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Can I get a witness? - 1/16/2013 2:15:34 AM   
GettingFoggy


Posts: 3
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This New Years I had an experience that was new to me. Not explicitly sexual though so relax people. Anyway a lady(never heard her name) led me through hoops that night of conversation and teasing the ever loving shit out of me(women am I right fellas?). Anyway this progressed with us ending up outside with her having one hand around my throat and the other on my nuts. If you've been waiting for a question i'm about to get to it. Anyway she is choking me pretty hard and while I am really really really getting a thrill out of her dominating me(crushing my windpipe and balls) this other feeling rises up in me that feels like a towering conglomerate of "Oh yeah, you think you're bad?" and then "Bitch i'm the craziest motherfucker you'll ever meet!!". Then I just lost all tension in my body/mind and went limp and looked her in the eye with an absolute sureness that even if she popped my damn left nut i'd just laugh it off maniacally and then fuck her into insensibility. Needless to say she saw the shadow of that in my eye and went very playful with me to lower the stakes. Later she told me that if I didn't find someone to explore both sides of that with I might go even more wacko. Alright, question time!!! Please tell me if y'all see me as more of dominant or submissive. Or let me know how to manage the switch because I above all don't want to abuse the trust I have with any partner I am with.
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RE: Can I get a witness? - 1/16/2013 4:47:24 AM   
DarkSteven


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Summed up:

Woman tops OP. OP goes through all sorts of thoughts, unexpressed. Woman eases up because, OP states, he felt his masculinity rising in him. So, he submitted but had a reaction to it.

His question: Does that make him Dom or sub?

Answer: beats hell out of me. You bottomed, which doesn't directly correlate with being a Dom or a sub, both of which are defined within relationships. Bottoming is strictly a play role.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to GettingFoggy)
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RE: Can I get a witness? - 1/16/2013 2:27:25 PM   
GettingFoggy


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Thank you for your input. I guess I mistook a little drunken rowdiness for a real valid sincere connection with a shared understanding. Unless the understanding was to fool around. Even that was a bit blurry down the field. But thanks again.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Can I get a witness? - 1/16/2013 4:38:49 PM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
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I agree, bottoming in play doesn't make you submissive.
Nor does topping in play make you a dom/me.



_____________________________

LilSquaw
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(in reply to GettingFoggy)
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RE: Can I get a witness? - 1/16/2013 4:56:44 PM   
DarkSteven


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GettingFoggy

I guess I mistook a little drunken rowdiness for a real valid sincere connection with a shared understanding.


Dude, you don't even know her name.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to GettingFoggy)
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RE: Can I get a witness? - 1/16/2013 5:22:22 PM   
poise


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GettingFoggy
"Bitch i'm the craziest motherfucker you'll ever meet!!".
i'd just laugh it off maniacally and then fuck her into insensibility.
I might go even more wacko

Please tell me if y'all see me as more of dominant or submissive. Or let me know how to manage the switch because I
above all don't want to abuse
the trust I have with any partner I am with.

If your quotes above are what you think makes a man "dominant", I'd be more concerned for your partners
safety than their trust. So I suppose my answer would be that I see you as more submissive.


_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

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RE: Can I get a witness? - 1/16/2013 7:36:52 PM   
UnholyBear


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GettingFoggy

Thank you for your input. I guess I mistook a little drunken rowdiness for a real valid sincere connection with a shared understanding. Unless the understanding was to fool around. Even that was a bit blurry down the field. But thanks again.



I really have to wonder if your actions and reactions was based more on the thrill and excitement of the teasing which carried over to you both being outside and that still continuing opposed to her testing how much you will submit? I get the sense here that you were mainly seeing how far she was willing to go aggressively before you felt you wanted to turn the tables and be more aggressive with all the sexual tension that had been building up.

As Steven pointed out, you probably were being more of a bottom. Dominance and submission is more of the mental aspects whereas topping and bottoming are the actual roles one takes.

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RE: Can I get a witness? - 1/17/2013 10:01:06 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Sounds like you enjoy endorphin play. Which can be done through either bottoming or topping. I suggest you read some beginner safety lit, if you still want to explore then I'd join your local kink community.

However please be advised that most people and groups prohibit alcohol usage for just the reason you expressed, people get crazy when drunk or under the influence of any such intoxicant.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Can I get a witness? - 1/30/2013 7:19:49 AM   
KidCongo


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Amen.Hallelujah brother.

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RE: Can I get a witness? - 1/30/2013 7:26:55 AM   
EsotericLady


Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline
It's called...

You were drunk.

You were horny.

You took advantage of a situation.

That's all.

(in reply to KidCongo)
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RE: Can I get a witness? - 2/2/2013 9:24:46 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EsotericLady

It's called...

You were drunk.

You were horny.

You took advantage of a situation.

That's all.


How did he take advantage of the situation?

(in reply to EsotericLady)
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RE: Can I get a witness? - 2/2/2013 10:16:12 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
Advantage? Well turning what likely began as drunken flirting into what easily could have been his death (likely in a dark alley near the bar) for his own sexual kicks. Advantage was I want sex play!! Reality is dude you're drunk with a strangers hand around your neck till you passed out.

This is a living PSA for what NOT to do!!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to hlen5)
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RE: Can I get a witness? - 2/3/2013 6:09:04 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline
It's called "I really need to bust a nut all over this lady that had my jewels in a vise grip," otherwise known as (insert label here) frenzy.

