i am a new switch can anyone please advise?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

i am a new switch can anyone please advise?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> i am a new switch can anyone please advise?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

i am a new switch can anyone please advise? - 12/3/2012 1:52:18 AM

Rokobilli

Posts: 18
Joined: 3/19/2011
Status: offline

Hello everyone, it is nice to meet you all. i am writing in today to ask for advice on how to be a good switch. i know that there are a lot of different interpretation on what it means to be a good switch and how to serve to the best of your abilities. my main concern lies on how to transition from being a Dominant person to being a submissive person. i do understand that being submissive is something that comes naturally when you find the right partner. Current switches how did you decide that being a switch was what would best suit you. What would you advice to a new switch?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: i am a new switch can anyone please advise? - 12/3/2012 8:50:59 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

Reading your profile you go on & on about being sub & even born to service, yet list as a switch? "Taming you" isn't something of appeal to a Domme...especially with the thousands of un-partnered males subs out there.

For me switch is a label I choose for honesty, not flexibility of sexual options. That man in that relationship got the final word. I was no less dominant, in fact I was a better version of me in charge of a large group of tempermental males. Any Dom coming along with "on your knees bitch" would likely be greeted with a caning & a stiletto to the ass. That one man, it was a natural as breathing to ask his opinions on matters i was unsure of.

Switch label in this life makes people think one of two things, you're a greedy wanker or you're undecided & ripe for picking...neither makes life easy. You are in an active area for kink, getting to a munch is more likely to get real results.

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 12/3/2012 9:03:38 PM >

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Rokobilli)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: i am a new switch can anyone please advise? - 12/4/2012 7:40:58 PM

pumpsara

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline

Being a switch is simply enjoying the full basket of fruit. There is nothing wrong with getting what you want, then returning the favor. There is no rule that says you have to be dom of sub. The only difference in my book is you need to experience both to be worth your weight in salt in either. Any person who claims they have only been one or the other is robbing themselves of a full life. I have been a switch for well over 25 yrs and every man I have ever dated loved it.
I like to get mine first, then have a nice glass of wine and when I do I know I am ready to use his ass like he has never had it used before.
When I am in that sub first mood, it has to be with a man who is romantic and love doing me slow and softly as two lip stick lesbians would. Once he has me in his arms I am putty until I cum. Then its break time, wine and get ready for one hell of a fucking

(in reply to Rokobilli)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: i am a new switch can anyone please advise? - 1/7/2013 11:01:24 PM

EsotericLady

Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline

With all respect to your post the Rose4u, I think you may have read someone else's post (?) because I do not see that the OP has gone on and on about being submissive at all.

As for the word "switch" simply being a label chosen for honesty and not having anything to do with "options?" In choosing the label "Domme," I am not being dishonest about myself nor anyone else.
Personally, I don't feel that calling oneself a "switch" makes one a "greedy wanker" at all. But I DO believe it means you want the best of shall we say "both worlds?"

a

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Reading your profile you go on & on about being sub & even born to service, yet list as a switch? "Taming you" isn't something of appeal to a Domme...especially with the thousands of un-partnered males subs out there.

For me switch is a label I choose for honesty, not flexibility of sexual options.

Switch label in this life makes people think one of two things, you're a greedy wanker or you're undecided & ripe for picking...neither makes life easy.

(in reply to theRose4U)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: i am a new switch can anyone please advise? - 1/7/2013 11:26:38 PM

EsotericLady

Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline

And with all due respect to your post as well, pumpsara...

I believe the first sentence of your post sums up my definition of "switch" as well. And you are correct in saying there is no rule that says you have to be only a Dominant or only a submissive.
As to needing to experience both sides to be good at either, I'm afraid my submissive experience lasted all of 5 minutes when the Dom said "Do this" and I said "You've got to be kidding!" (LMAO)

As for robbing oneself of a "full life" because I can truly make the claim (now) of being ONLY a Dominant, I'm afraid I must differ. In "choosing a side" as it were, I feel I am able to be more focused towards fully reaching my potential as a Dominant. (I have first-hand experience in watching someone else try to go back and forth between the two roles...the end result being one totally stressed out person and two relationships that ended quite badly.)

And because of that, I prefer my partners be strictly submissive as well... although I don't begrudge you your interest.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pumpsara

Being a switch is simply enjoying the full basket of fruit. There is nothing wrong with getting what you want, then returning the favor. There is no rule that says you have to be dom of sub. The only difference in my book is you need to experience both to be worth your weight in salt in either. Any person who claims they have only been one or the other is robbing themselves of a full life. I have been a switch for well over 25 yrs and every man I have ever dated loved it.

