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what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/8/2013 9:58:15 PM

MsLadyV

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Hello I have a question, I'm curious as to how do you approach a person about their health status? Would you find it disrespectful if you asked your potential partner to go get an HIV and STD test on the spot?

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/8/2013 10:15:30 PM

MsPauleyBelle

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I think it is the responsible thing to do. I find the direct approach is best. Ask when their last test was done and if they use condomns everytime. Make a date out of getting tested together. Remember tests can be wrong, so always use protection even if both test negative.

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/9/2013 12:05:40 AM

littlewonder

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I had an std test done maybe around our third date. By then we knew we wanted to continue to see each other. I just went down to the local health department and it took all of 15 minutes and th results back two days later.

Personally I feel that even if you're single, haven't been seeing anyone but yet fucking others or have in a year or less then you should get it done. It's not like it's a difficult thing or costs much. You can got to any health department office and get one for free depending on your insurance or how much you make. I think I paid $10 for mine.

Master had no problem asking me and I didn't find it rude. I found it practical and I was glad he asked me to get one.

I know some people feel insulted by it but I can't understand why. It's just a tiny little test and even if you are not going to fuck someone, you should get it done just for peace of mind.

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/9/2013 2:20:01 AM

TNDommeK

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This^.
I wouldn't find it rude at all. I think I would be relieved if someone asked Me. That way I know they don't have a problem taking a test either. Because I sure as heck am going to make sure both of us have one. Now a days it's just the smart thing to do.

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/9/2013 9:02:00 AM

MariaB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

This^.
I wouldn't find it rude at all. I think I would be relieved if someone asked Me. That way I know they don't have a problem taking a test either. Because I sure as heck am going to make sure both of us have one. Now a days it's just the smart thing to do.

This ^
And the bolded bit is the important part.
Anyone who tells you they recently had a test and everything was clear, even if they produce the paperwork to prove it, is a risk because they may of had unprotected sex since the test or they may of been tested too soon after exposure.
Keep in mind that STD's all have a window before they show up on a test. HIV is 3 months for an accurate test result but occasionally someone won't produce antibodies for six months. If you go to the clinic with your new partner before 3 months you need to ask for an 'early detection test' but I highly recommend you go back after 3 months and get re-tested.

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/9/2013 9:06:26 AM

fucktoyprincess

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I had an std test done maybe around our third date. By then we knew we wanted to continue to see each other. I just went down to the local health department and it took all of 15 minutes and th results back two days later.

Personally I feel that even if you're single, haven't been seeing anyone but yet fucking others or have in a year or less then you should get it done. It's not like it's a difficult thing or costs much. You can got to any health department office and get one for free depending on your insurance or how much you make. I think I paid $10 for mine.

Master had no problem asking me and I didn't find it rude. I found it practical and I was glad he asked me to get one.

I know some people feel insulted by it but I can't understand why. It's just a tiny little test and even if you are not going to fuck someone, you should get it done just for peace of mind.

Completely agree with this. In this day and age, with all the information that medical science has on these issues, I think people should not be offended to ask someone to be tested or take these tests. People in the medical/testing field are always been 100% professional about this kind of thing. No one is ever going to pry about why one might need the tests. And if anything turns up, most stds are actually completely treatable and can lead to worse health problems if ignored. So it seems to me that it is a win-win for everyone to start with a clear understanding of their std health.

If anything, I am shocked by the fact that more people do not ask these questions and make these demands on potential partners.

We are still, as a society, and even on this site, so ashamed of things having to do with sex. Funny in a way.

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/9/2013 10:08:36 AM

TNDommeK

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.

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 1/9/2013 10:09:22 AM >

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/9/2013 7:08:23 PM

Moonlightmaddnes

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Yes you should since some things take years to show up. A friend went to a regular pap smear and came up positive for sexually transmitted HPV. She knew she was not sleeping around since getting married several years earlier. It was ugly she was sure he was cheating on her and gave it to her. She nearly left him while he swore up and down there was no one else but she thought the fact she had an STD was proof he was. Later the doctor told her she had it for years and it can take over 10 years to show up. She ended up feeling awful for accusing her husband of cheating, being a liar and nearly leaving him over something she picked up before they were ever married.

