RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (Full Version)

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TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/7/2013 1:30:20 PM)

Thank you, Michael. I am re-reading your post as it contains a lot of information and deserves a second view.

I wanted to stop and just say that I am sorry for the attacks you endured. I also want to applaud your public and earnest statement about what happened to you. I think that every time a survivor speaks up, it enlightens others and makes the shadows smaller. The shadows... the silence, secrecy and blindness that surrounds such attacks. Bravo!

Back to reading again...




TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/7/2013 2:11:16 PM)

angelikaJ

Your whole post oozed empathy, understanding and care. After just reading Michael's post...and then yours, I'm feeling very emotional.

Thank you both, so very, very much! I apologize for my timing. I want to respond to both of you in more depth, but I simply have to stop focusing on this right now and get some rest.




SailingBum -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/7/2013 2:59:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

I’m feeling paralyzed by fear. I don’t even know where to turn for answers. I am hoping that TOS guidelines won’t interfere with a rational and informative discussion of this topic. I simply seek clarity. These are my questions:

Question 1

Is a Daddy Dom a pedophile psychologically, but he behaves physically/sexually only with adults?



Question 3

Daddy Doms and pedophiles “groom” the focus of their attention, using praise, gifts and a sense of dependence. But do they share these other qualities as well:

-




Your logic is flawed.

Putting the shoe on the other foot.... Do the ppl seeking Daddy doms wish they had sex at a tender age. Of course NOT! Furthermore grouping Daddy Doms and pedophiles is just fucked up.

BadOne




DaddySatyr -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/7/2013 3:33:11 PM)

Wrong spot




TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 7:01:10 AM)

@NotSweet & @cordeliasub

In reference to newbies or others who have difficult questions and seek answers here, or at least, more factors to consider as they find their own answers, I want to add these thoughts...

Ethical fallacies describe faulty arguments. In this case, I think that your "retort" is actually an example of the Straw Man fallacy. For those unfamiliar, that is when you argue against a smaller part of a position as if it were the actual position itself.

First of all, the OP questions are not a "position." They are a set of factors which were presented for feedback. In other words, the question is not the conclusion.

In terms of statistics, it is understood that even beginning with a known, faulty hypothesis, conclusions may possibly be reached by testing it. At the very least, more factors to consider may be revealed.

It was in that spirit, that I went forward with posting the questions. If I'd thought I was right and believed I was right, then perhaps I may have posted declarative sentences simply to stroke my own ego or to garner support for my stance. But, that is not what I did, nor what I sought.

I understand why you both connected this with both ethical and statistical methods of problem-solving. I just don't agree that either perception fits.

Still, I do appreciate that your critique was of my methodology and not a personal attack. :) I'm glad for anyone who reads this that they can see that disagreement needn't be personal.

Thank you for adding to the environment of safe exchange. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

My focus was meant to be on the statistical outliers in the realm of DD relationships. I lacked the terminology to clarify that in the beginning, so... my bad.

No regrets, though, as I've learned so very much. I'm not the only one benefiting from the exchanges. If nothing else was learned by others, I'd say this thread is an excellent example of the best that the CM forum can offer. That means that a newbie (at least to the threads) may feel encouraged and safe in asking about something delicate, difficult or embarrassing.

I'm seeing good things here.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Notsweet


quote:

ORIGINAL: cordeliasub

This seems like a weird twist on "post hoc, ergo propter hoc." Like: the murderer only killed when wearing a pink shirt, therefore pink shirts cause people to murder. Just because there may be weirdo outliers who use Daddy Dom as a front to be pedos does not then mean that daddy Don = Pedo.

We can 'but what if" all day long. There are 6 billion people in this world, if you look hard enough you can find SOMEONE to fit pretty much any premise. That does NOT mean you can generalize from that situation.


Love it! Statistics!
In a city, the more churches there are, the higher the crime rate. It's a fact. Why? BECAUSE THERE ARE MORE CHURCHES IN A HIGH DENSITY POPULATION, AND THERE ARE MORE CRIMES IN A HIGH DENSITY POPULATION!

the first thing I learned in Stats--CORRELATION IS NOT CAUSALITY!







TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 7:43:59 AM)

Hi Nelee,

The first thing I hope YOU will notice is that DaddySatyr's post seems to be missing now. I can only speculate as to, "Why?".

