RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play?

RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (Full Version)

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[Poll]

How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play?

Dominant female: It's a failure were he not to reach orgasm

2% (3)

Dominant female: He is not allowed an orgasm (unless I say so).

12% (15)

Dominant male: It's a failure were she not to reach orgasm

23% (28)

Dominant male: She is not allowed an orgasm (unless I say so).

14% (17)

Submissive female: It's a failure were I not to reach orgasm

8% (10)

Submissive female: It's OK if I do not reach orgasmic delight.

17% (21)

Submissive male: It's a failure were I not to reach orgasm

3% (4)

Submissive male: It's OK if I do not reach orgasmic delight.

16% (20)

Total Votes : 118

(last vote on : 9/7/2016 12:57:41 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

Message

GotSteel -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/21/2013 6:05:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne There is no failure in sex! What you call, "failure," I call - inspiration to keep trying. Practice, practice! Oh there are some epic fails. http://www.11points.com/Dating-Sex/11_Unbelievably_Insane_Deaths_During_Sex

Cilicia -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/21/2013 8:29:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GotSteel Oh there are some epic fails. http://www.11points.com/Dating-Sex/11_Unbelievably_Insane_Deaths_During_Sex Here's a quick summary: 1. Kenneth Pinyan died when horse cock perforated his colon 2. Kirsten Taylor died of nipple clamps attached to 120v power strip 3. Ralph Santiago died of suffocation wearing a gas mask inhaling poppers 4. Attila the Hun died of a broken nose during sex???? <=== proof requested 5. Chelsea Tumblest (apropos name) fell off a roof during sex 6. Tracey Scully called out the wrong name during sex & her husband killed her for it 7. Felix Faure, president of France, died during oral sex 8. Lu of China hada heart attack outside outside in the cold while masturbating 9. Stefanie Tanzer died of carbon monoxide poisoning having sex in a car in a garage 10. Sergey Tuganov died of a heart attack after ingesting "a bottle of Viagra" The unbelievable ones, to me, are the first three; the rest seem like normal murders and run-of-the-mill Darwinian selection episodes.

Cilicia -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/21/2013 8:33:41 AM)
Back on topic, I should note that I spoke with a Domme who said it was "okay if I masturbated" after she removed the cock cage (that I don't have yet). That, to me, means that 'my' orgasm is somewhat important to her, in our D/s play.

Hillwilliam -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/21/2013 9:05:08 AM)
Back to the op. It depends on my mood whether the sub doesn't cum at all, cums once or twice or cums so many times she has to call red before she passes out.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/21/2013 9:10:53 AM)
fast reply If we are having sex, he wants me to have an orgasm. Some people feel powerful by withholding, he feels powerful by giving. This is especially true since I can't do it myself and so it is his sole domain. That said, D/s is present in all of our lives and most of the time it has nothing to do with sex. If we are having some kinky play, it often but not always becomes sex. So it's not necessary in play. Every now and then he'll have a blowjob on demand, which obviously doesn't include an orgasm for me.

GotSteel -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/22/2013 8:26:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: intellisubbear While the votes are only at about 50, I find it interesting that the Dominant females don't feel orgasm is anywhere near as important for their partners as do the Dominant males to date. 1 Dominant female felt it was important while 15 Dominant males did. This explains a lot! Don't get me wrong I feel bad for submissive males, seems like you guys really get the short end of the stick. That said the poll in no way said that orgasm wasn't important, there wasn't an option for that. The poll was about whether D/s play is a failure were he/she not to reach orgasm. People who have had enjoyable scenes at clubs/play parties should be disagreeing with that statement. For instance last time we went to a club nobody had an orgasm, I mean Christ on a stick it was a public space. But she creamed her chastity belt so bad the secondary shield was completely full, I wouldn't call that a failure.