I'd suggest learning her name (I mean, come on) and getting to know each other before diving into any play.

(in reply to GettingFoggy)
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RE: Can I get a witness? - 2/3/2013 7:04:44 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Summed up:

Woman tops OP. OP goes through all sorts of thoughts, unexpressed. Woman eases up because, OP states, he felt his masculinity rising in him. So, he submitted but had a reaction to it.

His question: Does that make him Dom or sub?

DS, by saying "he felt his masculinity rising in him," are you thinking that masculinity = dominance? Because if so, I have to say I disagree with that idea.

Other than that, I think the OP likes the rush of endorphins and that's why his experience was so exciting to him. He enjoys both Topping and bottoming. The thing is, he needs to first work it out in his own head and then negotiate with any partner how it will work within their relationship. When I was a switch, I handled each side of me with a separate partner. Some switch within a monogamous relationship.

NBMG



_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


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RE: Can I get a witness? - 2/3/2013 8:45:29 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline
Foggy, your adventure was in an altered state with a woman you didn't know. It's impossible to label yourself based on that one incident. A blanket 'I'm a this or that' can change on a dime with a new partner.

If you want to continue exploring the lifestyle, commit to not involving alcohol or drugs. Get to know your partner before commencing any play. I interview new partners by verbally reading a comprehensive bdsm checklist and having them supply their ratings, qualifiers, and any additional information before putting one finger on them. To me, this pre-negotiation is a powerful turn-on as well as being necessary toward a good experience for both.

Welcome to the boards, btw. Good luck. Enjoy the journey.

(in reply to GettingFoggy)
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S - 2/19/2013 10:57:26 PM   
GettingFoggy


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/16/2013
Status: offline
Firstly, I would like to give everyone who has given a reply and their take on what I experienced a all around thank-you and a big round of applause!! No sarcasm or bullshit intended! Every single one of the people who gave an opinion on what I experienced and tried to assist me in my difficulties deserves a complete and sincere thank you. Since the somewhat frivolous posting that has generated a multitude of views, and the overwhelming response and postings I feel a growing and engrossing somewhat absorbing responsibility between then and now. Overwhelmingly I feel a sense of gratitude to those who gave me a real and applicable sense of their own trials and tribulations regarding the nature of a switch.(which I still consider myself a member of)
Secondly: I would like to enact a pre-emptive strike in thanking and likewise cussing out the reply's to come and the diss's to come regarding my posting. Because while I am sure there will be surefire readers of every posting(before they type their opinion) checking out this post. I am likewise assured of the fact that there will be a legion of readers of those who will read what I have posted and react unfavorably and immediately(exclusively in my regard) in their postings(non-withstanding the numerous posting I have received that are meant to help me regarding this thread)
Please..please do not stop reading though. I now fully recognize the value of enemies and negativity, even the value of neutral parties and their tremendous value in the regards of overwhelming sympathy in either direction felt by either party, yet still feel a obligation to give their own opinion in the ongoing race towards political supremacy. (strictly regarding my advancement of ideas) as a, ""worthy factor"" that will impact my decision making process and greatly enhance my ultimately public ideals thrusted forward. While I a'm a bit tipsy, I have no problem reconciling the principles inlvolved and the actual process that is implemented.

This might simply be because while the process implemented is a bit different than what the legislative branch of the United States Stated envisioned, it is still vastly superior the any sort of, "Manifest Destiny".

Instead of implying any sort of nationalistic sense of patriotic belonging...... A.K.A Community Related Fiscal Sense( and I realize that what I sound like may be a recording of the classes I attended a few semester's ago. I still feel the frustrating sense that while I am not capable of completely reaching a hugely sexually frustrated base of the internet that I a'm still not able to reach, a GIGANTIC base of internet users that feel that they can't be related to..


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RE: S - 2/20/2013 4:05:34 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
Dude, what the hell?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to GettingFoggy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: S - 2/20/2013 5:42:33 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline


_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


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RE: S - 2/21/2013 4:44:12 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
Dude, you need to stop posting while drinking and please use shorter sentences.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
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RE: Can I get a witness? - 3/7/2013 4:00:49 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GettingFoggy

This New Years I had an experience that was new to me. Not explicitly sexual though so relax people. Anyway a lady(never heard her name) led me through hoops that night of conversation and teasing the ever loving shit out of me(women am I right fellas?). Anyway this progressed with us ending up outside with her having one hand around my throat and the other on my nuts. If you've been waiting for a question i'm about to get to it. Anyway she is choking me pretty hard and while I am really really really getting a thrill out of her dominating me(crushing my windpipe and balls) this other feeling rises up in me that feels like a towering conglomerate of "Oh yeah, you think you're bad?" and then "Bitch i'm the craziest motherfucker you'll ever meet!!". Then I just lost all tension in my body/mind and went limp and looked her in the eye with an absolute sureness that even if she popped my damn left nut i'd just laugh it off maniacally and then fuck her into insensibility. Needless to say she saw the shadow of that in my eye and went very playful with me to lower the stakes. Later she told me that if I didn't find someone to explore both sides of that with I might go even more wacko. Alright, question time!!! Please tell me if y'all see me as more of dominant or submissive. Or let me know how to manage the switch because I above all don't want to abuse the trust I have with any partner I am with.


One word: Paragraphs.

(in reply to GettingFoggy)
Profile   Post #: 20
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