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first meeting protocol? - 11/8/2004 10:16:30 PM

cranialcarnage

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Joined: 9/14/2004
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I have spoken to many Doms over the course of the past year strictly on a friends basis, but my next meeting with a Dom will be as a potential sub. We have spoken extremely well over the Internet and on the phone, and I have a very good feeling about this one. I know all the safety protocols and I will be meeting Him in a crowded airport, but I want to know how to do the initial greeting. Is there something specific I am supposed to do, some special way of taking His hand or something, maybe a special posture I should be taking when I walk up to Him? Should I surprise Him with a small gift as a thank you for taking the time to meet with me? Or should I just ask Him what He wants me to do?

I apologize in advance if this thread was posted somewhere else; I did several searches and turned up nothing.

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RE: first meeting protocol? - 11/8/2004 10:26:22 PM

perverseangelic

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You are not submissive to -him- untill you have agreed to be. I would personally say to approach the meeting as an equal, so that you can discuss your potential without being overcome by the desire to submit.

Meet him as you would meet anyone who you want a relationship with. I think it's very important on a first meeting to feel that you can ask all the questions you need to ask, without fear of retribution. Again, untill submission is negotiated, there should be (IMHO) no expectation of it.

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RE: first meeting protocol? - 11/8/2004 10:42:35 PM

cranialcarnage

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Joined: 9/14/2004
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This does make sense to me; I have begun calling Him Sir, not as his sub, but because He has shown that He deserves it. He has also given me some minor things to do daily, to get me prepared for the possibility that I will be comfortable enough to offer myself to Him when we meet in person, and all with my agreement; a sort of pre-training, I suppose.

In any case, I will be approaching Him as an equal until we are both comfortable enough with each other to take the next step; if He is as much of a gentleman in person as He has been so far, that shouldn't take too long.

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RE: first meeting protocol? - 11/8/2004 10:52:25 PM

rubytuesday

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Joined: 10/22/2004
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I dont have anything to add but I think the comment from perverseangelic is very sensible and sounds about right.
Just wanted to say this was a brilliant question and one I
ll keep in mind for future use :-)

Smiles

ruby

(in reply to cranialcarnage)

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RE: first meeting protocol? - 11/9/2004 6:18:02 AM

Voltare

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Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
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I wrote a rather cynical post on meeting from the internet a few months back, but the gist of my thoughts are simply this - treat the first meeting, like a real first meeting.

The internet is like a big pickup bar. The person you show in this bar, is probably not identical to the person you are in real life - the same is true for everyone else. If the person is genuinely as good as you hope he is, then give him the time to show you this fact in real time. It only takes a few weeks of face to face, to really establish a sense of trust. It takes literally years or decades to get over the 'worst case situations' emotionally and financially.

At the same time, the first meeting is like a first date - there's really no harm at all in a small (and INEXPENSIVE) gift. The best advice in the world is what your heart tells you - but like any first date, just be prepared for it to not work out. Don't ignore obvious warning signs (like the proverbial tan that left a white ring on his left ring finger.) I highly (highly highly) recommend not sharing a bed, having sex, or any kind of play on the first encounter under this situation (again, your milage may vary on this, these are just my views.) I also very strongly suggest if you are investing more then $500 in this meeting, that asking to see a few photos or a webcam would be a very wise idea (though many other people will disagree - it would have saved me a fair bit in travel expenses in the past.)

Most importantly, be yourself and enjoy it. If it works out, then you'll have the rest of your life to spend getting to know this man. If it doesn't then don't try to make the square peg fit in the round hole - there are lots of men in this world.

Good luck!

Stephan

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RE: first meeting protocol? - 11/9/2004 8:03:54 AM

Yankeestick

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare

I also very strongly suggest if you are investing more then $500 in this meeting, that asking to see a few photos or a webcam would be a very wise idea (though many other people will disagree - it would have saved me a fair bit in travel expenses in the past.)

Volare - I agree in spades - whether you're investing in a plane ticket, or just a long-ass car ride.

These days, with webcam and internet phone technology (I actually have total US and Canda coverage through internet cable for only $35/month!) there's no good reason not to really get to know someone in real-time before that first long-distance face to face meeting - especially for someone seeking a serious relationship of ANY kind.

Anyone who doesn't take advantage of this technology that is so cheap that it's almost free is cruisin' for a bruisin' - setting him or herself for the kind of disappointment that many of us have known. These days, it's a needless risk.

I don't keep a picture posted for the obvious reasons - but you can bet that once I begin talking with a potential partner, the webcam goes on - and I'll make sure she's got one as well. I'll pick up the phone tab and make the calls, but by the time we do meet face to face, we sure won't be hopeful, naive strangers in the night anymore.

Best,

Yankeestick

(in reply to Voltare)

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RE: first meeting protocol? - 11/9/2004 9:19:02 AM

Voltare

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From: Santiago, Chile
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DISCLAIMER:

I didn't post the above to start another webcam fight. I think that deserves it's own thread - please lets not hijack this thread to become a 'web cam - pro or con?' debacle.

Stephan

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http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

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RE: first meeting protocol? - 11/9/2004 9:41:02 PM

TaurusMCMLVIII

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quote:

Is there something specific I am supposed to do, some special way of taking His hand or something, maybe a special posture I should be taking when I walk up to Him? Should I surprise Him with a small gift as a thank you for taking the time to meet with me? Or should I just ask Him what He wants me to do?

There has already been a lot of good advice provided. I agree that you should be honest and upfront with him so you understand completely what you are getting into. But I have a feeling that you are asking something a little different. Perhaps you have already decided that you are very interested with begining a Dom/sub relationship so you want to make the best "first impression" as possible, perhaps even discretely being slightly "seductive." Most Doms do not want a "doormat" so be true to your needs and desires. But it also doesn't hurt to come with some respect, be well groomed, a seductive frangrance, a sexy outfit and a fun, sexy attitude. Use the standard "tricks" that any woman would use - laugh at his jokes, a slight touch to his arm or hand, a seductive toss of the hair. Doms are just like "vanilla" men- we fall for this stuff every time!

(in reply to cranialcarnage)

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RE: first meeting protocol? - 11/10/2004 5:37:37 AM

ManicVortex

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The first meeting should be as comfortable as possible. If he is a Dom worth anything then one of his chief concerns should be to insure at the first meeting you are able to be yourself. I think it's admirable that you want to show a good first impression but I think the focus should be on being comfortable.

(in reply to TaurusMCMLVIII)

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