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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/3/2013 11:07:15 PM

Greta75

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quote:

If I am guessing right, your culture frowns on living together, yes?

Yep, that too. Not married to this guy for sure. I asked that question.

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/3/2013 11:11:35 PM

tazzygirl

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So why did she move in with him? Thats the part that isnt adding up.. and why i think something is fishy.

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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/3/2013 11:12:04 PM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

So why did she move in with him? Thats the part that isnt adding up.. and why i think something is fishy.

Because he wooed her, and she fell inlove with him. And she is still inlove with him. And she ran away with him. She was young too, 19 when they met. She's 24 when I spoke to her.

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/3/2013 11:15:55 PM

tazzygirl

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quote:

edited to add because Tazzygirl said "consent is the beginning"

It was for me in the context of the relationship being gorean. I do realize that isnt true for everyone.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/3/2013 11:16:40 PM

Greta75

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She is definitely probably the classic of, thought the fantasy is nice, met a guy she's swooning over and thinking she's gonna have this dream fantasy life with him, until really full time into it, she realises it's not all rainbow and sunshines. But by that time, she's been so brainwashed into thinking she can't survive without him, that it will be difficult for her to take any serious action.

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/3/2013 11:17:01 PM

tazzygirl

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quote:

Jeff, I don't know why you are lumping yourself as one of these doms. To me, you care a whole loads about Carol feelings, and frankly, your relationship dynamic with her from your own description here seem to imply that you really respect her objections. You respect it but you are not giving up on trying to find another angle to make something you want more acceptable to her. So I don't even know why you lump yourself into this sort of slavery.

Do I seem like the "victim" type to you?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/3/2013 11:20:12 PM

tazzygirl

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She found a man who made her hot and horny, so sight unseen, she moves in with cash in hand and gives him everything, including herself. No family is looking for her. She has no contact with them at all. This has been going on for 5 years now. She just up and disappeared on her family and no one thought to look for her?

Yeah, the fantasy is great, the reality is, being a slave is hard work, and I dont mean in the physical sense.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/3/2013 11:22:53 PM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
She found a man who made her hot and horny, so sight unseen, she moves in with cash in hand and gives him everything, including herself. No family is looking for her. She has no contact with them at all. This has been going on for 5 years now. She just up and disappeared on her family and no one thought to look for her?

Her family is aware she's gone off with this guy. Obviously not approving of what she did, and usually women like these come from really bad families who really are not positive influences or support. If she defied them and just went off with this man, they would write her off, disown her and consider her dead to them. I know it's modern times, but in some Asian countries, women are still seen as a "liability", men are preferred children.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 6/3/2013 11:23:57 PM >

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/3/2013 11:25:49 PM

tazzygirl

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So she is now in a trap of her own making, having understood the rules of the society in which she lives. I empathize with her situation. I find it hard to feel sorry for her.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/3/2013 11:26:18 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
Jeff, I don't know why you are lumping yourself as one of these doms.

I am doing so because Carol is internally enslaved exactly as Tazzy and Aswad have described. What is missing is the "victim" aspect because I love her. But I'm the guy on these boards who makes no bones about controlling Carol's thoughts, feelings, emotions, and world view and being uninterested in her "consent" while I do it.

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/3/2013 11:27:51 PM

tazzygirl

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When I said consent, I mean... the only consent he needed was me consenting to be his... beyond that... no consent was ever needed on my part.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to JeffBC)

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/3/2013 11:29:06 PM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
So she is now in a trap of her own making, having understood the rules of the society in which she lives. I empathize with her situation. I find it hard to feel sorry for her.

I just feel she is unlucky. There could be many other girls like her but were lucky enough not to bump into a man like that and saw the potential.
It's the same reason why this forum always caution women about advertising their ignorance, their newness to the scene or if they are going through a broken heart or some kind of stress time, as it's like an advertisement to vultures who smell blood and easy victim.

