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RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/14/2012 8:09:37 AM

searching4mysir

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FR

OK, today is the 14th. If she hasn't contacted you to meet by now, chances are she isn't going to.

Saying you are too submissive to say no is bullshit. That isn't being submissive. It is being a doormat, which means your submission is worth nothing because you give it away to anyone with a hole between their legs.

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No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/14/2012 8:32:20 AM

Posts: 11292
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourWyoToy

I did want to before all the drama she put me through, now i don't want to. However because of my submissive nature I don't want to hurt her because it would make me feel bad.

Maybe you need to work on this. I do understand that you feel responsible for rejecting someone and then they committed suicide. This is often a result of being close to someone that commits suicide or attempts it. That is a separate issue from being too submissive to properly deal with poor situations and seeing that as submission or even a good quality of submission. It is an unhealthy view of submission and not a worthy excuse to subject yourself to unhealthy situations because you will feel bad if you do and have no resolve to resist if it will make you feel bad.

Please, before you try getting involved in submissive type relationships, go talk to someone about both these issues as they are feeding one another and not in a good way. Rarely does anything good come of it. Including feelings for someone that mistreats you and this lady did. When you reason things out and you see something wrong and break something off and feel bad about it because you hurt someone, you open the door to many unhealthy and sometimes dangerous things. Including manipulators, abusers, conmen/women and continuing what might or could become a life long pattern that doesn't lead to happiness.

When something you reason out to be a problem, are you doubting your reasoning or is it that you really don't want to hurt someone? Believe it or not, some of us dominant's don't want to hurt someone like that either. However, if the reasons are good, not to be with someone, then there is nothing to feel bad about. The other person has their own responsibility in the matter, including how they feel about what you reason out and call. You cannot take on and own another persons emotional homework. There is nothing wrong in breaking up with someone and if you feel so weak in resistance if someone that tried to use you and abused you, then you need the emotional homework done. That is stinkin thinkin.

This woman has a career for which she must travel and she can't pay her bills? Is that your problem? Are you responsible? Your saying you couldn't help caused her to rant and you would give this person any thought over hurting them? You don't know what is in your own best interest enough to stand by it. Stand up, do not accept the call, if you do because you don't know the number, hang up and call a counselor.

I do know both these issues personally to one degree or another and YOU must learn your path to good emotional health and well being. We cannot do it for you or teach you little tricks to get around actually doing the emotional homework. Please do not mistake submissive nature with dysfunctional behavior. Please, work on you before you get worked over.

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to YourWyoToy)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/14/2012 12:45:51 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourWyoToy

I did want to before all the drama she put me through, now i don't want to. However because of my submissive nature I don't want to hurt her because it would make me feel bad.

Would you say "I don't want to miss out on an opportunity if maybe she's not yanking my chain this time" is a better fit than "don't want to hurt feelings"?
Seriously you are almost off this persons hook...this is yet another attempt to get you to start communicating again so she can enjoy you dangling for any crumb of attention.

Say it with me..."I am not a baby bird desperate for her left over affection"m (repeat as needed)
Would again strongly recommend contacting the center in denver

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to YourWyoToy)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/15/2012 6:28:51 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
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From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourWyoToy
Since I don't feel anything for her anymore I want to know how to handle myself if she contacts me trying to meet with me? and what should I do if for some reason she is really telling the truth about being here and happen to cross paths?

Just be honest with her. I had this same thing pop up w/ a former sub of mine. I politely said "Thank you for your interest but I'm not going down that road again" and he understood. How does someone know you don't want to see her again if you don't tell her?

NBMG

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I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to YourWyoToy)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/15/2012 7:45:58 PM

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Joined: 4/1/2007
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Chuckles ... well it is the 15th of November ... and your profile is deleted. Hmmm ...

Is there some money being exchanged? Like you western union on demand ... without meeting?

Well, guess we won't know. And that disappoint's me ...

As I was looking forward to finding out how you felt ....

(in reply to YourWyoToy)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/16/2012 4:17:31 AM

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I'm going to use my wish on a falling star to hope profile was deleted because a new name is in the works. If I don't get that wish, I really hope the call to gender identity center was made to get some help

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to VerySincere)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/16/2012 7:20:11 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VerySincere

Chuckles ... well it is the 15th of November ... and your profile is deleted. Hmmm ...

