Collarchat.com

Join Our Community		 Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

Experience or Newb?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Experience or Newb? Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Experience or Newb? - 2/18/2013 5:06:03 PM   
alphaminuz


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
Status: offline 		Hello Dominants

So my question is:

As a Dominant person do you desire an experienced or a newb for a submissive? On top of that comes the why of course.
I understand that each have its benefits and down falls.

Humbly

alphaminuz
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Experience or Newb? - 2/18/2013 5:19:04 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		For me, level of experience is irrelevant. What matters is level of self-awareness and how sure the person is of what s/he/ze wants. Wish-washy, flaky, and skittish wanting-it one minute and running-from-it the next get very old, very fast. Ain't nobody got time for that.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to alphaminuz)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Experience or Newb? - 2/18/2013 5:53:15 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

Level of experience isnt a determining factor for me as well. Experienced or novice both have their own benefits and pitfalls. Im more interested in the motivation that drives a person, the self awareness of who they are, and their reality of what dominance and submission means for them. Those are the things that mean more (for me) than how experienced you are.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Experience or Newb? - 2/18/2013 5:56:23 PM   
alphaminuz


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
Status: offline 		Thank you for your posts they have both been very much appreciated

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Experience or Newb? - 2/18/2013 8:01:45 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

For me, level of experience is irrelevant. What matters is level of self-awareness and how sure the person is of what s/he/ze wants. Wish-washy, flaky, and skittish wanting-it one minute and running-from-it the next get very old, very fast. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Oh so very very much this!!!

I've had a number of newbies & a few experienced.recently learned "had experience with a pro domme that moved away" is someone to avoid in the future. Newbies take more time & effort like breaking a colt or housebreaking a puppy, but get trained MY WAY. Experience can help or hinder depending on how that person guided, skills they demanded & how heavy the expectation to "be like ___" still is. While one domme may demand a coffee wake up call, anyone waking me with coffee @ 5am is likely to get punched in the face...like tea & my beauty sleep, unless their dick set the house on fire whatever the issue is can wait for sun up!!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Experience or Newb? - 2/18/2013 8:12:34 PM   
alphaminuz


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
Status: offline 		@theRose4U

Ty for your points. I am glad to be newish because of the fact I haven't been in bad experiences a lot and can be molded into the right sub/slave for the right Domme.

Humbly
alphaminuz

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Experience or Newb? - 2/18/2013 9:30:15 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		I'm not so worried about whether a sub is experienced or a newb. I mean everyone has to start somewhere and I appreciate the sub who put up with me when I was a brand spanking new Domme.

What matters more to me is whether he has understanding of self and what he wants from a dynamic. Whether he has a clear understanding of what Dominance and submission mean to him and he can articulate that to me, so we'll know if we're on the same page.

I can understand him not knowing whether he likes something until he tries it, but this constant flitting from "yes, lets" to "no, lets not" and back to "heck, yeah!" will drive me nuts.

I will say, though, as a newer Domme compared to most on this forum, I've learned an awful lot from my experienced /s play partner.

NBMG

< Message edited by NiceButMeanGirl -- 2/18/2013 9:32:28 PM >

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to alphaminuz)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Experience or Newb? - 2/18/2013 9:36:14 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		"Flitting" is where questions become your guide. Asking what's going on in their head, why do you want x but not y when they are so similar? What is the fear today when you wanted it more than air yesterday? & being prepared to keep a straight face the first time you hear "ooooowww! An online caning never hurt like this"!!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Experience or Newb? - 2/18/2013 9:43:15 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
& being prepared to keep a straight face the first time you hear "ooooowww! An online caning never hurt like this"!!



NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Experience or Newb? - 2/19/2013 3:29:36 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		fast reply

I am sub not dom, but I couldn't resist joining in!

For me the important thing is not how much experience a person has had, but how honest they are about their level of experience and knowledge. I'd happily be with a person who openly stated they didn't know how to do things or where their limits were - we could learn together. But someone who claims to know more than they do or pretends to be super experienced when they are not, is dangerous.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Experience or Newb? - 2/19/2013 5:13:34 AM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline 		Someone having years of experience isn't a priority.
Someone being honest about not having years of experience is.

You just can't fake it and trying to can get someone seriously injured.
Don't tell me you are expert at something like fire play because you USED to do it 20 yrs ago. Pfftt....

Don't tell me you have a CPR and first aid training when you took it in high school and you are now in your 40s.

Seriously.



_____________________________

LilSquaw
Lifestyle & ProSwitch
Fetish Model, Producer, and Website Owner

http://www.clips4sale.com/69201
http://www.kinkbomb.com/studio/Sadistic_Babygirl_

(in reply to alphaminuz)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Experience or Newb? - 2/19/2013 5:28:47 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		All of the above are good answers but I have to go the other way.

At this point, I'm just plain spoiled. Don't get Me wrong. clip was new when I got him. I just also remember all it took to get him where he is today. Would I want to start that process over? Probably not.

There's a caveat to this. If somebody was working on their own education instead of waiting for Me to come along to teach them everything, I'd see it differently. Is the person out in the community learning what they can? Are they doing background research by reading? Granted, some things you are only going to learn once in a dynamic because every Dominant is an individual, but there's a lot of information you can obtain before that.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to TheLilSquaw)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Experience or Newb? - 2/19/2013 8:46:38 PM   
alphaminuz


Posts: 38
Joined: 7/14/2012
Status: offline 		WOW a lot of good info being shared here ty

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 13
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Experience or Newb? Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.537