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Fin. Doms??? - 1/20/2013 5:16:47 PM

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/20/2013
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I am new to the community. I was interested in the Fin. Dominatrix. I am concerned, because I do not want to have sex with anyone. I am not a "whore." No one will teach me anything about this life style. My friend is on here, so I called her. She said I do not have a Dom personality. I want to learn to be. I am getting a lot of negative messages from users calling me a whore and saying I am disgusting. This is seriously my first day on here. I don't have to be a Fin. Dom, but I love the idea of being a spoiled, princess-like brat, because it is the opposite of me in real life. Am I missing something?

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/20/2013 5:22:45 PM

Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline

Ok, for one, you WILL get those messages calling you are whore, regardless if you are fin domme, pro domme, lifestyle domme, top, pro switch, switch, bottom, submissive, pro submissive or slave.

So get over it.

Yay for you that you don't want to have sex with anybody. Want a cookie?

If you are getting SO offended over what an anonymous person behind a keyboard that doesn't know you from Adam is saying, you need to grow a thicker skin, and I advise you to do it quickly.

There's your first lesson.

< Message edited by MissAsylum -- 1/20/2013 5:23:36 PM >

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RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/20/2013 5:23:33 PM

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Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: XoXoMixieXoXo
but I love the idea of being a spoiled, princess-like brat, because it is the opposite of me in real life. Am I missing something?

Yes. You're missing a lot. If that's you're idea of what being dominant is, you have a lot to learn.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to XoXoMixieXoXo)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/20/2013 5:51:41 PM

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Joined: 1/25/2011
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i would suggest you read the other 700million posts about findoms.then remember that most of the men here are iso a free(commitment & monetary) f6ck

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(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/20/2013 7:34:01 PM

Posts: 463
Joined: 3/25/2010
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quote:

I love the idea of being a spoiled, princess-like brat

I can't speak for every guy, of course, and I'm certainly not in your target demographic, but I can't imagine this personality being the one that people are attracted to. I'd guess that you'd be more likely to have success if you approached it with a casual confidence...almost like you know that you're better so you don't need to express it (not that I actually think you, or anybody, really is better).

Also, the lawyer in me cautions you that if this is something you go forward with, treat it like a business. Keep track of your earnings and expenses, use an accountant to figure out what you can and cannot deduct, etc.

As far as the insults, get used to them. It's definitely less than ideal, but the fact of the matter is that women on this site are going to receive them, no matter what they do.

(in reply to XoXoMixieXoXo)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/20/2013 7:36:14 PM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: XoXoMixieXoXo

I am new to the community. I was interested in the Fin. Dominatrix. I am concerned, because I do not want to have sex with anyone. I am not a "whore." No one will teach me anything about this life style. My friend is on here, so I called her. She said I do not have a Dom personality. I want to learn to be. I am getting a lot of negative messages from users calling me a whore and saying I am disgusting. This is seriously my first day on here. I don't have to be a Fin. Dom, but I love the idea of being a spoiled, princess-like brat, because it is the opposite of me in real life. Am I missing something?

Hi. The main thing I gathered from your post is that you need to figure out how all this works.

1. You want to be a Domme, not a Dom.
2. Why is it that you don't want to have sex? You're correct in not wanting sex with someone you're taking tribute from, but have you considered a non-financial relationship on the side? Personally, I like sex and want it in my primary relationship.
3. Saying nobody will teach you about the lifestyle - why should we? You've been on the site for one day and already whining? Tell you what - search the forums for topics you want to know about. Do some research. Spend some time and effort and THEN start asking questions.
4. Negative messages? Block, delete, move on.
5. I have a hard time with the "spoiled, princess-like brat." To me, "brat" means someone who pushes the buttons of a Dom/me to get funishment. It's not a dynamic I like, and I certainly would not expect a D type to brat. A Dom/me, to me, is someone who craves control, and I don't get that sense from you.
6. Saying that this is the opposite of the real you makes it sound like roleplay. Nothing wrong with that. Do you want online/phone/RL sessions?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to XoXoMixieXoXo)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/20/2013 8:34:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: XoXoMixieXoXo
but I love the idea of being a spoiled, princess-like brat, because it is the opposite of me in real life. Am I missing something?

Yes. You're missing a lot. If that's you're idea of what being dominant is, you have a lot to learn.

Well if the friend she is refering to is the same one listed on her profile, I can guess where she got that idea from. It seems there are a lot of princess profiles that think being a domme means begging for cash and calling men pigs.

_____________________________

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/20/2013 9:03:14 PM

Posts: 382
Joined: 1/5/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: XoXoMixieXoXo

I am new to the community. I was interested in the Fin. Dominatrix. I am concerned, because I do not want to have sex with anyone. I am not a "whore." No one will teach me anything about this life style. My friend is on here, so I called her. She said I do not have a Dom personality. I want to learn to be. I am getting a lot of negative messages from users calling me a whore and saying I am disgusting. This is seriously my first day on here. I don't have to be a Fin. Dom, but I love the idea of being a spoiled, princess-like brat, because it is the opposite of me in real life. Am I missing something?