Is there some money being exchanged? Like you western union on demand ... without meeting?

Well, guess we won't know. And that disappoint's me ...

As I was looking forward to finding out how you felt ....

This was kind of My point.

The woman hadn't initiated contact with the OP at all after the whatever this was, was broken off. This whole thread was "what if" and the woman (ex-Mistress) in the scenario hadn't done anything. This topic was based on the OP's fantasy of HOPING the woman would approach him and want to see him during her business trip to his city. The OP never said that was the case and instead, projected his fantasy about what he hoped or thought might happen.

This thread was nothing more than the way high school girls hope that the guy who broke it off with them are still having feelings for them when they really don't.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to VerySincere)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/16/2012 3:38:58 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourWyoToy

Now that I have no more feelings for this person, I have come face to face with the possibility of a new dilemma. Several times this year she has said that she would be where I am on or around Nov. 15 because of something related to a business she works for. From what she told me about her life there is nothing I could really see she would be in my city for, but this is one of a few things that came up over and over again so I feel that this has a good chance of being a truth. I had some serious thoughts about waiting to see if she did contact me to meet up but then I stopped thinking like an idiot and thought as a human.

Since I don't feel anything for her anymore I want to know how to handle myself if she contacts me trying to meet with me? and what should I do if for some reason she is really telling the truth about being here and happen to cross paths?

Sounds like she wants you....I'm leaning towards an hourly charge.

(in reply to YourWyoToy)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/16/2012 10:02:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourWyoToy

Now that I have no more feelings for this person, I have come face to face with the possibility of a new dilemma. Several times this year she has said that she would be where I am on or around Nov. 15 because of something related to a business she works for. From what she told me about her life there is nothing I could really see she would be in my city for, but this is one of a few things that came up over and over again so I feel that this has a good chance of being a truth. I had some serious thoughts about waiting to see if she did contact me to meet up but then I stopped thinking like an idiot and thought as a human.

Since I don't feel anything for her anymore I want to know how to handle myself if she contacts me trying to meet with me? and what should I do if for some reason she is really telling the truth about being here and happen to cross paths?

Sounds like she wants you....I'm leaning towards an hourly charge.

No a pay me & let me control you via email girl & TG/ CD? Person in rural wyoming where the sheep are easily scared

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/16/2012 11:21:55 PM

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So if you all want to know what happened, she did contact me on the 14th with "Am 50$ off a bill am in trouble if dont pay in 2, hrs" After I said that I couldn't she stopped talking to me again. Now I don't have any more reservations about breaking it off and never really did. I was seeking input on what to do if the ex-mistress did contact me about the meeting we were talking about or if she showed up somewhere I was in town and she tried to talk to me. There was nothing about me hoping that she was real and did want to meet with me. I never hoped to meet with her. No money ever changed hands there was deal to "pay for play" with her.

How some of you people got the idea that I said I was too submissive to say no are a bunch of idiots. I never ever said or even tried to imply that. I said that I feel bad for saying no, but i do say no. This is why I hesitated posting looking for help, nothing really helped me because it just took turns that never had to do with the real situation.

I deleted my profile because I just got to frustrated with this site and all the flakes that were contacting me. I will it back up after time to rethink my choices of who to talk to on this site.

(in reply to theRose4U)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/17/2012 12:26:44 AM

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From: The cold bit of the UK
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Yeah, you mean, mean poopie-heads who used the tiny bit of information shared by the OP to predict EXACTLY what was going to happen should be ASHAMED of yourselves! Your honest, excellent advice was NOT the hugs and cuddles that were really being asked for...shame on you for not reading between the lines

Next time you offer advice, make sure to sugar-coat it so that the OP's delicate sensibilities aren't offended and s/he isn't forced to resort to throwing toys out of the pram.

There ya go OP - sorted it for ya!

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to YourWyoToy)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/17/2012 5:34:53 AM

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourWyoToy

So if you all want to know what happened, she did contact me on the 14th with "Am 50$ off a bill am in trouble if dont pay in 2, hrs" After I said that I couldn't she stopped talking to me again. Now I don't have any more reservations about breaking it off and never really did. I was seeking input on what to do if the ex-mistress did contact me about the meeting we were talking about or if she showed up somewhere I was in town and she tried to talk to me. There was nothing about me hoping that she was real and did want to meet with me. I never hoped to meet with her. No money ever changed hands there was deal to "pay for play" with her.

