has to do it all the time. Maybe he doesn't KNOW your feelings.

sharainks -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/16/2006 3:40:36 AM)
Submotive, maybe you are just on overload. You say its only been 4 months with this dominant. You don't say if this is your first attempt at this type of a relationship. I looked at your profile and couldn't tell from that either. To me length of relationship matters a lot as does how much my heart, mind, and soul are engaged in the relationship. Here is how it works for me. I have to care about someone deeply before that deep sense of wanting to please someone kicks in. Until that time I may do my best to obey but that no way thing still kicks in. Once I do care deeply all I have to do is look at him and the first question my mind asks no matter what is being asked is, "do I want to risk displeasing him"? My best guess is that you are just not there yet. Many people here voice the opinion that a sub must be ready to do all just because he wants it. My own experience is that it takes time. Four months is not that long. Submission is not instant. Knowing how to become a master to a particular submissive is not instant. There is a lot to be said for a dominant who takes the time, makes the effort, and consistently but slowly draws a submissive into the deeper depths of their submission. In the end it depends on what you both want as an end result. If you want a superficial D/s dynamic where one submits only because they feel they have to you can have that. If both want a relationship where domination and submission come from the heart you can have that too. The latter takes longer to build and to maintain but its the only kind I want.

agirl -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/16/2006 4:43:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Submotive quote: ORIGINAL: LadiesBladewing First, I'd have to ask you why you're having difficulty? Is it a physical issue, an emotional issue, a "limits" issue? Second, I'd have to ask you whether you've discussed your difficulty with the one person who can really answer your questions -- your Master. Obedience is important, and if you are unable to obey, it is also important to let your owner know the situation -- he will certainly have suggestions or be able to answer your questions in order to improve your chances of obeying, OR, if it is unresolveable, will need to know this, in order to decide how he wants to proceed with you from there. Da'Avatar ZWD www.klashaan.org Thank You - The command is simply that. There is no real reason i cannot obey. i'm just noticing my internal reactions and don't like what i see. i get irritated instead of thankful, feel rebellious instead of submissive - LOL - but then, i must remember i've only been doing this for 4 months. But maybe i'll always be somewhat of a brat. I often feel that way....often no real reason not to obey. Sometimes it's simply that I don't want to....I feel irritation, annoyance and quite cross too............but having chosen a relationship where obeying is a pretty fundamental part of it, what can I say? Submitting can be an arse-pain....bending your will to someone elses is not always going to be comfortable. agirl

MasterRobert1 -> RE: Obedience - real life (6/16/2006 5:37:42 AM)
Hardest part of this lifestyle for a sub, actually submitting. But, isn't this what you're after? Remember: takes no effort to submit to things YOU WANT.

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