RE: I don't know what I should do now...

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abeautifullife -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 5:06:59 AM)
Well, Calandra, ahem, oh yes I learn every day. But before I address your comment, as a regular person, not engaged in fantasy, but in the real world, I'll quickly reply to some posts here in a measured, efficient manner: additional background being important for the discussion, I already had taken steps before I left that would minimize any potential ripoff to almost nothing (fiscal controls are WONDERFUL!). Like going to the casino for an evening of fun, you might win or lose, but at theend of the night, you can still afford to get a late dinner, adn fill the tank for the ride home. Got busy (working for a living, good for your soul!), so could't do a "Crossfire" type response, so, let me dish back: AAkasha, not impressed, did you make that up yourself, or did you have to get it from a competing website? Lucky Albatross, it's all under control, FIRM CONTROL, let your heart not be troubled. Lashra, very smart woman you are, now that's an asset to the discussion! MichaelGA2, it's great when the subs chime in with good advice. I can see a conversation with you would be very enjoyable. GoddessDustyGold, ..."it takes all kinds of people", getting into the lifestyle completely, like any other significant change in life, sometimes has its bumps. The good folks far outnumber the bad, but there are some bad apples. LadyMorgynn, very quick (5 days, huh? gonna be hard to be a pro if you cannot keep clients longer than that...) to spout off things that cannot be supported, oh and don't forget something I heard you say once, "a contract isn't necessary". Folks, that sounds like something a con artist might say, but I don't know you that well LM. Maybe you are, maybe you're not. Straighten that hair up. Mistress Hathor, you must like that "yeah, get him" stoning bandwagon, bet you're the last one in line for the local team's merchandise right before that final playoff game. sweetnurseBBW, your sympathy is pointed in the wrong direction, Lady Morgynn is no victim. Just someone who has "dreams of superiority". MistressDiane, if you ever want to know the other side of the story, then why don't you ask me, hmmmmm? Mistress Hathor, it is Lady Morgynn's dishonesty that becomes really nauseating. Generally the first person to run and say, "I didn't do it", might have been the person committing the crime. Just as I told MistressDiane, if you ever want to know the other side of the story, why don't you ask me? MsWillAdore, I would love to debate you sometime, the janitors would be sweeping you out with the dirt on the floor at the end of the debate with what you had left of your cocky attitude, running home with your tail between your legs. MistressOfGa, Anytime you would like a one on one conversation, I would be glad to help you change your perspective to a much more accurate and complete picture of myself. Gossiping is bad. stef, do you know what real courtesy is? I am not sure you do, or if you've ever been to Paris. TexasMaam, Forums are a place for interaction between people. All opinions are welcome, but personal attacks really aren't beneficial in a thread meant to educate, I'm only responding to the attacks on me here. Instead of speculating who I am, ask me direct questions and you will get no-nonsense direct answers. Fakery is not in my character SORRY. sophia37, no you aren't throwing stones, just adding to the conversation, and welcomed. Calandra, (catching my breath) I would have never imagined you to be anyone who was dishonest, or misleading, or misrepresenting, or twisting the facts; but you proved my perception definately wrong. Problem is, you don't have any direct facts of any of this situation, so shut up already. Enticing with offers to meet for lunch, come now, that was not believable either. You give yourself and your motivation away, Ma'am. People are very much like investments, in many respects: some are sure bets, some have good track records, some are ok if you like a little risk in your portfolio, and some are very high risk investments. Always check with your financial advisor before making any investment, and so you should also engage your friends (if you can) and get their opinions also. The more information the better. Everything is great with me, and any damage was just short term emotional mainly. Everyone has a desire to want to give trust. And risk is a part of life. There are many things that you can do to minimize the risks to your mental, physical, and financial health as you look for those special people in the lifestyle you wish to interact with. I know, that dominant side in me coming through again...

ShiftedJewel -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 5:40:33 AM)
I would have to say that you started off here on the wrong foot... and in the wrong place. The simple fact that you did a complete one-eighty says something. You went from begging and flirting to virtually attacking in a short breath. That tells us a lot about you. There are just some things that one simply doesn't do... and you did it. LadyM did what so few are willing to do.. she stepped in and gave "her" side of the story. And since most of us have "known" her in some way or another for quite a while and she has proven herself repeatedly to be an honest person then we are most likely going to go with the most consistant point of honesty... that's only logical. Then there's the fact that you continued your quest for destruction of her reputation in private emails to other female dominants here speaks loudly of emotional issues. You really aren't doing yourself any good by continuing to belittle her or any one else here. No, we aren't necessarily cliquish here... but we do defend our own. There are people that have been here for a very long time and have contributed wonderful advice and great wisdom to these boards... Perhaps opening your eyes and closing your mouth would be a benefit for you, the possibility exists that you can still redeem yourself and in the process you may even learn something. *Jewel*