How some of you people got the idea that I said I was too submissive to say no are a bunch of idiots. I never ever said or even tried to imply that. I said that I feel bad for saying no, but i do say no. This is why I hesitated posting looking for help, nothing really helped me because it just took turns that never had to do with the real situation.

I deleted my profile because I just got to frustrated with this site and all the flakes that were contacting me. I will it back up after time to rethink my choices of who to talk to on this site.

OP, your entire original post was basically what if she contacts to meet or if you happen to see her. It was not that the woman HAD done either of those things. Even your follow up doesn't say that she did. All your follow up says is that she asked you for fifty bucks.

The woman was asking you for money. OK, but that's not the same thing that you asked about in the original. I could come to this forum and ask what if a pig flies by My window at daybreak. That's also something that isn't going to happen and I wouldn't expect a forum full of readers to start bitching about the pig who hadn't really done anything just because I threw a potential scenario out there.

I'll be the first to apologize that I didn't get on this thread and stroke your sensibilities because I didn't jump on the wagon to say what a horrible person she must be for something she didn't even do. Feel free to throw a hissy fit because people didn't help you with your imaginary problem because that's all it was.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to YourWyoToy)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/17/2012 5:51:27 AM

absolutchocolat

Posts: 1392
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourWyoToy

How some of you people got the idea that I said I was too submissive to say no are a bunch of idiots. I never ever said or even tried to imply that.

let's rewind this conversation, shall we?

quote:

I did want to before all the drama she put me through, now i don't want to. However because of my submissive nature I don't want to hurt her because it would make me feel bad.

quote:

every time I have thought of saying "no" I keep remembering a woman from my vanilla life that I rejected and she ultimately killed herself after a time. I know that this could be just a one time kind of thing, but the mistress I left and this other woman have shown some of the traits.

honestly, i think folks here were trying to help. if you don't think we were helpful, that's cool. calling us idiots is kind of over the top, though. good luck to you, in any case.

< Message edited by absolutchocolat -- 11/17/2012 5:53:43 AM >

(in reply to YourWyoToy)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/17/2012 6:56:38 AM

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Joined: 1/22/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourWyoToy

I did want to before all the drama she put me through, now i don't want to. However because of my submissive nature I don't want to hurt her because it would make me feel bad.

YOu are over her. She put you through drama, and hurt you? ANd you are worried about hurting her?

Tell her the truth plain and simple. People respect clear answers, and decisions, not ring around the roseys.

You can do it and good luck.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to YourWyoToy)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/17/2012 7:38:34 AM

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Maybe its just because I'm having a good see through the waffle days:

LP I think was spot on with the comment about this thread being similar to how high school girls cope
I think OP was forthright about "she says A will happen but keeps doing B...what do I do? How do I handle if A really does happen ?" I at least caught that

As for "people were mean so I deleted profile"...not the most mature response. I personally was hoping it was to prevent further contact from user domme, not a "I'm taking my toys & going home cause you guys don't play right" thing

I keep harping on this & will beat the dead horse once more...gender identity center in denver can help, if you will just call them!!!!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/17/2012 9:44:23 AM

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Thanks to all that actually gave advice on the situation at hand, everyone else that just felt like attacking me for every word and whatever possible idea popped into that you thought I needed help with just made me feel that throwing bricks up in the air and trying to catch them with my head was the better way to go.

As far as deleting my profile, that had nothing to do with this thread, i have to rethink it to try to attract someone that is real, or at least says what they mean.

I wasn't calling everyone idiots, just the ones that thought I couldn't say "no." If this was true I would be living in Texas chained in a basement with no teeth, had breast implants, my balls removed, and being a fuck toy.

Yes I did ask "what if this happens" because in my mind this was a very possible scenario that I didn't know what to do in. Yes it didn't happen and yes she did ask for money when I thought she was going to say that she would be here. Where did I imply that I was looking for people to say she was terrible, or to make me feel better about this situation? All I asked was for what to do if she kept her word, nothing about my ego there. I came here looking for help and now most of what has happened is people dumping on me for a simple request for help.

