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impossible??? - 11/5/2004 3:41:14 PM

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Joined: 10/27/2004
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I'd just like to hear some thoughts on the matter. I got a message from another slave/sub telling me I'm naive to think i could find a Master who deeply cares for and loves me in a true Master/slave relationship. She said what they really want is more than one slave or they gat bored, and that "longterm" to a Master means about a year. I can see how a sub/slave could easily get used, and taken advantage of, because of the nature of the scenario, but are all doms this way? In short, socipathic assholes? Are there none who truely seek love and the master/slave symbiosis? It's disheartening enough as it is, this search of mine. Please advise me. And thanks in advance.
yoursalone

RE: impossible??? - 11/5/2004 3:52:51 PM

LadyDragnWarrior

Posts: 8
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Alabama
Status: offline

yoursalone:
That kind of response sounds like someone who has been hurt. The Master/slave relationship you seek exists but its no easier to find than "true love" in the vanilla world. It may even be harder to find but it exists. Keep your head about you and trust your instincts.

Lady Dragon Warrior

(in reply to yoursalone)

RE: impossible??? - 11/5/2004 3:56:15 PM

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
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It's not impossible. There are many idiots who think "long term" is only a year or two, and there are a lot of that sort of idiot in the community, but really you run the same risks in any relationship. There are excellent examples among the members who frequent these boards of long term D/S relationships that have lasted many years.

Good luck in your search, dear, and take heart. Every day I see profiles of dominant types looking for one special person to share their life with. They can't all be pretending, and they can't all be incompatable with you, so you could very well find the person you're looking for. You just gotta slog through a lot of slime to find them.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to yoursalone)

RE: impossible??? - 11/5/2004 3:58:19 PM

Posts: 11766
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We are a Master/slave couple living 24/7 for over 2 years, and we met on-line to boot.

What else do you need to know?

And we'd suggest you stay away from any self identified Master who is bored with his slave. A Master controls the slave, so if he is bored - he is the cause of the boredom.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 11/6/2004 7:29:51 AM >

(in reply to yoursalone)

RE: impossible??? - 11/5/2004 5:25:19 PM

Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
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Its not impossible. Keep trying. There are lots of true, honest people out there and one of them is looking for you.

(in reply to yoursalone)

RE: impossible??? - 11/5/2004 5:29:22 PM

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

You do need to be careful and be aware of blow-job Dom who are just looking for sex. Once you weed those men out, I think you have a good chance of finding what you seek. From reading your ad, I'd say you're looking for a Daddy Dom. This does NOT have anything to do with age role play or incest. It is a caretaking type of Dominant. His "little girl" is his treasure and taken care of, cherished and yes.. dominated. "Daddies" run the gamut from sadists to sensualists so you can find one who is either gentle enough or harsh enough to suit your needs.

Remember, one person's experiences will not be yours. She may have felt she was doing you a favor by sending you a warning missive, but do not let what went wrong in her relationships cloud what can happen for you. There are a lot of married and long term committed Dom/sub couples. It may take you a while to find what you seek, but it is out there. Don't give up and don't let others dishearten you. Finding the perfect person, in vanilla land or BDSM, takes time.

You do not have where in Mass you're located so I'm just putting up a few Munch links. If you don't know what a munch is, it is a casual lunch or dinner at a safe public place where you can go and meet other locals into BDSM. It is a good way to get to know people and the lifestyle. You may also find your Dom there.

http://www.boston-tng.org/
http://www.wmpe.org/
http://www.nefg.org/index.html
http://www.nla-newengland.org/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CapeCodKink/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SouthShoreMunch/
http://www.bostondungeon.org/munches.htm

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to yoursalone)

RE: impossible??? - 11/5/2004 5:29:40 PM

Posts: 91
Joined: 10/11/2004
Status: offline

I can only speak for myself: I'm looking for "the one" - not someone I can use and then discard when boredom sets in.

My observation, as a dom of 10 years now shifting into a Master/slave perspective is that some people who go the Master/slave route are really interested in control much more than love. I'm on one or two Yahoo groups devoted to enslavement, and there are long term couples on them - and these people, who embrace total power exchange in the context of deep love are my role models as I make my own shift into a TPE mindset. I'm not saying that's the way it SHOULD be for everyone, but that's what fits for me. I'd hate to have to love less in order to control more!

The thing that's hard about making a pesonal commitment to wait for "the one" is...the waiting! That goes as much for the Masters/Mistresses, I think, as it does the slave. Regardless of our role, we're all yearning deeply for something that is an integral part of our being. Sometimes it's damn hard to be at a bandquet (like collarme.com) and feel everyone's got a good meal but me!

