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RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 2:51:49 PM   
Hillwilliam


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quote:

ORIGINAL: blacksword404


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

The problem is that no matter what someone puts as a primary photo, I can about guarantee that there is someone somewhere who is deathly afraid of it.

I sympathize with your problem but you can't expect the entire world to change because of your phobias.


In today's society why can't he?

He can ask but not realistically expect.

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RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 2:59:21 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: emeraldgryphon

I am an arachnophobe, a rather high-alarm one, and I received a rather frightening shock when I came on one day and the profile that popped up had a picture of a large, in your face tarantula. I damn near chucked my laptop across the room in fight or flight reaction, and I had to take several minutes to calm down after the shock.

I proceeded to contact the person, and explained what had happened, and very respectfully asked/suggested that they please change the picture - not just for my sake, but for anyone else that happened to be surprised by it that happened to be an arachnophobe, or even worse, that happened to be such with a heart condition.

I was responded to with a very flippant attitude that they were glad to see that they had a form of control over me, that they had frightened me, and that it had made their day. This is a highly irresponsible attitude to have, and seeing no other recourse I reported them for the picture.

What I was told was that I could simply use the Hide User function so I could not see the giant tarantula, but that solution doesn't prevent the picture from doing the same to someone else. Now the chances of someone seeing this picture that is a high alarm arachnophobe that also has a heart condition is rather low, but if it were to occur then none of us would ever know, as the person would likely pass away at their computer as a silent victim.

Personally I have a problem with anyone continuing to pose such a problem especially after they have been made aware that their actions could cause a serious detriment to someone else. Such an attitude shows a complete lack of regard for others, and a lack of morals and ethics in my opinion.


There is a person I know that is terrified of bridges and cannot drive over a bridge. She has to have someone else drive and get down on the floorboards of the car to make the passage. Should everyone not post pictures of bridges? On the flip side I"ve seen several of your posts on enemas, you also have journal entries. It's not an activity that beckons me, but you have quite the enthusiasm for it. Should I presume to ask you to remove your writing on the subject? I understand we are talking about pictures and not words in what you object to with spiders, but you have to understand that somewhere someone has an intense fear of the enema bag and would find your public writing on it to be equally as horrifying.

You can't possibly sanitize the world enough so that everyone perfectly comfortable at all times, and quite honestly that sanitization interferes with basic rights of personal expression. It's unfortunate that the person with the spider picture wasn't receptive to you wanting it removed and really, he/she didn't have to be. I'd also defend you if someone wanted you to remove your writing on enemas because they didn't like dwelling on a subject that deals with excrement.


(in reply to emeraldgryphon)
Profile   Post #: 182
RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 3:16:40 PM   
emeraldgryphon


Posts: 122
Joined: 6/29/2007
Status: offline 		There is a great difference between a story and a picture : in the case of my stories there is no reasonable assumption of immediate fright and shock, as there is with a picture. If someone doesn't want to read such, there are far more than enough context clues to allow them to cease reading. In the case of the picture in question, it popped up completely without warning, as I said. An arachnophobe with a weak heart could likely die from a cardiac arrest brought on by the shock.

I am not discussing a dislike of something, I am talking about a high alarm violent reaction to a trigger event. It takes less than a tenth of a second for the brain to process and recognize visual stimuli, and there is simply no chance to look away when surprised. Our brain cannot differentiate between the picture and the real thing in the initial reaction. The fight or flight adrenaline rush can trigger cardiac arrest in people with weak hearts.

< Message edited by emeraldgryphon -- 1/14/2013 3:36:00 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 183
RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 3:43:44 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: emeraldgryphon

I am an arachnophobe, a rather high-alarm one, and I received a rather frightening shock when I came on one day and the profile that popped up had a picture of a large, in your face tarantula. I damn near chucked my laptop across the room in fight or flight reaction, and I had to take several minutes to calm down after the shock.

I proceeded to contact the person, and explained what had happened, and very respectfully asked/suggested that they please change the picture - not just for my sake, but for anyone else that happened to be surprised by it that happened to be an arachnophobe, or even worse, that happened to be such with a heart condition.

I was responded to with a very flippant attitude that they were glad to see that they had a form of control over me, that they had frightened me, and that it had made their day. This is a highly irresponsible attitude to have, and seeing no other recourse I reported them for the picture.

What I was told was that I could simply use the Hide User function so I could not see the giant tarantula, but that solution doesn't prevent the picture from doing the same to someone else. Now the chances of someone seeing this picture that is a high alarm arachnophobe that also has a heart condition is rather low, but if it were to occur then none of us would ever know, as the person would likely pass away at their computer as a silent victim.

Personally I have a problem with anyone continuing to pose such a problem especially after they have been made aware that their actions could cause a serious detriment to someone else. Such an attitude shows a complete lack of regard for others, and a lack of morals and ethics in my opinion.
So, basically, you reported somebody for a picture that was perfectly within what the site finds acceptable? What would your stance be on the morals and ethics of somebody abusing the system for their own personal agenda?