I do have a problem with rejecting people because I know someone that committed suicide after I rejected her. This is because I am a human, if this wouldn't affect you then maybe you should seek help. This does make me think about the other person feelings more now, but I can still reject people. I also know that if rejection leads to suicide, it isn't my fault, it is on the other person.

theRose4u, what does the gender identity center of colorado going to do for me about the possible situation I could have found myself in. Nothing I have said in the forums has made anyone else think that I am confused or lost in finding my gender or expressing a gender. It is true that I love to wear women's clothes, but that is just what it is, I like the clothes. It isn't that I think I am a woman in a man's body. It is also true that I have said in my past profiles that I would prefer to be dressed as a woman all the time. I also have thought about my gender is length because of this. However I have never ever thought that I am transgender or a woman. It is that I just love wearing women's clothes.

If you are thinking this, yes I am ranting because, like always, there are people that are not listening to me and think they really know what I mean or meant to say.

(in reply to theRose4U)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/17/2012 9:48:44 AM

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I read you were going to delete your profile. So you had a change of heart or just not had enough melodrama yet?

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(in reply to YourWyoToy)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/17/2012 10:13:01 AM

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Joined: 8/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourWyoToy
theRose4u, what does the gender identity center of colorado going to do for me about the possible situation I could have found myself in. Nothing I have said in the forums has made anyone else think that I am confused or lost in finding my gender or expressing a gender. It is true that I love to wear women's clothes, but that is just what it is, I like the clothes. It isn't that I think I am a woman in a man's body. It is also true that I have said in my past profiles that I would prefer to be dressed as a woman all the time. I also have thought about my gender is length because of this. However I have never ever thought that I am transgender or a woman. It is that I just love wearing women's clothes.

If you are thinking this, yes I am ranting because, like always, there are people that are not listening to me and think they really know what I mean or meant to say.

Well you've said the exact things that make me go 0 to bitch so here goes:

-recommendation of calling the center is a nice way of getting you to call a therapist that might understand the emotional shit-storm that follows you!!
-dress or no dress this whole "my friend killed themselves" is crap contaiminating anyone that would hope to be kind to you, let alone a relationship
-frankly the TG/CD women I know from there are better than passable & might help you look less like a man in a too small dress

So there ya go!!!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to YourWyoToy)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/17/2012 10:24:55 AM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

Yes I did ask "what if this happens" because in my mind this was a very possible scenario that I didn't know what to do in. Yes it didn't happen and yes she did ask for money when I thought she was going to say that she would be here. Where did I imply that I was looking for people to say she was terrible, or to make me feel better about this situation? All I asked was for what to do if she kept her word, nothing about my ego there. I came here looking for help and now most of what has happened is people dumping on me for a simple request for help.

Oh, quit the crap.

The point is that NOTHING REALLY HAPPENED EXCEPT FOR WHAT WAS INSIDE OF YOUR OWN HEAD.

What is going on in a relationship doesn't necessarily carry over when the relationship is finished. If you understood that, I don't think you would have created this thread.

Do you really want to tell Me that you wouldn't have had that little surge of joy had this woman showed up in your town and really WANTED to see you? That maybe, just maybe, she really did give a fuck about you as a human being, rather than a wallet or some guy who has kinks that aren't universally accepted?

Come on, man! You are a grown adult. You tried to play this little "what if" scenario and there wasn't one shit of it that was reality based. Your problem never really was a "problem" and not everyone here was interested in make believe. Had you been willing to pay her, she might have showed up. Otherwise, she wasn't going to make the effort.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to YourWyoToy)

RE: What should happen with ex-Mistress. - 11/17/2012 10:50:25 AM

Posts: 11
Joined: 7/3/2011
Status: offline

You were not at bitch already?

Anyways, everyone has an "emotional shit-storm" that follows them, and it usually because other people don't like or try to understand the other person. Besides I was looking for advice not emotions. Talking with someone isn't going to make the fact that someone killed themself because of rejection go away. It is something the will always be there. I was no looking for sympathy or anything else by stating this, I just wanted people to be informed about why I was having trouble. I DON'T WANT TO BE PASSABLE, I JUST LIKE WEARING WOMEN'S CLOTHES. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT THAT PEOPLE THINK I LOOK STUPID OR UGLY. If I was searching for help, I would never start in colorado. However I have learned never turn to forums for help, all you get are bitches and cunts.

I did delete my profile, i just didn't delete my account yet.

(in reply to theRose4U)

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