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Submissive topping - 4/14/2013 12:21:28 PM   
knottyboundgirl


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Sometimes my Dom enjoys relaxing by allowing me to top him. I enjoy providing this service, and I've found I more than enjoy it at times. My problem is he always seems to withdraw after.

This is the first D/s relationship I've had I've explored this side, so in this aspect I am new. I am not new to D/s, and have been in longterm (over 2+ years full time each) D/s relationships.

Any advice?

< Message edited by knottyboundgirl -- 4/14/2013 12:22:28 PM >
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RE: Submissive topping - 4/14/2013 12:27:17 PM   
lizi


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Point out the withdrawal in a non-confrontational way and ask him what's up. *Snuggling up to him,* "Gosh hon, whenever we do that kind of play where I'm in charge you seem to be pretty quiet after, does something about it bother you? Is there something I should be aware of? Something I can do differently?"

If you're in charge for that portion of the program, I'd think you'd be fully warranted to watch out for your charge's mental state of mind and ask after it.

(in reply to knottyboundgirl)
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RE: Submissive topping - 4/14/2013 12:31:26 PM   
knottyboundgirl


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I need to clarify, it isn't immediately after. After he is fine. Very relaxed and happy.

It's the following week or two. It goes beyond a normal drop that may be expected. He simply withdraws.

(in reply to lizi)
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RE: Submissive topping - 4/14/2013 12:35:00 PM   
lizi


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Ok, well my thinking on it doesn't change at all. Ask him.
If it's something related to the event, then you as the top need to know...and you in a relationship with him need to know since it sounds like it's bugging you.

(in reply to knottyboundgirl)
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RE: Submissive topping - 4/14/2013 5:43:16 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


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Seems like a long delay for bottom drop? Has he ever done this without you having topped him? How long does it last and what's the recovery like?

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RE: Submissive topping - 4/14/2013 6:24:09 PM   
knottyboundgirl


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No he has not ever done this without me having topped him. I don't believe it to be bottom drop. It can last up to two weeks when he seems to bounce back.

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RE: Submissive topping - 4/15/2013 10:43:41 PM   
msj2u


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Hello knottyboundgirl,

I agree, you need to have a long conversation with him. That being said, My 2 cents to this is perhaps He feels at a loss because He has chosen the Dom role and allowing you to top Him makes him question his role the more he thinks about it.

Best of luck to both of you,
MSJ



I'm the One your mother didn't tell you about

(in reply to knottyboundgirl)
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RE: Submissive topping - 4/16/2013 6:26:40 AM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: msj2u

Hello knottyboundgirl,

I agree, you need to have a long conversation with him. That being said, My 2 cents to this is perhaps He feels at a loss because He has chosen the Dom role and allowing you to top Him makes him question his role the more he thinks about it.

Best of luck to both of you,
MSJ



I'm the One your mother didn't tell you about


This is what came to mind.

You mention you've discovered enjoying more than you expected, he may be in the same boat. Or he feels guilty in some way.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to msj2u)
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