LongArms -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 5:53:18 AM)
Now that is what I would call a smoking 180 degree turn around. First a claim of financial ruin and then bragging about financial controls in place. Can't even keep the story straight. Best advice, cease the attacks on everyone who responds and seek the professional help you apparently need. What I see on this thread is not a person seeking submission with dominant streaks, but rather one who seeks to control from beneath. Whether ones place in life is on top or bottom, you must first (and foremost) become comfortable with who YOU are and what you are. I honestly hope you one day find your true self and pity any who tries to take you in while you are raving about with no direction in life.

abeautifullife -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 6:18:46 AM)
When there are personal attacks, especially when it borders on libel, there is nothing wrong with defending oneself, Jewel. I know my place, and, in good hands, I have always stayed there; obedient, trustworthy, and honest. I know what complete submission is, and compliance, and no, no pyschiatry today please. A good bowl of cereal with a friend is wonderful today, thank you.

abeautifullife -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 6:24:25 AM)
LongArms, the story is crystal clear, and yes, I did take some steps, but not the most important one: a thorough investigation of the person I was going to be with. Moved too fast. Protecting personal financial data after any separation from a person with whom you had comingled or shared financial information is a prudent step, not indicative of assigning blame or creating any type of impression for others. I am certain you do not hold a degree in psychology, otherwise, you would be dispensing advice in an office, and not in an internet chatroom. I do not have all the answers, and I am still learning the right questions to ask. I guess I am ready for anyone else who would like to throw stones, also...

mnottertail -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 6:31:32 AM)
I will cast the first stone........ This modus operandi will not get you alotta girls, pal. You may want to overhaul the whole shit-o-ree and work along the lines of truth, honesty, fair dealing, pleasantry.....that sort of thing. Accounting professional? My ass......... Ronne (Domme by fiat)

abeautifullife -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 6:32:56 AM)
Jewel, On any ordinary day, I am calm, quiet, and do far more listening than speaking. I was here long ago, have met many great people, was away for a couple of yeard, but back to stay, and nice to meet you, too. Sometimes the match is not good, but you do not have sufficient information to draw any reasonable conclusions. LadyMorgynn left many facts off the table, but also placed facts here that are simply blatant lies, and she was not the only one. I am not attacking anyone, simply defending myself from an unwarranted vicious personal attack in this thread that I could no longer countenance. I did not come out making personal attacks against anyone in this thread, I have merely responded honestly, and openly. Of all virtues, honesty is one of the best...

abeautifullife -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 6:35:47 AM)
Mnottertail, I am not making any personal attacks, but once again, I get another one. Bring it on, I have a high pain tolerance...

AAkasha -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 6:37:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: abeautifullife LongArms, the story is crystal clear, and yes, I did take some steps, but not the most important one: a thorough investigation of the person I was going to be with. Moved too fast. Protecting personal financial data after any separation from a person with whom you had comingled or shared financial information is a prudent step, not indicative of assigning blame or creating any type of impression for others. I am certain you do not hold a degree in psychology, otherwise, you would be dispensing advice in an office, and not in an internet chatroom. I do not have all the answers, and I am still learning the right questions to ask. I guess I am ready for anyone else who would like to throw stones, also... What a complete fruit loop. You did not know what you posted above before you came on here a couple days ago asskissing and offering to move in with another total stranger? You were living in a total fantasyland, already "in scene" with any femdom that would acknowledge you. You wanted that fantasy so bad. If I had given you a list of commands you would have followed them blindly. Now, you come in here all bitter and bent out of shape, and suddenly you have found a spine. Ladies, this is the kind of sociopath to avoid. Those that are completely spewing all this fawning and garbage and come off as the "submissively-ess" man in the world are the ones that do a 180 and turn vile, mean and nasty. In real life, this turnaround can be pretty ugly to witness and borders on dangerous. Fair warning to any lady who wants to give this nut a second chance. Akasha

mnottertail -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 6:42:32 AM)
Hear! Hear!

abeautifullife -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 6:44:36 AM)
AAkasha, see you start with name-calling, and it completely undermines your point. tsk, tsk don't you know that name calling is very childish. Sounds to me like you need a good spanking...

Wulfchyld -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 6:47:19 AM)
Hands Ron popcorn and beer Intriguing isn't it?

abeautifullife -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 6:48:01 AM)
mnottertail, really? If you were a Dominant worth your salt, you would be simply watching and observing. You should get to know one, I am certain you could proably learn a thing or two.

mnottertail -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 6:52:12 AM)
well it is apparent that you know what you are going to do, and that is to auger this motherfucker into the ground, thereby slashing and burning any chance of finding a wonderful life in the service of a good woman... You go to it, it will be your 'beautiful life'.