(in reply to pumpsara)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: i am a new switch can anyone please advise? - 1/13/2013 5:39:59 PM

cocomistress

Posts: 13
Joined: 12/31/2012
Status: offline

No such thing as a good or bad switch.

It's all about doing what feels comfortable.

(in reply to Rokobilli)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: i am a new switch can anyone please advise? - 1/13/2013 5:56:09 PM

Dreadmath

Posts: 144
Joined: 1/10/2013
Status: offline

Be a MOSFET switch because BJTs annoy me greatly. No seriously, BDSM is simply an alternative lifestyle that in its core encompasses some form of power/control exchange spiced with non-vanilla sexual activities. As long as you know what range of activities you are into and how deep you want to go, you are doing it the right way.

(in reply to cocomistress)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: i am a new switch can anyone please advise? - 2/12/2013 12:34:17 PM

mambalev

Posts: 17
Joined: 2/4/2013
Status: offline

i didn't decide that being a swith was best for me, its just the way i am, sometimes i want to be the one in controle, and other times i want to give up controle compleatly, as long as you and what ever partners you might have are enjoying the play your having, who cares what you call yourselves

(in reply to Dreadmath)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: i am a new switch can anyone please advise? - 2/12/2013 12:39:56 PM

leonine

Posts: 409
Joined: 11/3/2009
From: [email protected]
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

Switch label in this life makes people think one of two things, you're a greedy wanker or you're undecided & ripe for picking...

You reckon?

I've been this way for 50 years so I guess I must be really bad at making my mind up... shame nobody's "picked" me, I've done most of the picking.

Then again... greedy wanker? Well, all my subs have agreed on the "greedy" bit, and I don't see anything wrong with rolling my own when I can't get readymades, so I guess I'll hold my hand up to that.

< Message edited by leonine -- 2/12/2013 12:43:18 PM >

_____________________________

Leo9

Gonna pack in my hand, pick up on a piece of land and build myself a cabin in the woods.
It's there I'm gonna stay, until there comes a day when this old world starts a-changing for the good.
- James Taylor

(in reply to theRose4U)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: i am a new switch can anyone please advise? - 3/7/2013 3:58:54 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rokobilli

Hello everyone, it is nice to meet you all. i am writing in today to ask for advice on how to be a good switch. i know that there are a lot of different interpretation on what it means to be a good switch and how to serve to the best of your abilities. my main concern lies on how to transition from being a Dominant person to being a submissive person. i do understand that being submissive is something that comes naturally when you find the right partner. Current switches how did you decide that being a switch was what would best suit you. What would you advice to a new switch?

First thing I'd recommend is paragraphs.

Second, capitalize the first letter of each sentence.

Thirdly I'd suggest....be who you are.

If ya ain't....you ain't....if ya is...ya is....

And THAT my friend, is where it all is, and it don't matter what you or others think.

Ya either is....or ya ain't.

(Take it from there).

(in reply to Rokobilli)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: i am a new switch can anyone please advise? - 6/15/2013 6:00:28 AM

Airlia

Posts: 42
Joined: 12/9/2012
Status: offline

Personally, I clarify myself a switch because it often depends on my company. I'm currently with a switch as well and surprisingly, the switch from Dominant to Submissive is fairly easy for him. At first he clarified himself as a dominant but seeing how I enjoyed taking initiative at times in the relationship, he did give me that option to dabble into. From what I have noticed, at first sign of your partner being dominant, either commencing a moment or acting more forceful that usual, the best way to delve into submission is by appraising her. Tell her the things that she enjoys hearing, be appreciative towards her and allow her to take the reigns of your actions. At first, submission is all mental. If you are not willing to accept what she offers, most likely submitting will be difficult. It takes a lot of trust.

I found out that the term 'switch' described me well because on a regular basis in day to day things I showed a lot of dominance in my structure, composure and persona. I had gone into a relationship with a male submissive and since altering his services as a top was something very difficult for him, I decided to take the lead. I found out that at times I really did enjoy it although my preference was towards submission (though obviously being very selective of who I would be with). There was an excitement in deciding who would hold more of the power stance and that rivalry often claimed a victor. It was fun and changed at different occasions.

What I suggest to any switch is that you keep reluctance in the storage area, because that is often what deprives people of submitting or dominating. Try new options and see what it is you may like.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Profile

Post #: 11