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RE: Personal code of conduct. - 12/31/2012 3:32:57 AM

myotherself

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I work in an inner city school in a very deprived area.

I thought I knew about people before I went there - boy, was I wrong!

This has changed my own personal code of ethics.

Try not to judge by initial appearance/actions. Some people grow up surrounded by poverty, violence, addiction and rage. It takes time to break through the protective barriers to reach the real person within. Take that time.

Try to be a good example - behave how I would like others to behave.

Make a positive difference - if only one person's life is brightened or made easier by me being there, then all is good.

Be the kind of person that others look forward to being with.

Be honest without being cruel or judgemental.

There are more, but these are the main ones.

Edit for typo

< Message edited by myotherself -- 12/31/2012 3:35:41 AM >

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RE: Personal code of conduct. - 12/31/2012 3:50:48 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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I suppose I do have a code of conduct but it's far too personal and complex to summarise in writing.

In general, I like to look back on my own actions and ask myself if I did the best I could with a situation. Did I do my best to balance everyone's needs and wishes? Did I try to minimize harm? Did I set a good example? Was I the bigger person? Could I have acted with more kindness, or less selfishness? What would I say to my child if she behaved like I did? How would I feel if someone acted like that towards my grandparents? On balance, did I make the world a little better? If I'm happy with the answers, I know I've done OK. There's always a lesson to be taken away from most things.

When I mess up, I take responsibility, I apologise, and I look at how I can fix it.

I try to focus less on the outcomes of the situation and more on the processes that went on. I've had to deal with some things that had no possible 'good' outcome, and I have a tendency to beat myself up, so I'm trying to teach myself to accept that as long as I am the best I can be, and as long as the best is always improving, that's enough.

And since the title was about conduct and not ethics, I also have a policy of trying to squeeze as much into life as I can. I don't think anyone lies on their death bed and thinks 'I wish I watched more TV'. I try to push myself to try new activities, taste new food, go to new places etc. I don't believe in any kind of afterlife or maker, but I do believe I'll have myself to answer to in my dying moments and I want to know I've not wasted my time here. "But at my back I always hear/Time's winged chariot hurrying near"

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RE: Personal code of conduct. - 12/31/2012 4:50:22 AM

crazyml

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Like the topic.

And really enjoyed the responses.

I'm a mix of the above really.

My goal in life is to leave the world in a better state than it was when I arrived, and to provide my children with the best start possible.

I suppose it boils down, day to day, to "do the best you can to do the best thing you can".

I think Kirata's quotation is superb (and I've never seen it before). I think to live your life in a way that you'd be able to stand by your deeds is a good start.

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RE: Personal code of conduct. - 12/31/2012 5:36:59 AM

LaTigresse

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To boil mine down to it's purest form.........personal responsibility. For better or worse, owning my own shit.

Like LadyP, I am always harder on myself than others. Either than I am with others, or than others will be with me.

Also, like Kaliko, I do my level best to avoid placing my expectations on others. We all have our own road to follow. What is right for me may be the exact opposite for someone else. It is not my place to pass judgement on someone else's choices. Especially if they do not have any affect on me or mine.

Another that I am still struggling with is creating boundaries, with me, for the people around me. Not accepting the responsibility they need to take upon themselves. My sense of responsibility has allowed others to waffle in their own.

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RE: Personal code of conduct. - 12/31/2012 6:00:30 AM

lovethyself

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I try to learn from the asshats in my past. See what they did, and try to do the opposite. To not let the past hardships make me jaded, but rather let me understand the world so I can help make it better, even if it's only a small corner of it. To share my past with people, even when it's hard to relive it, if it will help someone else make it through. Owning my past mistakes, and knowing that I am strong enough to rise up past them to become a better, stronger, more compassionate person.

And always, always being there for friends and family.

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RE: Personal code of conduct. - 12/31/2012 6:49:27 AM

theshytype

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I have many. Most of them fall into the do onto others...

Try not to judge others by their actions. I don't know anyone well enough to know what's going on in their minds or lives fully to decipher the reasoning behind someone's actions. If I'm stressed or upset, I hide it from others so they may too.
I try not to judge anyone at all, but do make quick conclusions as to whether or not I like someone. That's just personal preference.

Never make a promise I don't know I can keep. I understand disappointment is a fact of life, but why not avoid it if possible. My kids hate it, but they know when I do make a promise that I will keep it.

Enjoy the little things. There may be a time when they're not around, or I am unable to enjoy them. During a road trip, I appreciate the landscape. A recent trip I took, I noticed how beautiful the state of Iowa is (and saw two Bald Eagles). I do stop to smell the flowers. I still watch butterflies float around. And I still make pictures out of clouds. The small things are what we usually remember and enjoy the most.

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Post #: 26