Proprietrix
Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline
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quote:
I want to give the control of my mind and body to another let them take me over and do as they wish to me knowing that I am safe and that they would never go past the limits that we had agreed on.
Sounds good.
quote:
To know I’m safe in letting go... for the Master to do as he pleases to my body cause me as much pain and pleasure as pleases him giving and taking what he wants from me, but I want to be respected and treated as a human not as a possession...
Bummer. No Mistress?
What if he doesn’t want to use your body? Is it ok if he doesn’t want to cause your body pain and pleasure? Can he just tell you to get dressed up in a bunny outfit and wash the dishes and then cuddle with you on the sofa and occasionally flick your powder puff bunny tail and send you to bed at night to sleep?
Or would that not qualify as being respected and treated as a human, since you’d be treated as a … well, ya know… bunny, which are non-humans. (We’ll debate whether bunnies are possessions.)
quote:
I want to be tied up and helpless to the Masters wishes....
Tied up physically? Or are we talking mentally bound?
What if he’s not into bondage?
What if his wishes are for you to plant a garden? And then bring it full harvest, and use the veggies to make a good stew. And then have you drink the stew through a straw while he watches a football game on TV.
Is that ok?
Or did you have specific "wishes" in mind you wanted him to adhere to?
quote:
I want to experience everything at least ones to learn all I can and please as best I can. I have very few limits but other then those limits I want to try everything I want to expand myself and become the best I can.
That’s a very broad term. Experience everything once? What "everything" are you talking about? Are you referring to the cliché little BDSM checklist of kinky hot play? Or does experiencing everything also include grooming his dog, changing the transmission in the car, licking the stamps to mail out the bills, submitting to his friends, taking up spit tobacco, licking the toilet clean, and all those anti-TOS kinks?
Careful what you wish for.
What do you mean by becoming the best you can?
quote:
How I would like my life as a slave to be... I want rules and consequences restrictions that will stay through all aspects of my life but at the same time I don’t want to be seen as a sub outside the home...
I get the impression you are saying "I need discretion" or "I need to keep my lifestyle in the closet".
Am I correct?
If so, make that more than clear on your profile. Some of us are only looking for subs that are out of the closet.
quote:
i want to have some times at which I am seen as an equal listened to and not just ordered.
Do some reading on some of the threads here about equality. (LA would probably be more than happy to pull some of those threads for you.) People define "equal" differently and it’s important to make sure you are articulating exactly what you mean.
quote:
I’m in school and working very hard towards my Masters and I do wish to have a professional life
Good for you! It’s always so nice to see a sub take control of their life when they’re single!
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I do not wish to be a sub at all times... I don’t think I have it in me to always be in sub mode maybe I do but at the moment I don’t see it.
So, you are a part-time submissive?
I get 2 impressions here. Either 1) you are a part-time sub (maybe a bedroom submissive, or a bottom, only interested in submitting during playtime, or a "in scene" submissive who only submits during defined scene time). If that’s the case, it’s probably beneficial to clarify what you mean. When are you willing to submit? How often? For what activities? Would that include a collar that goes on for scene and comes off afterward? No collars? No 24/7? Expand on the who/what/when/where/why/how of the times you are willing to submit and the times you are not.
~OR~
2) you are under the impression that being a submissive "all the time" means you lose your identity as a person.
Chew on that thought for a while.
quote:
I want to be dominated but i want to be treated with respect (the way I see it is if you want respect from me you have to have respect for me)
A good portion of Dominants feel the same way. Most (some?) of us simply see respect as a given. It’s a basic tenement of interaction; just like honesty, communication, politeness, etc…
I’m curious why you singled out the virtue of respectfulness. (You mentioned it above also.) Are you under the impression that disrespect toward submissives is an inherent part of most D/s relationships?
Overall, this looks like a typical newbie stance from a female submissive ISO a male Dominant, with a hint of "I am woman, hear me roar." It has the typical references to a lot of playtime/use of the body/bondage/kink-related limits, and a lot of reference to "I’m not your dog." mentality. Which is pretty typical from what I’ve seen. Most people who are focused intensely on being used as a playtoy, tend to put up defenses to make sure they aren’t abused as a playtoy.
I’m still not sure if you’re looking for a boyfriend who will Dominate you in the bedroom or if you’re looking for a Dominant man who lives near you or if you’re looking for a Dominant boyfriend to cohabitate with or if you’re looking for a 24/7 TPE Master. You kind of hint to "all of the above". It might take time to figure that out for yourself even, as you watch, learn, grow, and see all the different types of BDSM relationships that are available. You’ll probably run across relationships and say "Yeah, that’s what I’m looking for except I’d change ABC about it." and "Holy shit. That’s exactly what I mean when I say I don’t want XYZ." and over time, you’ll be gaining more precise focus on what you’re looking for (and not looking for).
As someone else mentioned, you do seem to be wearing those Castlerealm tinted glasses that make this lifestyle seem like a wonderful fantasy. "He treats me like a precious jewel whilst spanking my hiney. I bow before him, loving lick his manhood, drink his nectar, surrender my mind, heart, soul, and body to him. I clean his home, press his garments, and artfully scrape a heart into his peanut butter sandwich. ----- except when I’m not in the mood."
A lot of what I was pointing out in my above comments to you is that there is no "true Master". You’d be hard pressed to find a Master who wants you to submit – only when you want to submit, who spanks your bum nightly, tethers you to his heart each night, shows you off to his kinky friends, but pretends you’re the little vanilla wife to his co-workers, gives you a list of 10 basic slave rules, but only expects you to abide by them when you’re dressed up as his little leather girlie, and skips watching the Super Bowl because he’d rather flog you.
You’re probably more likely to find either a Top, who doesn’t want a commitment, or a Master who wants control of you all the time – even when you’re not in the mood. You’re probably going to be doing more grocery shopping and cleaning house than being bound to the bed. You’ll probably get mundane icky tasks like clipping his toenails and cleaning out the leftovers in the refrigerator instead of bending over for a nightly spanking. He’ll probably want you to obey his rules even when you’ve just had a hard day at work, and he might want a blow job even though he’s still in his work clothes instead of dressed up in his black leather outfit. The "new things" he wants you to try might be wacky (like dressing up like a bunny instead of dressing up like a catholic school girl), or gross (like eating those toenail clippings instead of eating his cum), or for your development (like learning the value of growing a vegetable garden instead of learning the value of a good whipping).
Avoid the fiction that sensationalizes the lifestyle. If you want to read, put down the beauty series and the story of O and pick up some realistic books from greenery press. If you want to talk, get out of the IRC chat room and get on some forums. If you want to watch, turn off the secretary and go to a munch. Get around real people who are willing to talk about their experiences instead of writing about their fantasies. You might just find that the reality is a hell of lot more fulfilling than any fantasy could ever have been.
After a long day of working hard for the system, washing those damn dishes, and clipping those toenails, a spanking might seem overwhelming, whereas being cuddled and snuggled in a bunny suit might make you feel safe, protected, accepted, cared-for, and loved.
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IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).
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