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Confused about what my position is? - 4/7/2013 8:55:58 PM

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Hey everyone, I am new to this but have some experience. I definitely am not a master and I'm not really into the bondage/slave thing. However I love being take by a women with a strap on and being railed hard. So I guess I am confused at how I should approach this. I don't want pain, just pure pleasure but I want a dominate women to take me. Any advice would be helpful. thanks

RE: Confused about what my position is? - 4/7/2013 9:36:12 PM

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You're a Dom if you like having control. You're a sub if you like giving control. Being pegged is associated with being submissive but it's not a 100% correlation.

So do you want to have power, or give it?

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RE: Confused about what my position is? - 4/8/2013 11:11:41 AM

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This came up when a domme friend of mine would discuss with me various sexual positions she enjoyed and how she felt they weren't domme enough. For instance doggy style, think about it, you're on your hands and knees being penetrated from behind and most would associate the one doing the penetrating is dominant but this isn't always the case.

Intention, it's all about intention when it comes to what you enjoy. Do you intent to relinquish power? Or exert it?

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RE: Confused about what my position is? - 4/8/2013 4:39:53 PM

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quote:

but I want a dominate women to take me. Any advice would be helpful. thanks

My first advice would be to learn the difference between a verb and an adjective.

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RE: Confused about what my position is? - 4/8/2013 7:52:58 PM

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~FRing it~

Sounds like you are a bottom possibly. But I wouldn't go much further than that based on what I've read that you have written. Sounds like you just want some woman to fuck your ass, but she doesn't necessarily have to be a dominant female to do it though.

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

RE: Confused about what my position is? - 4/9/2013 11:01:35 AM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

My first advice would be to learn the difference between a verb and an adjective.

How very helpful.

</sarcasm>

IWYW,
— Aswad.

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RE: Confused about what my position is? - 4/11/2013 11:15:48 AM

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I don't see that you either want to be the leader or the follower in the relationship.
What I see is that you enjoy being the receiver of kinky sex. Which makes you a bottom as opposed to a top.

And if you don't want to have your posts constantly derailed, do learn the difference between dominate and dominant. Because for many of us it's like waving a red flag in front of a bull.

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RE: Confused about what my position is? - 4/11/2013 11:59:07 AM

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My question to you is why is a label necessary?

The next is is it the physical sensations you enjoy, the head space from having her rail your ass hard or both?

Many men like ass play of some kind, in part because there are nerve endings and stimulating them is pleasurable for some, and for men, there is also the anatomical perk of having a prostate gland, which for some guys is exquisitely delightful to have stimulated.

Not all kinky sex needs to have neat and tidy labels; real life tends to be messier.

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RE: Confused about what my position is? - 4/14/2013 1:54:03 AM

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possible primal, or bottom?

I don't mind a finger round the back once in awhile. So it doesn't really matter your "Label" you like what you like.

< Message edited by zpenguin -- 4/14/2013 1:56:24 AM >

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RE: Confused about what my position is? - 4/14/2013 2:30:09 PM

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I would say your position is "on all fours taking it up the ass."

Seriously though - you are probably just kinky. I know a lot of vanilla girlfriends that are pretty open minded and they know what I am into, and if they were with a guy and he was "wild" in bet and every once in awhile wanted to do some experimental strap on stuff, they wouldn't mind and would go along with it. You need a woman who is experimental in bed and isn't hung up on a role - she is just experimental, open minded, adventurous.

Alternatively, you can have a traditional sex life and see a professional dominatrix that engages in this kind of play, as long as it is legal in your area, and scratch your itch that way. or find a play partner who is just into the sensations involved in this kind of BDSM without the power exchange - but to be honest, a lot of femdoms want more than just a man to penetrate, and so many men would line up for that kind of play, she'd want more than just a fling.

Akasha

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RE: Confused about what my position is? - 5/7/2013 11:58:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: arod123

Hey everyone, I am new to this but have some experience. I definitely am not a master and I'm not really into the bondage/slave thing. However I love being take by a women with a strap on and being railed hard. So I guess I am confused at how I should approach this. I don't want pain, just pure pleasure but I want a dominate women to take me. Any advice would be helpful. thanks

My advice is simply to put what you say here in your profile. There is no right or wrong to any of this. It's simply about expressing what you want and then finding someone compatible. A lot of people try to figure out the precise thing to say to extract others, but if you're playing a role you don't really like you won't sustain. Just be yourself and don't worry what label to give yourself.

(in reply to arod123)

RE: Confused about what my position is? - 5/23/2013 2:00:21 PM

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I am going to agree with most here and say you are primarily kinky.

Beyond that, again, as others have said, if you like to give orders, you are a dom, if you like to take them, you are a sub, and if you like to change rolls you are a switch.

I've known dominants who like to be tied up from time to time, but have EXPLICIT orders for their sub/slaves on how they want it. They are no less dominant, as they are defining the scene.

(in reply to seekingreality)

RE: Confused about what my position is? - 5/25/2013 6:06:59 AM

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Its easy to get caught up in semantics. It used to drive me nuts wondering what I was, and frankly IM still not completely sure on some days.
Some people just don't fit completely into a nice neat package.

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RE: Confused about what my position is? - 6/23/2013 1:00:10 PM

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Can't you just explore what you enjoy? Pain doesn't have to be part of it if you don't enjoy it. She can just "rail" you till your heart's content, surely? :) Just state what you want from the outset. You seem like you know what you want.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Confused about what my position is? - 6/24/2013 9:36:59 AM

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The sub is often, no, usually the person in overall control. Don't worry about it just say honestly what you want in your approaches.

(in reply to paulio96)

RE: Confused about what my position is? - 6/24/2013 12:46:30 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: arod123

Hey everyone, I am new to this but have some experience. I definitely am not a master and I'm not really into the bondage/slave thing. However I love being take by a women with a strap on and being railed hard. So I guess I am confused at how I should approach this. I don't want pain, just pure pleasure but I want a dominate women to take me. Any advice would be helpful. thanks

You haven't been pegged yet, have you?

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RE: Confused about what my position is? - 6/26/2013 2:17:35 PM

absolutchocolat

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^That's what I was thinking! Lol. Or, if he has, he hasn't had it done correctly.

(in reply to BambiBoi)

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