_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to emeraldgryphon)
Profile   Post #: 184
RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 3:52:02 PM   
emeraldgryphon


Posts: 122
Joined: 6/29/2007
Status: offline 		Technically, yes. But if you compare the restriction on no explicit primary photos to the idea that posting a trigger to someone's phobia (a common and highly reactive phobia, no less) is somehow alright, then this suggests that the problem lies with the site rules, not with the person who cannot help their phobia. It's a little like blaming the female for getting raped.

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Profile   Post #: 185
RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 4:00:12 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		Unfortunately those people with the weak hearts will then die. It is not possible to sanitize the world of every trigger out there for people with strong phobias and weak hearts. It is your choice to be on this site, you have to accept then that people may use their rights of personal expression to post pictures of spiders, just as my friend has to accept there will be a bridge picture here and there. Our world is full of visual noise, it isn't possible to be politically correct in every image that is posted, in every medium. The world at large cannot possibly be sensitive to the plight of every single person out there with a high alarm violent reaction and it's not required to be.

In some cases, there are no differences to people with strong phobias between reading words and seeing pictures, they both trigger strong reactions. A visceral reaction is provoked by a mental picture, it doesn't matter if you see it or imagine it from a description or word. The sensory nerve circuits that trigger the sympathetic autonomic nervous system are the same no matter where the event originates, in sight or word cognition.

I am not speaking of a strong dislike for something either, you have never run into anyone who is horrified by an enema or the act of defecating? If not, be assured that it's out there. As Hillwilliam said, there is someone out there that is absolutely terrified by just about anything that exists. You can't rid the world of all of these things. It's unfortunate that you have this reaction, its unfortunate that you ran into a spider picture. It won't be the last time, I hope things work out for you.

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Profile   Post #: 186
RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 4:06:39 PM   
TAFKAA


Posts: 382
Joined: 1/5/2013
Status: offline
quote:

So, basically, you reported somebody for a picture that was perfectly within what the site finds acceptable? What would your stance be on the morals and ethics of somebody abusing the system for their own personal agenda?


What? You mean like what's happening in the forums currently?

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Profile   Post #: 187
RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 4:19:26 PM   
emeraldgryphon


Posts: 122
Joined: 6/29/2007
Status: offline 		As I said, it takes conscious effort to continue reading a story - the context clues allow the reader to see what is coming and to stop reading long before the trigger event. The point is that a visual image is far more commonly a trigger than groups of words can be. Choosing to continue posting such an image as a primary photo when you know you are deliberately affecting other people, possibly to their detriment, is not the choice of an ethical or moral person.

I solved the problem for myself - as I said I used the Block User function. The question is whether we have reported someone on this site - for me the answer is yes, and my rationale is a valid one, regardless of whether the admins choose to comprehend that it is such.

(in reply to TAFKAA)
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RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 4:24:29 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: emeraldgryphon

Technically, yes. But if you compare the restriction on no explicit primary photos to the idea that posting a trigger to someone's phobia (a common and highly reactive phobia, no less) is somehow alright, then this suggests that the problem lies with the site rules, not with the person who cannot help their phobia. It's a little like blaming the female for getting raped.
I can't believe the analogy in that last sentence was even used. How about we get this back to something a little closer to the reality?

The site does say that no explicit nudity can be used as a primary pic. It doesn't say that people can't post a pic of a snake because some people are deathly afraid of those. They don't say no needle pics because some people are afraid of the sight of needles. When you clicked that little "I agree" button when it asked if you accepted ToS, it means you also agreed to that nice part about users uploading pics to express themselves as long as the content was acceptable according to the site's policy. That means you accepted the possibility of somebody posting a pic of a spider whether you have outrageous reactions or not.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 189
RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 4:25:58 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I sympathize with your problem but you can't expect the entire world to change because of your phobias.


Don't know if you have heard of geocaching but if not it is a sport where people hide caches with log books , cameras, and trinkets among other types and coordinates are posted on the site. You download and search for the Caches with a GPS and log your adventure in the log and online and perhaps add a trinket to the cache. Great family game for adults and kids.

Some years ago I was quite a well known for creative caches. Some were extreme caches that were dangerous.

One Halloween in a wilderness area I placed a special cache that emeraldgryphon would not have appreciated. I constructed a very convincing spider that was 8 feet across with pantyhose legs filled with stuffing. I attached it 30 feet up in a huge oak tree so it had a direct fall to the cache placement but was hidden from casual view unless you looked straight up... No one ever saw it before the surprise. The cache was an ammo box between two heavy rocks and a heavy rock slab on top. A wire was attached to the back of the cache that ran to a pin in a ring to a line attached to the spider through a pulley.

When the cache was pulled from between the rocks the 8 foot spider fell on their heads. It would stop so just the legs would hit the cachers. A detailed set of instructions were included in the cache as to how to reset it and a set of coords for a location they could go to and watch the next cachers get their surprise.

It was the most popular cache up to that point… Hundreds visited it and many would come just to watch the reactions… grown men would scream just as loud as the ladies. I did not get one complaint but I must admit I never thought of someone with a phobia.