Congratulations. You just articulated the rationale of every findomme in existence. Get used to the criticism because every man who's not desperate enough to pay for your time will utterly despise you.

Have a nice day.

(in reply to XoXoMixieXoXo)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/20/2013 9:28:33 PM

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: XoXoMixieXoXo
I am new to the community. I was interested in the Fin. Dominatrix. I am concerned, because I do not want to have sex with anyone. I am not a "whore." No one will teach me anything about this life style. My friend is on here, so I called her. She said I do not have a Dom personality. I want to learn to be. I am getting a lot of negative messages from users calling me a whore and saying I am disgusting. This is seriously my first day on here. I don't have to be a Fin. Dom, but I love the idea of being a spoiled, princess-like brat, because it is the opposite of me in real life. Am I missing something?

I have two friends who have been findommes and left it. One didn't like it at all, and the other decided to spend her time making more serious money. I also have a friend who was a former high-end sugar baby. The works: rent-free penthouse, Centurion card, $10,000 cash a month. The only catch was the guy treated her like dirt under his feet, and she hated it. However, when she was laid off two years ago, she told me she was thinking of calling him "because then I could put my daughter into private school." We had a heart-wrenching conversation. (Fast forward to 2013. She now has a job she loves and just bought a house. She did the right thing not calling her sugar daddy again.)

I have no moral issues about findomme, and I wish you the best of luck if you decide to go for it. But remember the same thing that is true about Facebook and Google: "If you're getting something for free, you are the product being sold."

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to XoXoMixieXoXo)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/22/2013 4:37:27 PM

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Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

But remember the same thing that is true about Facebook and Google: "If you're getting something for free, you are the product being sold."

Nice!

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(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/22/2013 5:33:15 PM

Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: XoXoMixieXoXo

I am new to the community. I was interested in the Fin. Dominatrix. I am concerned, because I do not want to have sex with anyone. I am not a "whore." No one will teach me anything about this life style. My friend is on here, so I called her. She said I do not have a Dom personality. I want to learn to be. I am getting a lot of negative messages from users calling me a whore and saying I am disgusting. This is seriously my first day on here. I don't have to be a Fin. Dom, but I love the idea of being a spoiled, princess-like brat, because it is the opposite of me in real life. Am I missing something?

As a pro who practices financial domination I can tell you that for ME it's about much more than being spoiled, a princess, or a brat. In-fact I am far from a princess or a brat.

There are people (pros) who might mentor you, I have mentored several people. However, IF you are not a dominant person all you are doing is faking it. Which makes you what so many people around here say every pro and financial domme is. However,your profile claims you are a so... eh.

I will also say, that I NEVER have sex or sexual contact with my clients.
I know some that do.
That doesn't mean I don't enjoy sex or have sex with my primary partner.
I do. Lol

I know a large group of prosubs, some of which are sugar babies. Although it's different than financial domination in some ways it is still very much the same.

ETA: There is are a group of people that enjoy the spoiled bratty princess thing, I can't lie about that.

As far as messages from random users calling you a whore, prostitute, ect.
Eh... block.
If it's "abusive" report and block.
Unless it has a gold banner around it don't sweat it.

< Message edited by TheLilSquaw -- 1/22/2013 5:40:52 PM >

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(in reply to XoXoMixieXoXo)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/23/2013 11:23:31 AM

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: XoXoMixieXoXo

I am new to the community. I was interested in the Fin. Dominatrix. I am concerned, because I do not want to have sex with anyone. I am not a "whore." No one will teach me anything about this life style. My friend is on here, so I called her. She said I do not have a Dom personality. I want to learn to be. I am getting a lot of negative messages from users calling me a whore and saying I am disgusting. This is seriously my first day on here. I don't have to be a Fin. Dom, but I love the idea of being a spoiled, princess-like brat, because it is the opposite of me in real life. Am I missing something?

Hi. The main thing I gathered from your post is that you need to figure out how all this works.

1. You want to be a Domme, not a Dom

I've gotta disagree here: There is absolutely no reason why a female dominant should be expected to a diminuitive form of the word dominant. That word is entirely for the use of saying "we have to indicate that this person is a female type of dominant, because they aren't worthy of using the gender-neutral word".

Many of us use the correct and not sexist/insulting term as we are, in fact, dominants.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/23/2013 11:37:17 AM

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: XoXoMixieXoXo

I am new to the community. I was interested in the Fin. Dominatrix. I am concerned, because I do not want to have sex with anyone. I am not a "whore." No one will teach me anything about this life style. My friend is on here, so I called her. She said I do not have a Dom personality. I want to learn to be. I am getting a lot of negative messages from users calling me a whore and saying I am disgusting. This is seriously my first day on here. I don't have to be a Fin. Dom, but I love the idea of being a spoiled, princess-like brat, because it is the opposite of me in real life. Am I missing something?

