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thegreatetienne -> Hi! (12/4/2012 2:16:57 PM)
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Wow...Well, let me start here. Hi - I'm really new at this. I'm not even sure if I belong in this because from the conversation I just had with two people on video chat - it made me feel like I'm fucked up. I'm definately a sadist. I enjoy reading about pain on others. I like to inflict pain on others. It doesn't really get me off physically, it is mostly mental. Though, I have been kind of exploring online with another person. I'm not sure if it is classified bdsm because its different. I'm in the position of being a domme or more as a 'therapist' and my sub likes to be bound when he is erect. He likes to react to different characters, so to speak. Anyway, the point of it is, with these different session, I do feel myself getting aroused at his helplessness and I find glee that I can get him erect without even touching. Or maybe I'm just taking this way too seriously, I don't know.
From what I can tell with myself, I identify more with switches...because I am sub but I like to be in control, also. I'm really enjoying the therapist role with the online guy but I love to please, make the other person happy, etc.
So, that's me in a nutshell for right now - I don't know what else to post. The reason why I feel maybe I'm just fucked up in the head is because I'm kind of obsessed with the holocaust and I swear I was a SS gaurd/solider because of how excited reading about the torture excites my mind. Fucked up or bdsm......?
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