Into Each Other then Not

Into Each Other then Not (Full Version)

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sxymdgirl -> Into Each Other then Not (2/27/2013 8:16:15 AM)
I'll try to make this as short as possible as not to take up everyone's time. Met a guy from here where I live who seemed great; we talked for a few weeks before meeting, met in person and things seemed to go pretty well. Then out of the blue he wanted nothing to do with me; doesn't want to talk, doesn't respond to anything sent to him (like an email asking if things are okay with him), total avoidance. I really liked him and thought maybe something could happen (was not looking for a relationship and told him this from the beginning) because we clicked so well. Any thoughts as to why this could have happened or what happend? Think I should try to talk to him in person or just leave it alone and move on? Any advice would be appreciated. :)

DarkSteven -> RE: Into Each Other then Not (2/27/2013 8:23:39 AM)
1. He found someone else. 2. Someone else (his wife) found him. It's over. Move on. Sorry.

chatterbox24 -> RE: Into Each Other then Not (2/27/2013 8:43:20 AM)
IT always sucks when you can't have a solid closure, always wondering what happened. You have tried to contact him, I wouldnt contact him again unless he speaks to you. I think it is so totally cowardly when people do that. How long does it take to say, Sorry but it wasnt there for me or at least some kind of reply. If you spoke, met, it was left in the air, everyone deserves at least a response. But that unfortunately is how some operate. Jackasses[:D]

sxymdgirl -> RE: Into Each Other then Not (2/27/2013 9:09:44 AM)
@DarkSteven He's not married; he is widowed (should've put that in earlier) and yes I know for a fact that he is widowed. @chatterbox24 Yeah it does suck and I agree that it is cowardly when people do that. I'd rather the person say "I'm done" than say nothing at all.

SeekingTrinity -> RE: Into Each Other then Not (2/27/2013 10:09:08 AM)
~FRing it~ Unfortunately it does happen. And yeah, it does suck when you think you have a connection with someone...only to have them up and disappear on you. But sadly people dont always treat others the way they deserve to be treated. I dont think what you are asking is unreasonable either, but some people just arent wired to treat others with even the most basic sense of decency. It could be for the reasons outlined, it could be because its one thing to talk about stuff with someone...its quite another to actually meet someone to potentially do the things you talk about. He just might not have been as serious about the talks you had as you were. I cant say for sure. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward. Best of luck to you

Baroana -> RE: Into Each Other then Not (2/27/2013 10:24:36 AM)
When it's early in a relationship, both people are still deciding whether they are attracted to each other. Maybe he realized he's not that into you. Sometimes we think at first that we're into someone, but then we change our mind about that, or vice versa. Maybe he was never all that into you, but you saw what you wanted to see. Ask yourself if you really think he is all that, or are you just stung by the fact that he rejected you first. Rejecting a person is something that almost no one is good at. Many people choose to handle it by not handling it at all.

sxymdgirl -> RE: Into Each Other then Not (2/27/2013 12:59:45 PM)
Thanks to all for your advice/input. Yes, it DOES suck that it ended just as quickly as it started but I'm not one cry over it or let it get to me too much. One of my mottos is "Not the first time nor will it be the last. I'm not going to chase anyone; if they want me, they know how to reach me." and the same goes for this person. I think it bothers/stings me because of how quickly this person was able to get to me. It's not often that I have a connection with someone and when I do have one, I'm even on more high alert BECAUSE something like this can happen (and has). I don't let many people get close to me within a few weeks; it takes years to develop that type of relationship with me. Oh well, his loss not mine :)

Baroana -> RE: Into Each Other then Not (2/27/2013 1:18:21 PM)
Play "Many a New Day" a few times (preferably the Florence Henderson recording). That helps me.

sxymdgirl -> RE: Into Each Other then Not (2/27/2013 2:27:56 PM)
Thanks Baroana, I'll check into it.

sexyred1 -> RE: Into Each Other then Not (2/27/2013 8:09:45 PM)
The thing is, many people talk for weeks and months before meeting and fantasize about the other person to such an extent, that when they finally meet in person, the fantasy is shattered. That is why I meet quickly. Early on in my online process, I used to talk for a long time and I could tell the men were getting way too into it without having met me. I used to always tell guys, whoa, hold on, don't fall in love or lust without meeting in person. So, that might have happened. Of course it does not help that he was a coward who chose avoidance rather than being a big boy and telling you that the chemistry was not what he wanted/thought.

sxymdgirl -> RE: Into Each Other then Not (3/1/2013 8:11:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 The thing is, many people talk for weeks and months before meeting and fantasize about the other person to such an extent, that when they finally meet in person, the fantasy is shattered. That is why I meet quickly. Early on in my online process, I used to talk for a long time and I could tell the men were getting way too into it without having met me. I used to always tell guys, whoa, hold on, don't fall in love or lust without meeting in person. So, that might have happened. Of course it does not help that he was a coward who chose avoidance rather than being a big boy and telling you that the chemistry was not what he wanted/thought. This is true as I've had this happen as well. I talked with someone for 3+ years before we finally met and it was great; however the fantasy shattered due to my indecisiveness about some things and ended not on good terms (good thing is this person and I are still good friends and he has found someone who makes him very happy). It's very possible that that's what happened in this situation, that this guy thought one thing and it ended up being something else for him. I have no issue with him changing his mind; however I DO have a problem when he changes his mind and cannot say something to me and let me know this. If he had said "Look, I think I rushed into this too fast, I want a break...", whatever it may have been, I would've been fine with that and would have given him space or whatever it is that he wanted/needed. It's not like we were in a relationship or anything of that sort. I would've tried to talk to him about it, figure out how to get past whatever it was and go from there or would've said 'Okay, that's fine' and go about my merry way (which I'm doing anyway). However it IRKS me that he didn't say anything; I'd rather know where I stood than not know anything at all.

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Into Each Other then Not (3/1/2013 1:36:26 PM)
Did he have any experience with BDSM in real life?

sxymdgirl -> RE: Into Each Other then Not (3/1/2013 8:49:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle Did he have any experience with BDSM in real life? Yes; he had many years experience as he's older than I am (16 yrs) and his wife (she passed away unfortunately some yrs ago) was a Pro Domme. He's done things that I never even thought about or wanted to try. I won't go too much into detail regarding it but we'll say that no stone was left unturned lol.

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Into Each Other then Not (3/2/2013 4:21:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sxymdgirl quote: ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle Did he have any experience with BDSM in real life? Yes; he had many years experience as he's older than I am (16 yrs) and his wife (she passed away unfortunately some yrs ago) was a Pro Domme. He's done things that I never even thought about or wanted to try. I won't go too much into detail regarding it but we'll say that no stone was left unturned lol. Well then, my guess would be that either something serious happened to him that would make it impossible for him to communicate with you (have you ruled out that possibility?) or he saw something in you that made him realize that you and he are not compatible and chose to deal with it in the dickweed manner. If the latter, it doesn't say much for him, but as so many women say to men's questions about why so many women never answer their emails, no answer IS your answer. Shake the dust off your sandals and move on.

sxymdgirl -> RE: Into Each Other then Not (3/3/2013 4:27:38 AM)
Well to update, he did talk to me finally but only briefly and I now know the reason as to why he stopped talking to me/backed off. I won't get into details but basically our attraction to each other became too much to him too fast and it scared him. Also because of some issues dealing with my past, he decided to walk away. So at least now I can say that I know what happened and why. I can't be upset with his decision; he felt that I wouldn't be able to give him what he wants and/or is looking for. It's true that I might not have been able to give him that but there's really no way of knowing without trying. But at least I can say I know now and the sting is no longer there.

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