The best advice I got was from a Master on one of those lists who found the love of his life - and his perfect slave - on a bdsm personals site. He suggest that I needed to be very clear about exactly what I wanted, and to put myself out there, explicitly stating what I was looking for.

That's what I'm doing (in my profile, and on various lists).- and I encourage you not to lose faith in the universe as you do the same.

You may want to "advertise yourself" on any of the following Yahoo groups (these are now ACTIVE LINKS per Suleiman's suggestion):

consensual_enslavement

femaleslaveslookingforowners

livingenslavement

TPEPersonals

Best wishes and good luck on your search!

Yankeestick

< Message edited by Yankeestick -- 11/5/2004 9:30:37 PM >

(in reply to yoursalone)

RE: impossible??? - 11/5/2004 6:45:17 PM

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Joined: 9/9/2004
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You know, yahoo has been doing everything in their power the last few years to bury these groups. I haven't been able to search yahoo for anything of the sort for a long while, and a quick search for these specific listings turned up nothing. You might want to edit your post to include a hyperlink directly to the sites, or else I think no one here will be able to find them.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to Yankeestick)

RE: impossible??? - 11/5/2004 7:01:16 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

I can't speak for the Doms and I really shouldn't speak for the Dommes but I can speak for Myself. LTR = Long Term or Life Time??? either or. For Me, I do in fact seek a lifetime companion. Perhaps it will not begin that way, and I can't make promises. But I am not seeking a stable of boys so I don't get sexually bored. That does not mean I wish to get married.
I agree that it is just as hard to find in this lifestyle as it is in the vanilla world. Look at the divorce rate. And it does seem that many are so focused on the sex. BDSM and vanilla. I date, and I see, hear it and feel it it all the time. Get into bed or forget it.
So I try to focus on the other aspects...much to the many of the boys' dismay. There is a method to My madness! And if that mean I wash My own undies, so be it.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 11/5/2004 7:02:31 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to yoursalone)

RE: impossible??? - 11/5/2004 9:33:54 PM

Posts: 91
Joined: 10/11/2004
Status: offline

quote:

You know, yahoo has been doing everything in their power the last few years to bury these groups. I haven't been able to search yahoo for anything of the sort for a long while, and a quick search for these specific listings turned up nothing. You might want to edit your post to include a hyperlink directly to the sites, or else I think no one here will be able to find them.

Thanks for the suggestion, Suleiman. I just did that.

I'm not sure where I found these links, at this point. Maybe on some TPE site or other?

Anyway, if Yahoo! is trying to discourage kinky e-groups on the net, I think they're cutting of the head of a hydra (grinning).

Best -

Yankeestick

(in reply to Suleiman)

RE: impossible??? - 11/6/2004 8:29:58 AM

Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
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I met my slave online about 4 years ago and we have been together r/t for about 3 years. I am poly, but in no way am I "bored" with her. I think that the comments you received were from someone who was hurt and bitter about their own experiences. Stick to your standards and find the one who is right for you. It is definately not impossible.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to yoursalone)

RE: impossible??? - 11/6/2004 1:24:00 PM

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Joined: 10/1/2004
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Well I think an ltr means for life but each has their own view I suppose, personally I will wait for she whom I think I can spend eternity with and accept nothing less 1/1

(in reply to yoursalone)

RE: impossible??? - 11/6/2004 4:17:21 PM

stormiKnightBEAR

Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: yoursalone

I'd just like to hear some thoughts on the matter. I got a message from another slave/sub telling me I'm naive to think i could find a Master who deeply cares for and loves me in a true Master/slave relationship. She said what they really want is more than one slave or they gat bored, and that "longterm" to a Master means about a year. I can see how a sub/slave could easily get used, and taken advantage of, because of the nature of the scenario, but are all doms this way? In short, socipathic assholes? Are there none who truely seek love and the master/slave symbiosis? It's disheartening enough as it is, this search of mine. Please advise me. And thanks in advance.
yoursalone

This girl does understand your confusion and desires. The only advice that this girl can offer is to be realistic.
All of us have had horror stories and even hurt, some of it cuts very deeply and leaves scars so bad that it makes it
near impossible to have a relationship where that does not always "whisper" in the back of our mind. And yes, that includes this girl.... dang it, that hurts to admit. Sometimes it makes seeing what is good in front very hard.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

And we'd suggest you stay away from any self identified Master who is bored with his slave. A Master controls the slave, so if he is bored - he is the cause of the boredom.

Sir Mercnbeth,
This girl agrees whole heartedly with what you said. But the issue there is..... Not many will admit they are responsible. This girl wishes that she had a penny for everytime she was told a line of crock about a Dom being unhappy and it being the slaves fault.