LadyHugs -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 6:57:04 AM)
Dear Ladies and Gentlemen, The thread is not going anywhere but downhill quality but, there are very important points for both the dominant and submissive parties. It is always sound advice to use patience in any life changing choice. You also need to see what you are going to be involved with on both sides, so there should be a separation period but, living close enough to be in service but, not living together like "thrown" in and mixed with the rest of the salad. Adding in, it takes years to be a good dominant that is 'lifestyle.' Novice lifestyle dominants learn more from early mistakes and stripping expectations down to reality. And, the slaves need to understand that, and not pit them against seasoned dominants. And, there is a difference between a 'scene' dominant and lifestyle dominant. At least a scene dominant can walk away and have small doses of submission but, lifestyle dominants have no ability to walk away--this is a commitment outside the dungeon as well as inside the dungeon. Really is all about being patient, do your research, don't commit until you spend a lot of time with someone face to face. Look at the positives not just the negatives. Learn, live and seek happiness. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

abeautifullife -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 6:59:06 AM)
OK, my final piece, no need to rile up all the Dominants on the site. I learned my lesson, got some good advice, and, as on any bulletin board, plenty of grief, sarcasm, and criticism. Aren't opinions great? No need to stay on the point, hopefully someone will gain some good advice, there was plenty dispensed on this thread. So that all may know: I have sent no negative private emails to any of those not directly related to the events that prompted the thread to begin with, and the encouragement I received to stand up for myself has gone a very long way. It is the nature of a true submissive to comply, and I do so with sincerity to whom I serve. Remember, get that contract! Having all the conditions set before you begin any LTR, including pre-nuptial agreements for marriage, are important for providing boundaries and assurances for both parties. well wishes to a/All...

wild1cfl -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 7:11:34 AM)
abeautifullife, A few words of wisdom from an old latin phrase, "Oh si tacuisses, si mansisses, si philosophus" Oh if you had remained silent you would have remained a philosopher. At this point my advice to you is to shut up, put your tail between your legs, and move on. You have really done yourself a disservice with your latest postings. I am just going to sit her and watch the next episode of "As the paddle turns" it really is quite intriguing.

Evanesce -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 7:14:27 AM)
quote: I have always been a slave, no one lets my dominant side come out because it interferes with my submission, This is just sad. How can you be "whole" if part of you must remain suppressed? I guess I should be thanking my lucky stars I have a Master who not only allows, but encourages, my dominant streak - to the point that the next slave who enters His house will belong to me, as well as Him. (personally, I'd rather have a switchy slave, because it makes for much more interesting playtime potential) OK, ignore all that, 'cause I just read the rest of the thread, and the guy's not winning any points here.

marieToo -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 7:32:01 AM)
Hey...Is this the guy with the whole shower and hair deal?

Evanesce -> RE: I don't know what I should do now... (6/25/2006 7:32:18 AM)
quote: once he was at my feet, that very first 5 minutes, all those doubts fell away. Over those 3 weeks, I found my feet and was coming up with ways to deal with slave's insecurities, to help him rein in and control his runaway emotions. And actually, I was doing VERY well, but since he was an over-the-road trucker, I could not BE there to force him into compliance, with the result that away from me he was always on the rollercoaster, and I couldn't yank him off it like I could when he was here. Perhaps if I had been a more experienced Domme I would have been able to handle him more effectively... or perhaps a more experienced Domme would have gotten a clue faster and dumped him sooner, I don't know. Even a more experienced dominant would have had difficulty dealing with this one. Just the fact that he is an OTR trucker makes it practically impossible to maintain a D/s or M/s relationship. It compounds even minor problems exponentially. I know. My Master is an OTR trucker, and I'm left to my own devices for twelve days out of every 14. Sometimes even longer. What we've learned over the last 3 years of His being gone is that, without the daily face-to-face, it's extremely difficult to maintain the M/s dynamics of our relationship. It's too easy for one or the other to slack off, because who's going to know? By the time He gets home, He'd either have forgotten any infraction I may have done, or it just doesn't seem all that important, because He'd rather be snuggling than punishing. Thank goodness I'm usually very well behaved. If He'd had a slave who wasn't really committed to being his slave, then I'm sure He'd end up in the same type of position in which you found yourself - unable to maintain control because the slave was unable or unwilling to BE a slave. I think you've learned something valuable here, and it will make selecting the next one much, much easier for you.

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