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starskygal -> RE: Is it possible to be a feminist and narcissist sub possible? (12/2/2012 2:54:22 PM)
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ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Water glasses don't have stems, wine glasses do.
I meant a wine glass and water glass with stem, how do you call the water glass with stem? you know? when you set the table you have a red wine glass, white, water and champagne glass (forgive my term ignorance). Holding a red wine glass by the bowl is archaic and wrong, by holding it that way you warm it and ruin it.
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That said, you are not narcassistic, you are just an overcompensating snob. You dismiss men out of some internal insecurity or fear. What was your parents relationship like? What was your relationship like with your father?
No I'm, not and I do not. I am far from snob, is not internal insecurity or fear, is just that I would like someone who knows what I know and can behave properly, I tend to go to a lot of snobish parties and stuff like that (not by choice) so I need someone who can keep up and someone I can look up to and feel proud of, not someone I feel sorry for. Besides table manners are basics of basic, I feel very uncomfortable when they don't know how to set a table, or hold their utensils etc.
My parents relationship is really good, and our relationship is amazing and something to envy.
@Dark Stevenquote:
I believe that you're thinking you might be a bedroom-only sub. (Also known as a bottom.) That's possible - a bedroom sub submits sexually because it gets her wet. Someone who submits outside the bedroom does so out of a desire to please or a wish to hand over full control.
Got it, wonderful!!! thanks I think im more of a bottom then.
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The idea that a sub submit only to her Dominant, and not to the hordes of great unwashed that claim to be Dominant? Makes sense - submission is a serious relationship thing. It's like saying that you shouldn't sleep with everyone who walks up to you and demands sex. Nope, no link.
OOOhh ok ok, got it thanks ;)
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I'm inclined to agree with Michael and CP in their views.
Certainly as far as holding a glass of water is concerned!
It would appear you know nothing much about culture or etiquette except snobbery.
Wrong call, I do know a lot. I am proud and appreciate learning all that since a young age, but I am more of a rebel though table manners are basics. Regarding culture, yes I haven't read every book out there, or newspaper, I don't know by heart every country's history but I do know a lot and reason even more, and what I know so far has been enough for great conversations, especially with older people, I love debating and of course winning. I am one of those who want to know it all, there is always a book on my side bed table, a notebook and a pen in my purse and wikipedia and google on my laptop's home page. Hell I made it to a private college in the US with a full ride for my BA and I got a Fullbright for my masters.
Reason why I look for someone educated and with at least table manners, not just because I want a good debate or interesting conversation but because men tend to feel inferior and intimidated easily.
I'm in Mexico and people here hardly make it to college, those who go to college pay to get in, the ones who go overseas also pay for it, just few of us get a full ride at a respectable institution. I would like someone I admire and respect, especially if we are going to have a sub-dom relationship, I am not sure if I could submit to someone I don't respect or admire. Just for the record, I am not looking for sometone wealthy or anything like that, I am more into sexuality, brains, soul and heart.
@simplymichael quote:
Before we go to far, this woman is fromm Mexico, lower class men are haed working Catholic men, but upper class are bad paradies of machismo. The only ones worse are Persians. Everyone around here is a macho macho super macho. Lower class men usually can't hold a conversation though not all of them and I am always willing to listen but they get intimiated super easy and start with their lies and all that or worse with "(you name it)....because you are a woman " catholics; usually middle upper class, aren't catholics really but they say they are and those are the ones showing off 24/7 and saying bs including "you are a woman" besides are scared of being kinky. Machos are usually horrible machos, no manners, no respect for women, no need to please women. I would love a mexican cowboy but they are extremely macho, I've been with a couple of them but got tired of how they treated me outside of the bedroom and how they always think they are right and lack of manners.
@chatterbox 24 quote:
I think one of the best things that could happen to you is to meet a man who you are totally attracted to, who you admire and respect, and you are denied by him, due to your hypocrisy. He doesnt reward that behavior. But he is also patient with you and genuinely cares for you, and sticks with you. You might benefit from a guide type relationship, and it could humble you some.
I believe this would shake you up some, and you would learn a great deal from it. Even narcissists will bend, but it takes a skilled person with the control of a robot.
Lol, I agree, thanks for that.
@metamorfosis quote:
If I realized someone was judging me based on how I hold a glass of water... I would move on. Me too. Story of my life.
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If you think you are developing a mental disorder, please go to the doctor. They will be able to tell far better than we will. Unless you condemn them out of hand based on how they hold a stethoscope. That was a joke. [:D]
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Other than that I will just say, as a general rule, there's nothing wrong with knowing what you want and don't want. But to be so focused on what you want that you lose sight of all else... that could be a problem, and in more things than just BDSM.
Thanks for that and so true.
@Animux Rex quote:
But what if said gentleman drinks water from a faucet like I do? I drink from a faucet too, doesn't matter where they drink water from as long as they do it properly. That is my point, don't tell me you are a gentleman and educated and with manners and blah blah what most insecure men say, and then post a picture where you clearly don't know how to behave. In fact don't even mention it and if you want to upload the picture just do it but be aware that I will judge you from your pictures, that is what pictures here are for.
@kana quote:
Bwaahahahahahaha
(And it's spelled equality) nit picking much? Thanks though ;)
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Now me, I dunno, I try to think I'm a rational person, albeit somewhat of a sadist. And I don't think that men are better than women, or vice versa. I think both sexes are, like all humans, equally FUBAR.
Which means that I have faults, they have faults, she has faults, you (Gasp) have faults. And that acknowledging that minor fact makes me a more considerate, empathic, accepting human being. As does realizing that in the end, little things like knowing which fork to use at a dinner party are really unimportant, that what matters is character and that all those other minutia are just that, trivial.
I agree, I think I need to work on that then.
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And purely BTW, I've played with and owned lots of feminists slaves and subs. The one has nothing to do with the other.
Good to know, thank you!!! [:D]
Thanks everyone, this is helping me A LOT, no wonder why I haven't found anyone to get this officially started. So I will keep my "feminist" side as it is and my kink as it is and will try to be more real when looking for someone without betraying my beliefs or myself but being more, real lol don't know how to say it, but yeah stop paying atenttion to small details that won't get me or us anywhere. I think I get it but it will take time.
Thank you.
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