There maybe times where a Master has neglected or turned lazy for lack of another description at this minute, and in doing so has neglected things that are important which in turn causes a negative behavior in a slave. and so the vicious cycle begins.

The possibilities are endless... but the thing is anytime a relationship is right, it takes TWO to make it that way. When things are wrong it takes TWO to make it fall apart.

This girl had given up completely. Was content to be alone and go forth in the world with no problem. But then Master came along and all that seemed less important. The hurt and scars still rear their ugly heads at times. But the good news is that stormi now realizes that at times and is able to work thru it and other times it's not so easy.

Don't misunderstand. stormi DOES believe in miracles, stormi believes in the impossible, and yes stormi believes in having dreams and praying to be blessed with just one of those dreams coming true in a persons life time.

This girl wishes yoursalone a safe and happy journey in finding what she is seeking/craving.
Best of luck and God's speed.

stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to yoursalone)

RE: impossible??? - 11/6/2004 10:21:38 PM

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Joined: 1/11/2004
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Master and I met online over 5 years ago. I relocated within 30 days of our first meeting, liking him, trusting him, and knowing I just plain old didn't know him well enough to say I *loved* him. Eventually that changed, and we married. That was *his* choice, as he wished our relationship to be full in all ways and felt being a step-father to my teen sons (13&14 at the time) was important.

We took in a little boy who we had known from birth just over a year ago. It was the first time we ever had someone with us ALL the time, and caused lots of changes (just like any baby) does.

Those who get *bored* sometimes take the mundane that happens and has to be dealt with in ANY long term relationship to be the same as boredom. ANY relationship needs work, communication and honest attemps to keep things fresh.....

< Message edited by EStrict -- 11/6/2004 10:22:27 PM >

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)

RE: impossible??? - 11/7/2004 11:57:44 AM

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

WE are all different and we seek different things.
Unfortunately there are a LOT of wannabe's around who just want to get laid.

As each of us are different each relationship we enter in is different.

It is also just as possable that a female subbie/slave want to "share" her/his master with another like themselves.
The key here is to a. weed out the wannabe's b. Get to know someone before committing at all.

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to yoursalone)

RE: impossible??? - 11/7/2004 2:07:40 PM

Posts: 241
Status: offline

We met online 9 years and a month or two ago, met in person 9 years and 11 days ago, and have been together for 8 years, 11 months and 7 days. On a ten point scale, with 10 being bored to death, we're at about 0.1.

_____________________________

"Find more pleasure in intelligent dissent rather than passive agreement; for if you value intelligence as you should, the former implies a deeper agreement than the latter."
-- Bertrand Russell

(in reply to yoursalone)

RE: impossible??? - 11/7/2004 2:17:09 PM

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Joined: 10/11/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoCalOwner

We met online 9 years and a month or two ago, met in person 9 years and 11 days ago, and have been together for 8 years, 11 months and 7 days. On a ten point scale, with 10 being bored to death, we're at about 0.1.

I love hearing that kind of story. Thanks for sharing it.

(in reply to NoCalOwner)

RE: impossible??? - 11/7/2004 9:12:59 PM

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Joined: 1/20/2004
Status: offline

It's not impossible though I imagine that it feels like that from time to time.

I hate to say this being dominate myself, but a lot of doms are not looking for commitment even if they say so (many will just tell you that since they think that is what you want to hear). But there are a ot of doms who do. Keep looking. Good communications is the key as well as honesty.

(in reply to yoursalone)

RE: impossible??? - 11/7/2004 9:26:25 PM

Posts: 33
Joined: 8/29/2004
Status: offline

Wow! In that case I must be living in a great fantasy! I am a submissive/slave. And I have been in my relationship with My Lord for 15 years... I have in simple terms a long-term relationship. We have a deep and abiding respect and love for each other. I am sure there are Dominants or 'posers' who pretend to be Dominants who abuse the title and the position. I am sure there are some who have to continue to hunt for 'new game' as it were, are they all like that? No, because besides my Lord, his house hold is associated with several other Dominant's households and they are all similar to My Lord's own. I do not think you should feel you are doomed from the on set. Instead, continue to look for your 'standard' or 'ideal' remember to fine tune it often, since NO ONE I perfect, not even my Lord, whom I adore and serve with love. Just as I know I am not perfect either. Respects Silence

(in reply to yoursalone)

RE: impossible??? - 11/8/2004 12:34:40 PM

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Joined: 8/8/2004
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I would love to read more profiles for those seeking lifetime relationships. Long term relationships could mean anything to anyone, but there is only one definition for a lifetime.

Syn

_____________________________

Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence?

(in reply to mtsilence)

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