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advice needed - 2/18/2013 3:26:59 PM

donforu

Posts: 19
Joined: 12/9/2012
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Hello to any Mistress that reads this.

I have recently been in contact with a Mistress and she has expressed
some interest in me, we have exchanged some mails but all has gone quite should
I email or wait for the mistress to contact me I really would like to make this happen
but I'm afraid of annoying her. some advice would be appreciated

kind regards sub don

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RE: advice needed - 2/18/2013 3:42:34 PM

lizi

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Joined: 2/1/2009
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How long has she been out of touch?

(in reply to donforu)

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RE: advice needed - 2/18/2013 3:52:26 PM

donforu

Posts: 19
Joined: 12/9/2012
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Hi thank you for replying. Two days but I'm just not sure if its me that should be making the effort to keep the communication going... Kinda new to this

(in reply to lizi)

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RE: advice needed - 2/18/2013 4:02:05 PM

lizi

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That's not very long, if you like you can just drop her a note and say hey..."Hi, I was thinking of you. I really enjoyed our conversation so far, hope you are having a great week," and don't push any expectations (or kink) on her. Did she say to you that she'd be in touch next and not to write her? If she didn't specify anything then I'd consider a short, friendly, email just to say hi.

There isn't a dynamic in place yet, you two are just two people talking at this point. How would you treat a situation like this for anyone else? If you'd generally write to say hi, then go ahead. She's not your Mistress yet, she's just a casual contact on the internet.

(in reply to donforu)

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RE: advice needed - 2/18/2013 4:06:36 PM

donforu

Posts: 19
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No she didn't specify any contact rules so I think ill message her tomorrow like you said

thanks for the good advice

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RE: advice needed - 2/18/2013 4:16:32 PM

lizi

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Sure, this stuff isn't really all that much different from any other dating or meeting people situation. Take the kink out and look at it that way. There shouldn't be any kink until you get to know another well enough to decide whether or not you want a relationship.

There aren't really any special rules right now, just the general ones that you use with meeting anyone. Later on if there are rules, the two of you will talk them over, she won't expect you to know what she wants by osmosis or something. Anyone who is a leader will expect to lead and teach.

(in reply to donforu)

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RE: advice needed - 2/18/2013 4:33:29 PM

donforu

Posts: 19
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I'll keep that in mind this is my first contact with a Mistress that isn't a pro domme and I'm just a little worried ill do something wrong but I definitely think a quick hello message would be the right step

(in reply to lizi)

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RE: advice needed - 2/18/2013 7:28:10 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
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Just a suggestion if you're going from pro to lifestyle domme, realize everything is no longer all about you, your kink or your dick!! You paid a pro to pretend she cared about those things, in real life relationships its no less creepy to go straight to "my dick, my kink, get me off" than random guy we just met. Keep it in your pants & focus on her while you decide like in a regular relationship if you are compatible. "Your kink preferences" are 3rd date material unless she specifically asks

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Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
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RE: advice needed - 2/18/2013 9:45:33 PM

AlittleCrazy098

Posts: 52
Joined: 3/2/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: donforu

I'll keep that in mind this is my first contact with a Mistress that isn't a pro domme and I'm just a little worried ill do something wrong but I definitely think a quick hello message would be the right step

Not to be a bummer or to rain on your parade... but you probably will. In fact, there is a very high chance that she will probably lose interest in you. Doesn't mean you did anything wrong, but the trick is to learn from your mistakes, ask questions to other people like you are now, and figure out what works for you. Hell, I was in a very similar situation as you are except I was talking to this girl for 2 weeks. She didn't respond to my message in over 5 days, logged on several times, and I was a little flustered that I didn't get a response from her. I thought I said something wrong and was annoyed with the situation. But since then, we've messaged each other a lot more than we have in the past.

< Message edited by AlittleCrazy098 -- 2/18/2013 9:47:29 PM >

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RE: advice needed - 2/19/2013 1:24:57 AM

donforu

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Thanks for the great advice all, very helpful. Honestly right now I don't care about getting off I just want to feel owned and feel like I'm being put to good use for her. Hopefully she finds me in that bag of pick and mix :)

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RE: advice needed - 2/19/2013 8:25:53 AM

theRose4U

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Another thing to remember is we can log in just for the forums & appear as though we were on the other side to realize we have mail. Unless I am looking for a message from someone I may go weeks without checking for email.

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Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

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RE: advice needed - 2/19/2013 9:01:09 AM

donforu

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Good to know theRose thank you

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