MadameMarque -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/24/2013 12:47:04 AM)
It would be more accurate to say that the submissive's excitement is important to me. If the submissive weren't at least as excited as I, I would consider that a problem. Also, whereas I enjoy teasing, orgasm control, and control over the submissive's authority over their own body, among many other scenes, I also want to use the submissive sexually, so perpetual chastity would interfere with that. Besides, I just can't relate to someone being denied sexually all the time or wanting to be. I think it would be a mismatch between us, in personal chemistry. And, too, for me, that would be a bit "all about the submissive," in a backhanded sort of way. This is not to say that D/s begins or ends with the act of sex; for me, not at all so. But I will say, I can be very turned on by someone doing something entirely nonsexual for me that's purely submissive. To answer this question in essence, and to Cilicia, who posed the question, "does a TYPICAL male:Domme encounter involve the male getting off?" , different people are just wired differently. Not every dominant is into denial for their submissives, nor all we all indifferent to the submissive's sexuality or sexual release - or our own! On the other hand, not every dominant or submissive wants physical sexual relations with their BDSM. And then, for some of us the question is, is there such a thing as sex with No BDSM? Really, there are about as many specific scenes and kinks and preferences as there are inidividuals or pairs of people. But what I think you can rightfully say about anyone into bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, or sadomasochism, is that, in one sense or another, it gets them off! quote: FrostedFlake It seems there are two kinds of people. Those who think kink is about getting off and those who spout unbelievable bullshit. http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4406184

Kana -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/24/2013 6:28:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam Back to the op. It depends on my mood whether the sub doesn't cum at all, cums once or twice or cums so many times she has to call red before she passes out. Now, Hilly, how can she be crying red when her mouth's stuffed with a cock gag. Or are you getting soft in your dotage?

xssve -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/24/2013 8:51:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blankpain If it's not about sex, then it's merely art. If it's not about art, then it's merely sex. Not that there's anything wrong with that... [:D]

RumpusParable -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/25/2013 4:36:33 AM)
None of these apply to my relationships directly... my D/s relationships aren't focused around sex and my top/bottom play is almost never sexual in any way at all. Neither of us get aroused to begin with, neither of us are doing it because we find it sexy. So, when my normal partners don't orgasm during play it isn't a failure or a denial... it was never part of our desires or expectations for either one of us to begin with. Just like it wasn't for me to, either.

WebWanderer -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/25/2013 6:39:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RumpusParable my D/s relationships aren't focused around sex and my top/bottom play is almost never sexual in any way at all. Neither of us get aroused to begin with, neither of us are doing it because we find it sexy. Same here! [sm=waves.gif] I've actually met some people who seriously thought that the S in BDSM stood for sex. [sm=ofcourse.gif] I'm asexual. For me, BDSM is a great way to unwind, to please another, to experience genuine human connection without the added bullshit of social rituals and fake pleasantries.

orgasmdenial12 -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/26/2013 2:01:18 PM)
My lack of orgasm is very important - I would not play with somebody who insisted on me orgasming.

Alltiedup411 -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/26/2013 6:52:41 PM)
When I'm on top it isn't so much if she does or doesn't. It's a matter of how many different ways can I bring her to climax without touching her genitalia. And how many times.

TAFKAA -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/29/2013 8:51:03 AM)
Orgasmic delight? I'm afraid that, at this point, I'm laughing too much to take your poll all that seriously.

Snitch -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/29/2013 9:16:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TAFKAA Orgasmic delight? My orgasm is in someone not having theirs!

LookieNoNookie -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (3/29/2013 5:19:17 PM)
Well, as the sub, I find the orgasm quite significant. Substantial, even.

jpin -> RE: How important is a submissive's orgasm in your D/s play? (4/18/2013 12:27:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cilicia quote: ORIGINAL: GotSteel Oh there are some epic fails. http://www.11points.com/Dating-Sex/11_Unbelievably_Insane_Deaths_During_Sex Here's a quick summary: 1. Kenneth Pinyan died when horse cock perforated his colon 2. Kirsten Taylor died of nipple clamps attached to 120v power strip 3. Ralph Santiago died of suffocation wearing a gas mask inhaling poppers 4. Attila the Hun died of a broken nose during sex???? <=== proof requested 5. Chelsea Tumblest (apropos name) fell off a roof during sex 6. Tracey Scully called out the wrong name during sex & her husband killed her for it 7. Felix Faure, president of France, died during oral sex 8. Lu of China hada heart attack outside outside in the cold while masturbating 9. Stefanie Tanzer died of carbon monoxide poisoning having sex in a car in a garage 10. Sergey Tuganov died of a heart attack after ingesting "a bottle of Viagra" The unbelievable ones, to me, are the first three; the rest seem like normal murders and run-of-the-mill Darwinian selection episodes. I find the first three believable. Anal fissures are common for rough anal sex/too big too fast.....a horse? that could certainly perforate! And electricity is VERY dangerous......

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