Butch

< Message edited by kdsub -- 1/14/2013 4:59:54 PM >

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RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 4:28:12 PM   
blacksword404


Posts: 2068
Joined: 1/4/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: emeraldgryphon

Technically, yes. But if you compare the restriction on no explicit primary photos to the idea that posting a trigger to someone's phobia (a common and highly reactive phobia, no less) is somehow alright, then this suggests that the problem lies with the site rules, not with the person who cannot help their phobia. It's a little like blaming the female for getting raped.
I can't believe the analogy in that last sentence was even used. How about we get this back to something a little closer to the reality?

The site does say that no explicit nudity can be used as a primary pic. It doesn't say that people can't post a pic of a snake because some people are deathly afraid of those. They don't say no needle pics because some people are afraid of the sight of needles. When you clicked that little "I agree" button when it asked if you accepted ToS, it means you also agreed to that nice part about users uploading pics to express themselves as long as the content was acceptable according to the site's policy. That means you accepted the possibility of somebody posting a pic of a spider whether you have outrageous reactions or not.




If he's looking at profiles he has the option of having the pics shown or just having it in list form. Which doesn't show any pictures.


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RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 4:38:16 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		I'm about to post a huge ass pic of a spider.

Just sayin.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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Profile   Post #: 192
RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 4:40:57 PM   
emeraldgryphon


Posts: 122
Joined: 6/29/2007
Status: offline 		Ok, so the person with the phobia, as illogical as the phobia may be, should then be the one who has to restrict their own privileges so as not to accidentally view a trigger picture? The first time is one thing - but after you make the person aware of what their actions may cause, then it seems to be a moral and ethical question, as well as a admin question. If there was a whole roomful of people socializing, and getting along peaceably for the most part, and one person walked in and started popping a spider, snake, etc. on people unawares, how long would it take before that person was ejected? Who would you blame for the situation? The phobic or the person causing the trigger event?

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Profile   Post #: 193
RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 4:43:58 PM   
emeraldgryphon


Posts: 122
Joined: 6/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I'm about to post a huge ass pic of a spider.

Just sayin.



So what you are actually saying is that you are deliberately choosing to trigger my phobia so that I will no longer be able to debate on this forum, since it is apparent you realize what you are doing to me.

That is targeted harassment, the same as deliberately walking up to a person and shoving a spider in their face.

Assuming you're not just being sarcastic, in which case I can appreciate the sarcasm, but not the implied threat.

< Message edited by emeraldgryphon -- 1/14/2013 4:46:29 PM >

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RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 4:45:36 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I'm about to post a huge ass pic of a spider.

Just sayin.



NOOoOoOoOoOOOoOOO!!!!!!!!

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Profile   Post #: 195
RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 4:46:46 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: emeraldgryphon

If there was a whole roomful of people socializing, and getting along peaceably for the most part, and one person walked in and started popping a spider, snake, etc. on people unawares, how long would it take before that person was ejected? Who would you blame for the situation? The phobic or the person causing the trigger event?



Not to mention Hilly's big white cock showing up all willy-nilly-like all over the boards.


If we were a group of people sitting around a table talking, yes...it would be odd for someone to take a spider out of their pocket and put it on the table. But this site is loaded with avatars of all kinds. Keep it in context. There are avatars worthy of the title "trigger event" by the dozens here.

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Profile   Post #: 196
RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 4:48:04 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		What about a pic of Spider-Man then ?

I wouldn't try to freak you out on purpose, but if I had a spider as an avatar, I wouldn't change it.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to emeraldgryphon)
Profile   Post #: 197
RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 4:50:01 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK


quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

I'm about to post a huge ass pic of a spider.

Just sayin.



NOOoOoOoOoOOOoOOO!!!!!!!!


Let's hope like hell he doesn't go to the Train Wreck thread...



_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 198
RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 4:50:43 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TAFKAA
What? You mean like what's happening in the forums currently?
You assume that everyone who reports things on the forums is doing so even when the content is within ToS and the forum guidelines. That might be true in some cases, but it's not universal.

You and I are probably on opposite sides of this discussion because I do report things like personal ads on the discussion forums and asking to have threads moved to the forum that is most fitting. (Selling used floggers just isn't General BDSM Discussion in My opinion.) However, I think that's why we have the reporting system in the first place. So the site can run the way it was intended.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 199
RE: Lets be honest have you ever reported anyone - 1/14/2013 4:52:07 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		I am deathly afraid of spiders, too. I know that at any time I'm on the internet, I might click on a page that shows a spider and I'll just have to deal. I have no intention of writing congress to pass a bill that bans photos of spiders from the internet. I know my fear is irrational and not the norm. I also know photos on the internet in no way compares with someone throwing them at me. If someone did that, they'd likely be pummeled before the night was out.

Block the photo and move on. It's not as if there are spider pics posted on every thread.

And thanks for that warning Level! I don't go to the Train Wreck thread much for that very reason lol.

_____________________________

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(in reply to emeraldgryphon)
Profile   Post #: 200
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