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Temp1010 -> "I Open At The Close" (1/2/2013 3:45:14 AM)
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I went back and forth with posting this here or in the creative writing section.
However this is my true account with a member here.
So I hope this is an acceptable post.
Sorry I dragged this out.
But I do not think it would be fair to be brief on details.
12/31/2012
Around 7pm.
I'm walking with Miss Asylum's boyfriend to her 5th art showing.
It's the 1st one I've been to.
The collection is based off songs that inspired her.
Miss Asylum says she can see songs.
I really thought she was secretly partaking in acid.
Miss Asylum's boyfriend sees a few people he knows.
I really don't care to meet new people today.
It was supposed to be a New Year's resolution to be more social.
I resolute that I'll try in 2014.
Maybe.
I hid behind Miss Asylum's boyfriend for the majority of the conversation which isn't hard because he looks like he should be playing professional football.
He gave me a look of mild disappointment.
I know why.
We walked over to a painting.
He placed his hand over the title card before I got a look.
"Guess what song this is."
I look at the painting.
Gold background.
Staggering but straight black lines on the bottom and top.
I got nothing.
We move on.
Next painting.
He did the same thing again with telling me to actually try to guess this time.
Alternating black and white lines.
6 green lines in the center crossing over the black and white ones.
On the far right and left are two red shapes, which appear to be upside down tear drops.
Again I get nothing.
"You've heard this before"
At first I feel like telling him that doesn't help because I have my iPod on all day at work.
Then it strikes me.
Hard.
I'm not sure what hit me first.
Was it the separated heart?
Was it the green lines which were actually arrows pointing to them?
Maybe 3 weeks ago I was out shopping with Miss Asylum.
I was in a store looking for a gift for my brother when the song "Too Close" by Alex Clare starting playing.
I love that song and said so aloud.
Miss Asylum said it was not surprising since the lyrics sound like the were written from my point of view.
She's right.
I'm shy. I can be timid. I get close to a person and then try to find a reason to leave.
Intimacy of any sort scares me.
By this time, maybe a minute has passed.
"You get it, don't you?"
I don't know why Miss Asylum's boyfriend felt the need to even ask at this point.
We stayed around until close which was around 10.
Quite a few of the painting were gone or propped up against the bottom of the wall.
Its freezing outside and Miss Asylum's boyfriend went to get his car from the garage.
A few people were left.
Most had headed home or to bars to do whatever it is people do on New Years eve.
Miss Asylum was turning a light off that was hanging over a painting that didn't sell.
I don't know what told me to do it.
I wrapped my arms around her from the back.
I held her.
Being so short I'm not sure how she knew it was me.
She put her hands over mine like she was accepting the hug back.
We said nothing.
I don't think anything needed to be said.
I had let her go.
Still not saying anything.
I realized I am not in love but there is a love here.
Miss Asylum for whatever reason is supposed to be in my life.
I felt exposed.
It was a relief.
I can move forward with her.
My actual resolution for this year: live for once and know that its's ok to do it.
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