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/3/2013 11:37:23 PM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
Jeff, I don't know why you are lumping yourself as one of these doms.

I am doing so because Carol is internally enslaved exactly as Tazzy and Aswad have described. What is missing is the "victim" aspect because I love her. But I'm the guy on these boards who makes no bones about controlling Carol's thoughts, feelings, emotions, and world view and being uninterested in her "consent" while I do it.

Well, I really see the way you handle Carol as any wise vanilla husband would do. If the wife refuses something, you don't bulldoze her into it, you change strategies and find a way to manipulate her into it so she'll do it happily, no stress, no arguments, it's a happy household. Like you do it to find a mutually happy solution.
Different from these doms, where they probably definitely want their subs to be wrecking in tears, and feel the full realization of how helpless they are.

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/3/2013 11:50:05 PM

JeffBC

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You are correct. The things that happen between Carol and I are routine things that happen in many good marriages I know. We do, however take them quite. Bit further than any normal marriage I have ever seen and your comment about "bulldozing" is debatable. . The point here is that it is not automatically abusive to internally enslave someone. Yes I have done the things described here. But motive and intent matter -- A LOT.

< Message edited by JeffBC -- 6/3/2013 11:52:53 PM >

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/3/2013 11:56:23 PM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
The point here is that it is not automatically abusive to internally enslave someone. Yes I have done the things described here. But motive and intent matter -- A LOT.

I can agree with that.
Do you know that when Carol posts, and she very rarely posts, but when she posts, it shows a very fiery strong-willed personality? I find it hard to imagine that she would be the kind of sub that is susceptible to doms like the one with this girl I was talking about.
She needed someone like you.

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 12:15:05 AM

JeffBC

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OK, Carol and I just had a good smile about your characterization. She has her fiery moments as we all do and usually what's driven her to post here is EXACTLY that sort of moment. So you're seeing a particularly fiery version of Carol here. You are correct that she is not susceptible to the kind of dommthat your are talking about but it's like an alcoholic with a bottle of tequila. She saves herself with the wisdom to avoid the situation. She's got very good asshat radar when it comes to men. She does not have the "fiery strong will" to resist. She is no victim but the tools she would use would be different than the ones I used.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 5:04:10 AM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

I don't know about "cool", but does it work, yes I believe it works with the right victim.

It works just fine with a willing and eager participant, too, as both Carol and Tazzy demonstrate.

Also, for it to qualify as "cool", the question is first and foremost the right master.

IWYW,
— Aswad.

_____________________________

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From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 5:42:27 AM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Oh no. He finally agreed to let me go. I started begging to leave 3 months after moving in. 4 years later he agreed. I left a few times, always went back... I felt like I needed him far too much, and he always took me back. We are both much happier now, I think, with our decision.

Have you ever talked to a psychologist about this?

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 5:48:32 AM

tazzygirl

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Nope. No need too. But thank you for your false concern.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to GotSteel)

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RE: Why A Slave? - 6/4/2013 8:56:54 AM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad
It works just fine with a willing and eager participant, too, as both Carol and Tazzy demonstrate.

Tazzy relationship fell apart, so that isn't considered fine, and I really don't see Carol and Jeff in the same type of relationship. Jeff really cares about her emotional welfare. I generally see such relationships where the dom is less concern about the emotional welfare of his sub because the idea is to break her down and make her feel like she has no choice, and breed her dependency on him, his not necessarily doing what is best for her mental health, and Tazzy herself admits to being sobbing mess and have left him before and gone back and forth. To me feeling content, and happy and feeling like that's where you belong is probably what "fine" is. Really takes a sub to genuinely enjoy having zero control on her life and just gets off on following orders 24/7 to be "fine".

quote:

Also, for it to qualify as "cool", the question is first and foremost the right master.

Well..., "cool" if the master is less self-oriented on what he wants, and more oriented towards keeping his slave balance and healthy.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 6/4/2013 9:01:52 AM >

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