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/10/2013 3:45:19 AM

MariaB

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Symptoms can take years to show up but most people will show positive on an antibody test six months after infection.

I know someone who is involved in BDSM porn shoots that include full penetrative unprotected sex. All of them within the group have to be tested every 2 weeks. Its a ridiculously unsafe method of staying clean. It only takes one to be infected and show up no antibodies to infect every one of them and depending what the STD is, that could be months.

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/10/2013 5:15:30 AM

lizi

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You might try broaching the conversation from the standpoint that you offer first- say that you'll be going to your dr by the end of the week for HIV and STD tests and that you'll share the results. Then wait for him/her to offer. If he/she doesn't offer, would you even want to get naked with them?

(in reply to MsLadyV)

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/10/2013 9:35:10 AM

TimeLimited

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MariaB - thank you for your comments. I was aware of an incubation period for any bug, but I was not aware it could be as long as you reported.

I've been blessed not to have gone thru such a health issue. I have limited my play partners for a variety of reasons. When playing, I don't always do things that put either of us at this kind of risk. I have always used some kind of barrier ... either a condom or rubber gloves changed after each activity that could be risky.

Original question. I have no problem asking for nor complying with these tests. My last physical, I asked for them, but was not happy that the doctor failed to test for everything.

< Message edited by TimeLimited -- 1/10/2013 9:38:00 AM >

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/10/2013 10:59:40 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadyV
Hello I have a question, I'm curious as to how do you approach a person about their health status? Would you find it disrespectful if you asked your potential partner to go get an HIV and STD test on the spot?

Nope. I totally would not find it at all disrespectful. My submissive and I both got STD tests before we ever got sexual with each other. My play partner and I did the same. In each instance, I matter of factly said "We're both getting STD tests, hop in the car." So they did. lol

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/11/2013 3:16:12 AM

LafayetteLady

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Not sure what you mean by "on the spot." If you mean when you first meet them, say hello and then ask, I would say no. If you two are interested in each other and want to progress further, then yes, bring it up. It isn't disrespectful at all.

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/11/2013 4:48:39 AM

ServosCor

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I think it's like the old saying says: You can never be too careful.

After all, this is you, your health and your life we are talking about.

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/11/2013 9:23:47 AM

Moonlightmaddnes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

You might try broaching the conversation from the standpoint that you offer first- say that you'll be going to your dr by the end of the week for HIV and STD tests and that you'll share the results. Then wait for him/her to offer. If he/she doesn't offer, would you even want to get naked with them?

I have seen people who love unprotected sex with strangers and as many as they can get. I cringe and try not to look horrified. Not at their activity but thinking about incurable possibly deadly STDs they may be getting then passing along.

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/18/2013 4:30:25 PM

EsotericLady

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You ask them for written proof showing that they have been tested, and what the results were.
If they have no proof, then you instruct them that nothing happens until they do.

And then you show them YOUR proof.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadyV

Hello I have a question, I'm curious as to how do you approach a person about their health status? Would you find it disrespectful if you asked your potential partner to go get an HIV and STD test on the spot?

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/18/2013 4:53:12 PM

Desdemmonna

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Before I start anything serious I show my latest lab results.
I expect the same from all my partners

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/18/2013 9:48:42 PM

PrincessDonna11

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I do not have intimte moments with anyone that has not got a health exam WHILE I WAS WITH THEM AT THE CLINIC AND THEY GIVE ME PERMISSION (RELEASE OF INFO) TO SEE THE RESULTS. If they are not willing to do that its a wrap

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 1/21/2013 10:14:20 PM

NuevaVida

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I told him my annual appointment was coming up and I'd be getting tested, and asked if he's been recently tested? He said no, but he will.

Then we each got tested, trusted each others answers, and moved forward. We tested again...hmm...6 months to a year later, I can't remember now.

I didn't feel disrespectful at all about asking him, nor did he feel disrespected.

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RE: what are your thoughts in this concern? - 2/19/2013 10:03:04 AM

MommySparkles

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I'm completely celibate and find intamacy disgusting so I know I don't have it. If people try to have that with me I tell them its not consenting and if they touch me in any inappropriate way I scream Rape so that keeps me away from things such as STD's and AIDS.

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