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have some questions - 12/11/2012 8:51:10 PM

tidbit5021

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/26/2012
Status: offline

Hi,

I've posted once in this section but as I'm getting to know this site, I'm starting to have more questions and I'm not sure where to post them. Any advice would be welcome. I think I'm best described as between a bottom and a sub and I recently relocated to a small city. I have 2 jobs where having my preferences known could be a problem. I have never been to a munch or other type of community gathering. Given that I need to stay rather "closeted" would folks recommend that I attend a function or not?

Please note, I do not doubt the ability of those in the community to discreet, it is more a question of the location of the munches themselves and the chance of vanilla people seeing me there.

My other question is about the nuances of bottom/sub/slave designations. I've read many definitions of these labels and I'm finding it difficult to figure out just where I may fall in the spectrum. Which forum would you all suggest for my questions related to this? "Ask a sub/slave?" Or another one? I do not want to offend anyone.

Thanks!

Tidbit

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RE: have some questions - 12/11/2012 9:07:15 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Hi there! Welcome!

We're really not that frightening. Honest!

Munches are kinky people looking and talking boring. If a vanilla were to see you there, he'd have no reason to think there was anything kinky going on. Chances are far greater you'd be bored silly than outed. That said, in the greater Denver Metro area, there are munches in Denver, Boulder, and Longmont, so you can get out of town if you;re still concerned.

The distinctions between bottom/sub/slave are, to understate things, not universally agreed upon. Everyone knows that a slave is more submissive than a sub, but everyone disagrees on where the demarcation point is. My definition of a bottom is someone who likes to submit in the bedroom only, while a sub/slave has a desire to serve and please outside the bedroom.

The individual forums' distinctions is similarly fuzzy. Ask your questions in the Ask a Sub/Slave if you're addressing your peers, and Ask a Master if you're addressing Doms. But there's a lot of fluidity.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to tidbit5021)

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RE: have some questions - 12/11/2012 11:32:16 PM

Nelee

Posts: 205
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline

Also, to add to DarkSteven's point, since Munch's are so "boring" and normal looking to the outside, no vanilla folks would assume you were doing anything but having a meal and a chat with mates.
If you fear that someone from a munch will out you, don't worry about it. If they were to out you, they would be ostracized from the community, and I doubt if anyone is out to get you that much!

Have fun getting to know the community and yourself! It's a pretty cool community here