Two things. First, you did not make it clear - which of his posts you were referring to. There was a lengthy post which came just before your comment and that is because he was engaging the subject with a level of depth and complexity that rises above the "one-liners." He put time and effort into it and that deserves respect, whether in agreement, or disagreement with what is written.

If your comment referred to his previous, "concise" post, then it would be helpful if you made that clear.

The second thing is that if you were referring to his more lengthy post, wow! Did you actually read it? If so, then I wonder how you are able to gloss over the part in which he said he had not previously been so open in such a public forum.

If that is what you did... then I ask you, please spend some time locating your heart before you expose others here to your callous and mean-spirited words.

I think you owe DaddySatyr an apology.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nelee

A very thorough and concise reply, DaddySatyr, even in the face of OP's rather ill-informed (to say the least) responses to the previous answers to her question. Hopefully after 10 pages, she begins to understand. Hopefully.





TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 7:58:21 AM)

ARIES83 - this goes for you, too!

Hi Nelee,

The first thing I hope YOU will notice is that DaddySatyr's post seems to be missing now. I can only speculate as to, "Why?".

Two things. First, you did not make it clear - which of his posts you were referring to. There was a lengthy post which came just before your comment and that is because he was engaging the subject with a level of depth and complexity that rises above the "one-liners." He put time and effort into it and that deserves respect, whether in agreement, or disagreement with what is written.

If your comment referred to his previous, "concise" post, then it would be helpful if you made that clear.

The second thing is that if you were referring to his more lengthy post, wow! Did you actually read it? If so, then I wonder how you are able to gloss over the part in which he said he had not previously been so open in such a public forum.

If that is what you did... then I ask you, please spend some time locating your heart before you expose others here to your callous and mean-spirited words.

I think you owe DaddySatyr an apology.
quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83


quote:

ORIGINAL: Nelee

A very thorough and concise reply???


[sm=jaw.gif]I'd hate to see your idea of longwinded.

quote:

Hi Nelee,

The first thing I hope YOU will notice is that DaddySatyr's post seems to be missing now. I can only speculate as to, "Why?".

Two things. First, you did not make it clear - which of his posts you were referring to. There was a lengthy post which came just before your comment and that is because he was engaging the subject with a level of depth and complexity that rises above the "one-liners." He put time and effort into it and that deserves respect, whether in agreement, or disagreement with what is written.

If your comment referred to his previous, "concise" post, then it would be helpful if you made that clear.

The second thing is that if you were referring to his more lengthy post, wow! Did you actually read it? If so, then I wonder how you are able to gloss over the part in which he said he had not previously been so open in such a public forum.

If that is what you did... then I ask you, please spend some time locating your heart before you expose others here to your callous and mean-spirited words.

I think you owe DaddySatyr an apology.




Subano -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 8:04:16 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
Furthermore grouping Daddy Doms and pedophiles is just fucked up.


That!




TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 8:54:08 AM)

If I asked about humans and diseased humans, would you think that was fucked up?

Get a grip! A discussion, a disagreement... you'll live.

In this case, some woman on the internet asked questions. If it disturbs you... move along, you know? And, did you really read the now 10 pages of comments, which include a revision of the OP questions?

Your one-liner suggests...not.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Subano


quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
Furthermore grouping Daddy Doms and pedophiles is just fucked up.


That!





TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 10:19:24 AM)

I'm going to reply to a few more posts here and then move on. I've asked the Admin to help me end this thread and move to a new one.

I can see from the latest posts that people are just jumping in without reading the thread. In a way, that's reasonable because it's just so long. On the other hand, the discussion evolved. The original questions were either answered, or proven to be invalid.

Also, thank you to those who for whatever reasons, chose to answer me via Cmail and not here.

Thank you Everyone! Your feedback helped me refine my thinking in a way that I needed.

edited for spelling




TheLilSquaw -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 10:40:28 AM)

quote:

I've asked the Admin to help me end this thread and move to a new one.


You don't get to decide when a thread ends.
It's a public forum and as long as people are not violating the TOS or forum guidelines they have a right to respond. You may not like what they have a right to say, but they have a right to say it.

If you want to move on to a new thread.
No one is stopping you.




ARIES83 -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 11:03:18 AM)

What? I thought DS made a good reply, I didn't
think Nelee was using the word concise properly
because it means breif, short, succinct and DS's
post was on the large side, I was being a word
nazi.

