I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (Full Version)

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sddaddysgirl -> I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 3:21:00 PM)

Or at least his version of punishment. Which has come down from a sort of formal spanking/beating that we both enjoy, to him just smacking, pinching, jacking my arms and hands into painful positions whenever I do something annoying.

I feel like he's crossing the line from Master to abusive prick. When I tried to talk to him about it today he threw my purse at me, causing my cigarette to severely burn my hand, and stormed out.

Am I wrong to question what the hell is going on with us now?



areallivehuman -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 3:27:06 PM)

No. If it feels wrong it probably is.



absolutchocolat -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 3:29:43 PM)

in a good M/s relationship, communication is important. the fact that your master threw a fit when you tried to talk to him about a legitimate issue is not a good sign.

quick question: is the severity of punishment the issue for you, or do you not agree with the punishment dynamic at all?



poise -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 3:32:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sddaddysgirl
When I tried to talk to him about it today he threw my purse at me, causing my cigarette to severely burn
my hand, and stormed out.

Am I wrong to question what the hell is going on with us now?

You can never be wrong for wanting to discuss concerns about your relationship, especially with the
person you are in the relationship with. However, it doesn't look like wants to discuss it with you.
Can you handle both the abusive prick and now the silent treatment?



sddaddysgirl -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 3:34:47 PM)

To some degree I'm not okay with the severity. Throwing things at me is never cool. And I really dislike being hurt in anger, if that makes sense. A punishment session when we're both calm is much different than him getting irritated and smacking me, you know?



DutchessD -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 3:39:59 PM)

A punishment that you "both" Enjoy? WTF! How is a reward going to correct bad behavior?



whantsonlyu -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 3:43:56 PM)

Not an expert on M/s, but I know abuse when I see it. From what little info you've given sounds like he's crossed the line. I mean there are different degrees and forms of punishments. But throwing a fit like a 2year old and hurting someone just seems wrong. If he can't act like an adult then he doesn't deserve to be called a master.



chatterbox24 -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 3:46:29 PM)

He is crossing the line , going from master to abuser, if you ask me. Doesn't sound like there is any rationale behind it now and it is anger based.



absolutchocolat -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 3:48:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sddaddysgirl

A punishment session when we're both calm is much different than him getting irritated and smacking me, you know?


you hit the nail on the head there. someone who hurts you because he's angry is abusive, and there's no excuse for that. it's good that you are questioning that behavior. get out and get help before he really hurts you.



tazzygirl -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 3:58:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sddaddysgirl

To some degree I'm not okay with the severity. Throwing things at me is never cool. And I really dislike being hurt in anger, if that makes sense. A punishment session when we're both calm is much different than him getting irritated and smacking me, you know?


We have only one side of the story, so I cant talk about your relationship with him.

All the advice I can give you is if it feels wrong to you, then its wrong.



OsideGirl -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 4:02:46 PM)

I agree with what others have said.

1) A temper tantrum when asking to discuss your relationship is not acceptable in any relationship, but it doesn't shine a positive light on someone claiming to be a Dominant.

2) Punishment done in anger is a loss control.



ARIES83 -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 4:53:55 PM)

Temper tantrums coming from someone who calls
himself a dom, really don't work for me.

Instant loss of any respect...
But as far as punishment... I'll just say the same as
everyone else, if it feels wrong theres a good chance
it is.

IMO, some of the most effective "punishments" are
non-physical, everyones different though so I'm not
going to automaticaly say it is abuse.

-Aries



theRose4U -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 7:03:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sddaddysgirl

Or at least his version of punishment. Which has come down from a sort of formal spanking/beating that we both enjoy, to him just smacking, pinching, jacking my arms and hands into painful positions whenever I do something annoying.

I feel like he's crossing the line from Master to abusive prick. When I tried to talk to him about it today he threw my purse at me, causing my cigarette to severely burn my hand, and stormed out.

Am I wrong to question what the hell is going on with us now?

That ship sailed loooong ago by what you post here. Now its time to board the ss getthefuckout!!



littlewonder -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 7:56:00 PM)

If you can't talk to him, it's over and has been for a long time.

If you can talk to him, then do so and tell him exactly what you said to us.

If he storms out or becomes angry again, consider it over.



DesFIP -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 8:47:46 PM)

What do you get from this man that is so wonderful that it outweighs him hurting you without telling you first not to do things, that outweighs him refusing to talk to you and listen to you, that outweighs him throwing things at you and not caring when you are harmed, that outweighs being ignored?

Because if there isn't anything, then you deserve better.

If your best friend/sister told you she had started dating a guy who refused to talk to her, who hit her whenever she said something he didn't want to hear, who stormed out in anger, who didn't care about her - would you tell her this was a great relationship and she was lucky to be treated this way? Or would you tell her that she doesn't deserve this and that she should find someone who valued her?

And if you would tell someone else not to stay in a relationship this dysfunctional, then why don't you take your own advice?



Darkfeather -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 9:27:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sddaddysgirl

To some degree I'm not okay with the severity. Throwing things at me is never cool. And I really dislike being hurt in anger, if that makes sense. A punishment session when we're both calm is much different than him getting irritated and smacking me, you know?


It is never, never ok to hit someone in anger. Being dominant means you have to skirt that edge between beast and control. How else can one justify inflicting pain on another individual. But the key in that is control, being able to let the beast out, but still know what it is doing. A person who cannot control that is a danger to you and themselves. This alone is cause to have a serious sit-down session and talk about what is going on



littlewonder -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 9:32:12 PM)

hhmm.....I keep wondering if this op and the other one getting the black eyes from her guy, are one in the same. Both profiles are hidden. It just seems there are a lot of commonalities. If it's not then maybe you two need to talk to each other.



absolutchocolat -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 9:57:53 PM)

there have been quite a few of these types of posts lately...it makes me sad. i hate to think that someone is using bsdm as an excuse to be abusive.



ARIES83 -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 10:05:05 PM)

Maybe a Mod can confirm or debunk me here...
When a person joins this forum, without going on
to the CM side, they have a profile there... But
without them touching it, a search for the profile
will say it is hidden... By default.......

People said I was a fake, or close enough to it,
when I started here, on the grounds that I had my
profile "hidden", at that point I had yet to even
investigate that side of this place...

Until a Mod proves me wrong, I'm going to say,
this attitude towards new posters because of the
"hidden" thing, is becoming tiresom.

-Aries



littlewonder -> RE: I need some perspective on my relationship with my Master... (11/12/2012 11:04:48 PM)

It has nothing to do with being hidden. It has to do that I don't think it's coincident that two women come on, a day or two apart with the same issues and the wording and vibe from both sound very similar.





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