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LadyPact -> RE: New to bdsm and find a lot of it weird?? (1/23/2013 10:24:11 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: con8ken
I spoke to one sub and what she was saying seemed nuts, she had fantasies about being raped, to me the feelings of a victim who has no inclination towards any of the effects or emotions, and the feelings that a fantasist associates with it can never be equated, which is not to say the reality of rape is any less of a vile act if happened to either. I think some people don't differentiate between reality and fantasy and are damaged by it. Would any of you think that it would be ok for a masochist person to make a choice to put themselves in dangerous situations with a hope to actually being raped, based on their fantasy and the perceived feelings they will get from it?
I think she is delusional and needs to seek help to protect her from herself.
Do any of you believe that if they enjoy the reality of being raped, and as long as they report the crime to the police so this vile criminal can be arrested, that's ok.? I don't. So again I believe they need to be protected from themselves.
Just because a person can it doesn't mean they should.
I understand that this doesn't reflect the reality of everyday people in the bdsm community and the vast majority practice within safe limits, however extreme they may seem.
I only asked two questions just to see if anyone agreed with me, and know one picked up on the questions and started saying unrelated stuff
I think there are several possibilities here. One is that the person that you talked to found herself a gullible listener so for fun, she wanted to see if she could flip you out by saying she wanted to do dangerous stuff. Some people really do get their kicks that way. Don't believe Me? Ask the forum how often some poor guy really believes the story about how some girl was kidnapped against her will, taken against state lines, and is being held captive by some cartel kingpin. (Always remember that the so-called kidnap victim has computer access to tell the other person her story on a kink site, but can't contact the authorities.)
Another possibility is someone is trying to inspire white knight syndrome. That's somebody who is trying to get the other person involved in the conversation to want to "save" the storyteller. It's a con that gets the listener hooked and invested in the well being of the con artist. She makes you think she needs help and in order for her to get that help, she needs your assistance.
A scenario that comes up on a rare basis is the twisted guy who is literally setting up an account as his ex girlfriend to dupe people into raping the woman in real life. The 'girl' tells males on a kink site that she has rape fantasies and is seeking to fulfill them in any way 'she' can. Either with a guy who also enjoys rape play or somebody who feels that they should help her with her fantasy so she doesn't endanger herself in real life. When somebody is dumb enough to fall for this little ploy, the guy from the kink site follows through on the real woman, who had no clue about the 'play rape' so it really is rape. The guy who thought it was consensual ends up with a criminal conviction.
Of course, there is always the possibility that you never talked to anyone, have fantasies of your own that you don't quite know how to reconcile, and thought you'd have your own fun on a kink site.
So, to answer your direct question, no, I don't think I should do anything to prevent anyone from doing what they want to do. In all of the years that I have been engaging in BDSM, I have yet to run across the actual person who has wanted the reality of the situation that you put forth in the question you posed to the forum. That's after meeting, interacting, and socializing with thousands of kinky people over more than the last decade. I'm betting the odds that you didn't come across that person who exists in reality in five days.
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