Avoiding the form letter in initial correspondence

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Avoiding the form letter in initial correspondence - 11/8/2004 11:07:26 AM

yegg

Posts: 7
Joined: 1/4/2004
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I have a question for the submissives/slaves out there, particularly the females, since they're probably the ones who deal with this most. I see a lot of profiles of female submissives that say something along the lines of "if you can't be more creative than to send me a form letter, don't message me." However, I am having a hard time trying to figure out how to write a letter that wouldn't be considered a form letter, when there aren't any personal details or information in the woman's profile.

Let me start by saying, I do not use a form letter. However, I will concede that most of my letters probably look a lot alike, especially when there is no personal info in the profile. I know the obvious answer is to simply not waste my time writing to someone who can't be bothered to write a decent profile. However, I feel that by doing that, I'm missing the opportunity to meet someone who might be compatible with what I'm looking for.

Another concern in writing that first letter is that writing a 2 or 3 page letter to a complete stranger telling her all about myself seems like overkill and silliness. My gut feeling is that an initial email should maybe be a paragraph, basically inviting the person to take a look at my profile and tell me if they're interested, and offering to send a picture to them if they're interested. If they have something truly unique in their profile I make an effort to comment on it, or ask them a question about it. If there's something that really strikes me about their picture I will include a compliment about that feature, without going overboard.

I am never rude in my initial emails, nor do I use the "on your knees now, bitch" style, as that just seems way too presumptuous to me. I do read profiles, and don't send messages to women who have specific qualities they're looking for, if I don't possess those qualities. I don't send messages seeking relationships to women who already have relationships, or to women who are looking for other women (I'm male). I don't send emails to women out of the area I'm in, unless they have some indication in their profile they would relocate.

Despite my efforts though, it just seems that I often times end up just getting the cold shoulder treatment. Email is simply read and never responded to, or worse yet, simply deleted, unread. I know I don't have a picture in my profile due to career concerns, which may account for some of the lack of response. I realize that a new female profile here may get 150-200 emails initially which simply boggles my mind. How do I make my message stand out from the crowd of idiots, HNGs, abusers and fakes? How do you custom tailor a message to someone who doesn't give you any unique material to work with?

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RE: Avoiding the form letter in initial correspondence - 11/8/2004 11:13:10 AM

cariad

Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
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this slave goes out of her way to read most of her emails and respond to them. but agrees that the initial email should be a paragraph detailing only what You want in it, inviting them to take the initiative to write back and ask more questions or take a look at Your profile.

just this slaves' 50 cents worth.

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RE: Avoiding the form letter in initial correspondence - 11/8/2004 1:24:34 PM

inadazey

Posts: 69
Joined: 10/7/2004
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I've only ever had profiles when single on a different website, but, in my experience and opinion, a form letter is one which has obviously been sent to every other submissive on the website who met the dom's basic requirements. They acknowledged *nothing* that was written in the profile, and many of them actually had no relevance whatsoever to my profile (for example, lots of messages from male subs...).

I understand completely where you are coming from. It's not realistic to write pages of personal details when you have no reason to think you'll even get a return response. I think a lot get inundated with mail, and just don't or can't respond to everyone. I'd say it just means that she senses the two of you wouldn't be compatible.

The man who is now my Master wrote me a message, stating his interests, and also how he thought we would be compatible. I sensed that some of it was "form letter," but he sounded like someone I wanted to get to know. I actually asked him about it at a later point, and he told me that some of it was what he generally wrote, but that he personalized it.. exactly what I'd guessed. I find nothing wrong with that, and it was obviously successful, being as he swept me off my feet! :)

So, my feeling is that you're right on track. I wasn't planning on meeting or getting involved with anyone when he contacted me; I just wanted to chat with likeminded people. So I feel it's a matter of the right person at the right time...

Just be yourself, like it sounds like you are. The right girl will see that and want to write back.. As for the rest..... I'd say just disregard, and keep the faith. What really counts is the right girl for you responding!!
Best of luck with your search; you seem like a great guy! :) ~daisy~

P.S. The caption to my Master's profile was, "There has got to be someone real on here..." Obviously there was!! :D

< Message edited by inadazey -- 11/8/2004 1:29:14 PM >

(in reply to yegg)

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RE: Avoiding the form letter in initial correspondence - 11/8/2004 2:58:23 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

If they haven't written a profile mention that in your first email. Tell them why you chose to write to them, maybe location, interesting login name..? Your first email doesn't have to sound like a form letter. I think you are right about limiting it to a paragraph or so. Long first emails tend to be form letters anyway. Few people have that much to say without some contact with whoever you are writing to.

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RE: Avoiding the form letter in initial correspondence - 11/8/2004 5:10:00 PM

EStrict

Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
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I have two different thoughts on this....

One idea is try to learn something on your own before even bothering... come to THIS side and do a search of their name (link is at the top of every page and all you have to do is click *by author* and put in their name). See what they have said here...

If they haven't posted anything, (either because they are new or because they just don't post), pic one of their interests and find a post on that topic (I think we have covered most of them at one time or another), and write them telling them there are some interesting thoughts on it and that you were wondering if they would be willing to contribute because (it's a fetish/interest/curiousity/whatevever).....

The second is you said how many emails NEW people get. From that (and I could be wrong), I'm guessing you have it letting you know who the new members are. How about keeping a list of new people to write in a few weeks when they have a chance to get use to the place, and look around for some that have been around and find out how things are going with them?

I don't know,,, I have never sought anyone on a board, I am just trying to go with what seems logical to me.. hope it helps.

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(in reply to Laura)

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