I can understand that theres a lot of personal
stuff being discussed here, and people may be
sensitive to what's being posted but I don't see
how my post is offensive to anyone beyond me
not offering my sympathies and I'm not going to
do that.
For one I don't have any feelings about it,
heartless though it may be, and also I think it
would come off as disparaging to imply DS
needed my sympathy.

What I'm going to do instead is ignore the
comment about being passive aggressive and
take the remark about being courteous as a
sign I've been less than tactful in what I was
doing considering where I was doing it.

I fail to see how I am being mean spirited...
If anyone still feels I should apologise for
something CMail me and I'll discuss it.





DaddySatyr -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 11:40:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

The first thing I hope YOU will notice is that DaddySatyr's post seems to be missing now. I can only speculate as to, "Why?".


It's simple, really. My post was pulled because it violated ToS (One fucking word did) and I am not one of the "special ones" that seems to enjoy a certain immunity.

To be entirely fair; I knew that something in a thread of this nature was going to get zapped and the Admin that did the zapping wrote me a really nice e-mail that was almost apologetic in tone.

However, the passive-aggressive, personal attack against me remains. Even if not an "attack", we're not supposed to make other posters the subject of our posts, either.



Peace and comfort,



Michael





Darkfeather -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 12:00:54 PM)

I do have one question on this rather poignant and interesting subject... how in the great pumpkin did this discussion get to 10 pages???




littlewonder -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 12:18:57 PM)

because the op is not clear in his/her communication and thinks people should read his/her mind and complains when no one can.




CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 12:38:52 PM)

quote:

First of all, the OP questions are not a "position." They are a set of factors which were presented for feedback. In other words, the question is not the conclusion.


1) They definitely got feedback.

2) I disagree. Some questions themselves draw a conclusion to all who hear it. In other words, can be misleading and have made a judgment. Consider this question, "Have you stopped beating your wife?" The question itself assumes too much.
a. That someone beats their wife and won't stop, and
b. that someone is a wife beater and has only recently stopped.

There is no option c.

This is not the first time people have come here treating us like lab rats while they write some paper. Know this though...a major reason why I like BDSM is because it's between consenting adults. I would crawl over broken glass on my hands and knees while thanking God if every pedophile in the world stopped messing with children...and were capable of taking an adult woman/girlfriend and roleplay that she is a child in pigtails.

Btw, my maternal grandfather was a pedo, and an adopted first cousin of mine is recently out of jail after spending way too short of time behind bars for molesting both of his toddlers. I live in WV now for crying out loud; most of the people waiting to see counselors/shrinks in a huge office I used to go to were all there because some child molester got to them, either another family member or else a neighbor, someone from church, someone from elementary school, from Cub or Boy Scouts, the building maintenance man, etc.

There is so much of this going on in the vanilla world that BDSM seems like a safe haven by comparison.

My submissive side is/was...and this surprised the H out of me...a little girl. Yep, that was me on the floor with the crayons and Strawberry Shortcake coloring book. I was lucky that I found someone who filled the big empty space where a decent daddy should have been. (There was nothing sexual, sensual, no spankies.)




Darkfeather -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 12:45:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

because the op is not clear in his/her communication and thinks people should read his/her mind and complains when no one can.



yeah but... yeah but... 10 pages????




crazyml -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 12:51:02 PM)

Hey DS,

I get the impression that it was a powerful post, man.

Is there any way you can repost it w/o the offending word? (As a favor?)




CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 2:43:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Hey DS,

I get the impression that it was a powerful post, man.

Is there any way you can repost it w/o the offending word? (As a favor?)


I second that. :)

If not, DS, would you mind if I asked to read it in a private message?





DaddySatyr -> RE: Daddy Dom? Pedophile? The difference is....? (2/8/2013 3:00:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Hey DS,

I get the impression that it was a powerful post, man.

Is there any way you can repost it w/o the offending word? (As a favor?)


It took me an hour to write it. One word offended.

I wish to state, again; the Administrator that removed it was almost apologetic about having to do so. They were very sweet.

While we all knew that this thread might run afoul of ToS, my post (that contained one fucking "no-no word" was removed while other violations remain in the same thread.

So, no. I won't be taking my good time to repost it. Consider it my little form of protest of the slanted moderation that resides in general and in particular, even, on this very thread.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

ETA: Also, since I have hit the "save email" button twice and a copy of the gold letter has not been forwarded, I cannot edit it properly.





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