Submissive topping

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Submissive topping

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Switch >> Submissive topping

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Submissive topping - 4/14/2013 12:21:28 PM

knottyboundgirl

Posts: 3
Joined: 2/27/2013
Status: offline

Sometimes my Dom enjoys relaxing by allowing me to top him. I enjoy providing this service, and I've found I more than enjoy it at times. My problem is he always seems to withdraw after.

This is the first D/s relationship I've had I've explored this side, so in this aspect I am new. I am not new to D/s, and have been in longterm (over 2+ years full time each) D/s relationships.

Any advice?

< Message edited by knottyboundgirl -- 4/14/2013 12:22:28 PM >

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Submissive topping - 4/14/2013 12:27:17 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

Point out the withdrawal in a non-confrontational way and ask him what's up. *Snuggling up to him,* "Gosh hon, whenever we do that kind of play where I'm in charge you seem to be pretty quiet after, does something about it bother you? Is there something I should be aware of? Something I can do differently?"

If you're in charge for that portion of the program, I'd think you'd be fully warranted to watch out for your charge's mental state of mind and ask after it.

(in reply to knottyboundgirl)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Submissive topping - 4/14/2013 12:31:26 PM

knottyboundgirl

Posts: 3
Joined: 2/27/2013
Status: offline

I need to clarify, it isn't immediately after. After he is fine. Very relaxed and happy.

It's the following week or two. It goes beyond a normal drop that may be expected. He simply withdraws.

(in reply to lizi)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Submissive topping - 4/14/2013 12:35:00 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

Ok, well my thinking on it doesn't change at all. Ask him.
If it's something related to the event, then you as the top need to know...and you in a relationship with him need to know since it sounds like it's bugging you.

(in reply to knottyboundgirl)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Submissive topping - 4/14/2013 5:43:16 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

Seems like a long delay for bottom drop? Has he ever done this without you having topped him? How long does it last and what's the recovery like?

(in reply to lizi)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Submissive topping - 4/14/2013 6:24:09 PM

knottyboundgirl

Posts: 3
Joined: 2/27/2013
Status: offline

No he has not ever done this without me having topped him. I don't believe it to be bottom drop. It can last up to two weeks when he seems to bounce back.

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Submissive topping - 4/15/2013 10:43:41 PM

msj2u

Posts: 37
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

Hello knottyboundgirl,

I agree, you need to have a long conversation with him. That being said, My 2 cents to this is perhaps He feels at a loss because He has chosen the Dom role and allowing you to top Him makes him question his role the more he thinks about it.

Best of luck to both of you,
MSJ

I'm the One your mother didn't tell you about

(in reply to knottyboundgirl)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Submissive topping - 4/16/2013 6:26:40 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: msj2u

Hello knottyboundgirl,

I agree, you need to have a long conversation with him. That being said, My 2 cents to this is perhaps He feels at a loss because He has chosen the Dom role and allowing you to top Him makes him question his role the more he thinks about it.

Best of luck to both of you,
MSJ

I'm the One your mother didn't tell you about

This is what came to mind.

You mention you've discovered enjoying more than you expected, he may be in the same boat. Or he feels guilty in some way.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to msj2u)