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The first part of your question fits me perfectly. It doesn't depend on the person though. I simply like and enjoy a lot of things. I can also find enjoyment in things I may not like the first time around by looking at it differently. Because of my ability to be flexible in that way, I find many aspects of both sides appealing. I love feeling powerless when someone is beating on me, and I love that sense of power that comes when someone is at my feet.

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This is actually why I became a switch. I started as a sub, and especially as a bottom. My boy is submissive, generally, so I stepped in to fill the role that he desired. It's very helpful for us that he switches too, so all of our desires can be met with each other, as neither of us are big on the public scene or playing with others. That's all general though, I can and have played with others, it just feel different sometimes, if that makes sense.

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My very base love of BDSM is because I'm a masochist/bottom, so when you strip it down, I don't need to lead or follow, as long as I'm getting the beatings I desire. The enjoyment of both sides doesn't derive solely (or even mostly) from leading or following, but the energy that occurs when the dynamic is in place. That energy exists when I'm leading or following, so both work for me.

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This makes sense to me.
When I think about the idea of an activity, like going to see a movie.
I can desire to be humored and then I can want to be frightened.
That is independent of who I'm with.
It's more like being able to enjoy a variety of music or enjoy a variety of food, if I understand properly.

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If you would indulge more questions, please.
In this case.
Do you feel that, in an alternate reality, if you were purely a bottom and he were purely a top.
That you would be a better bottom and he would be a better top?
Or do you feel that you both gain something from the experience of understanding and working with the other side?

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I can kind of see the argument both ways.
You get better at what you practice.
But the understanding of what it is like to be the other person may just be an insight that can't be replaced with practice?

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Starting as a submissive/bottom, what was it like to make the transition to topping initially?
Had you already engaged in that kind of experimentation before?
The first time you took a more dominant role with your boy, what did that feel like?

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I'll counter your question with another: What makes a top/bottom better than another? Would I have a deeper understanding of certain activities? Would I already have learned how to wield/take a bull whip? Who knows? I'd like to think that playing both sides has helped me to better understand myself, the roles I take up when I play, and why. I don't know what that means on a scale of who's "better" at BDSM.

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ORIGINAL: theSwan



. . .

With switches--

Actually no, please read that as..
For you, as I know it is going to be different for many different people.

Is it that your desire is so flexible and sensitive that it can be inspired in radically different directions depending on the person?

Is it that you are passionate about being whatever fits the situation best - Passionate and driven about being the puzzle piece that completes the image?

Is it that you crave the diversity of being sought after for leadership, paired with the contrast of being driven towards service?

Do you have a standing preference as to whether you lead or follow and, if so, what makes holding onto the other 'side' worth it to you?
To be more clear, if you strongly prefer to follow/submit but continue to identify as a switch.
Why? Because you are a gifted leader? Or because the desire to lead, though not as strong, is still a real enough part of your person to require sating?

I would love and be grateful for any insight that you could share with me.
I'm always working to understand people better and I believe that opinions on this subject matter could broaden my understanding.

I do realize that similar questions have been asked and I would like to apologize now if this is a worn out question.

Once again, thank you.