First, lots and lots of us, financial doms and other forms, do have sex with people. These are real-life relationships that often include sex and romance and friendship for many. It's totally okay if you don't want to, as also many don't, but there is nothing wrong with or no rule that you have to avoid sex to be a dominant.

Second, being a financial dom while having sex with your partner is not being a whore. Exchanging sex for money would make you a whore. Financial domination with a sexual partner is more on the level of your lover buying you a necklace you like or taking you out for dinner or such.... spending and giving money on you because they want you to be happy, not as a business exchange.

Third, receiving gifts and money are not the only forms of financial domination. It also can involve financial punishments, tasks, doing a persons budget, controlling their spending habits, possibly working over-time to have them save up more money for something they need to buy for themselves, etc. It is domination revolving around money, in general. Receiving gifts is just one sort.

Fourth, what's wrong with being a whore?

Fifth, you are going to get called a whore and more even if you aren't a financial dominant... As another said, that really just comes with being a female on the internet and especially one who is openly dominant.

Sixth, yes, that style (princess/brat) tends to be the favorite, most-popular form of financial domination personalities. They get the most attention, most gifts, etc. But to do this - and any type of *actual* domination vs. sex work - you need to be coming from a position of, well, dominance. If you want to play a role to make some money and get things, that's you're choice and there's nothing wrong with working to make a buck... but realize and be honest with yourself that you *are* working a job while doing it.

So, figure out if you're actually feeling you may be a dominant person inside and want to pursue those types of relationships, specifically financial domination or other sorts or both mixed. I'd advise you to not try to be someone you are not. Using a business persona is common in many fields and if you approach it that way you, again, are working a job but being honest with yourself and treating it as such will keep you happier in your life... actual D/s relationships, again financial or other, involve personal emotions and interactions, investment in a way of life and your own personality that faking full-time is only going to make you unhappy in the long run.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to XoXoMixieXoXo)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/23/2013 11:38:54 AM

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TAFKAA

quote:

ORIGINAL: XoXoMixieXoXo

I am new to the community. I was interested in the Fin. Dominatrix. I am concerned, because I do not want to have sex with anyone. I am not a "whore." No one will teach me anything about this life style. My friend is on here, so I called her. She said I do not have a Dom personality. I want to learn to be. I am getting a lot of negative messages from users calling me a whore and saying I am disgusting. This is seriously my first day on here. I don't have to be a Fin. Dom, but I love the idea of being a spoiled, princess-like brat, because it is the opposite of me in real life. Am I missing something?

Congratulations. You just articulated the rationale of every findomme in existence. Get used to the criticism because every man who's not desperate enough to pay for your time will utterly despise you.

Have a nice day.

Says a man that clearly has never and will never buy a girl/boyfriend a gift or take them out for dinner.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to TAFKAA)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/23/2013 6:15:35 PM

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: XoXoMixieXoXo

I am new to the community. I was interested in the Fin. Dominatrix. I am concerned, because I do not want to have sex with anyone. I am not a "whore." No one will teach me anything about this life style. My friend is on here, so I called her. She said I do not have a Dom personality. I want to learn to be. I am getting a lot of negative messages from users calling me a whore and saying I am disgusting. This is seriously my first day on here. I don't have to be a Fin. Dom, but I love the idea of being a spoiled, princess-like brat, because it is the opposite of me in real life. Am I missing something?

I'm a FinSub...it's okay hon...we're all in this together.

(in reply to XoXoMixieXoXo)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/24/2013 12:10:33 AM

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

In order to be a real fin domme, you have to give Ron a blowjob. It's like a right or passage.....that just started....with you.

_____________________________

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The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/24/2013 12:32:57 AM

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Joined: 1/5/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable
Says a man that clearly has never and will never buy a girl/boyfriend a gift or take them out for dinner.

Why is it that morons speculate about things they have absolutely no conception of - especially things which are stunningly unrelated to the topic. It's getting so you can't even have a decent stoush in here.

Like, I'll say something reasonable, yet aggressive and some idiot will respond with "Yeah. Fish and bicycles on a Sunday afternoon while we picnic down the Thames in our Huntington's disease".

How can anyone possibly respond to madness-induced batshit-crazy nonsense?

(in reply to RumpusParable)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/24/2013 12:39:58 AM

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TAFKAA

How can anyone possibly respond to madness-induced batshit-crazy nonsense?

They usually vote.

~ Your Friendly Canuckian Poster From the North Pole

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

(in reply to TAFKAA)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/24/2013 7:17:00 AM

absolutchocolat

Posts: 1392
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

In order to be a real fin domme, you have to give Ron a blowjob. It's like a right or passage.....that just started....with you.

He'll be very excited about this initiation ritual.

(in reply to TNDommeK)

RE: Fin. Doms??? - 1/24/2013 8:02:44 AM

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

I think so too.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to absolutchocolat)

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