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EligibleOwner -> RE: Is being let down part of the job of being a Dom (4/12/2013 7:17:25 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: matt1978
Hello, I think my profile is quite well rounded and when I email subs/slaves the response sometimes is quite positive.
After a couple emails when a maybe date is arranged everything goes silent. If it happened just the once then I'll put it down to nerves but it has happened quite a few times now.
This does sound a bit strange. I can remember only one time ever setting a date with a woman who's just not turned up. I think women generally are more aware than men on the web that they're interacting with real people, and will not want to just leave you high and dry waiting for them.
There's nothing wrong with your profile and it doesn't sound as though you're coming across oddly, but if this has happened a few times I wonder if there's not some explanation. It's just hard to work out what it could be.
So forgive me if I speculate seriously wildly.
I wonder what you mean (if you did mean anything) by a "maybe date". Are you not communicating clearly somehow about what's happening? You also say this is after a couple of e-mails, and I wonder if you're tending to suggest meetings very early, when a few more messages would help both sides. And you talk about things going silent, when exactly that (a vague arrangement of some sort is made, then there's silence) is what women experience from men all the time, and I think dislike. I notice in real, non-kinky, non-dating life that women will often check that an arrangement is still going ahead, when I just assume it is. I wonder if somehow these women think you're the one who's gone silent, and that it's you who needs to make things clear.
I wonder if this is what's happening: after a very quick exchange, you suggest a meeting that somehow has a non-definite aspect to it ("Hey, we could meet next Sunday afternoon for a coffee on the south bank or something") which she says sounds good - but it's a week or more away, and you don't actually come back to her to fix the details, or continue with a further e-mail or two in the week to let her know you're looking forward to it and reassure her it's happening. Then you just assume it is. If it's like this, I could imagine them thinking you're the silent one, and would see why they wouldn't show at a date they don't know is really happening, and think you've forgotten about or never properly fixed.
On munches, I agree this is good advice, and I'm sure some munches are terrific. I'm completely off-scene, as one or two others have said. I tried a munch once, in London as it happens, but it absolutely did not live up to what the organisers said about it being welcoming. I'm a confident person but found it the most difficult social event I can remember, and have felt no wish to go back. I might try again one day. But like Matt, I suspect women who might like me are mostly not there anyway.
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