would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (Full Version)

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zwheels -> would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/17/2013 12:28:42 PM)

I'm disabled and having an extremely hard time finding a mistress. I was just wondering if there were any immediate reasons why a mistress would not want to be served by me.



MistressDarkArt -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/17/2013 12:53:24 PM)

This might have something to do with it:

quote:

I want to be fucked like I'm your own personal playtoy.


Most dominant women do not give a flying fig what some stranger wants done to him. They will just pass you by, and it has nothing to do with your physical disability. We are not here to be your on-demand kink-delivery system. Dommes do things they want to do with men they adore. To get to that point, you have to treat her like a person first, kinky second. If you were at Starbucks, would you roll up to a young lady you've never met and demand to be fucked like her personal play toy? I hope not! In other words: don't lead with kink. There are no shortcuts but paying a Pro.

I think you'd benefit greatly from having a good long read of the Ask A Mistress FAQ. It's chock full of great advice for how to craft a profile that would appeal to a dominant woman, and how to approach contacting her.

Welcome to the boards, and best of luck to you.



zwheels -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/17/2013 12:59:51 PM)

Ok. That's fair. Thank you.



FelineRanger -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/17/2013 1:04:45 PM)

It's probably just a matter of time, just like everything else involved with finding a relationship. I volunteer at a Philly play party and I can think of two regulars right off the top of my head who have nocitceable physical disabilities (they use canes to walk) but who have also found doms or dommes. I know, "Take your time and relax" doesn't do shit for your frustration. Sorry 'bout that.



LadyPact -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/17/2013 1:47:39 PM)

OK. I'll be the asshole.

Evidently, you're profile has changed even since creating this thread because I didn't find what MDA found. (Probably a good thing because this would have been worse.)

There's a difference between 'a' disabled person and you and your disability specifically. In My case, you would most likely be disqualified on the basis of the wheelchair. My house is a two story house with the dungeon in the basement. Literally, you couldn't even get into My house unless I had someone build a ramp.

So, let's say we skip the house (even though I'm not really willing to do that at this time) and say that it would be an arrangement just for public parties where I would expect there to be wheelchair access. That doesn't really work too well for you either in My location because of your age. There are still a number of groups and venues, particularly leather events, that are 21 and up.

Third, you have a kink interest that is on My 'hates' list, so even if you were older and didn't have your disability, you wouldn't be compatible with Me.



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/17/2013 3:19:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

This might have something to do with it:

quote:

I want to be fucked like I'm your own personal playtoy.


Wow. He said that? Yeah, that could have a LOT to do with him not finding anyone, disability or not.

I might be okay with a sub with a disability, depending on what the disability was. You know, whether he could do what I needed him to do. I'm not going to automatically disqualify anyone and everyone with a disability. It would be the same whether he was disabled or not, the condition of him being willing/able to do what I needed him to do. But that quote up above, yeah, that would disqualify him whether he was able-bodied or disabled, either one.

NBMG



DarkSteven -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/17/2013 5:36:33 PM)

Fella, here's your profile:

I will do anything to serve a master but I have limitations since I'm in a wheelchair. I can't fight back, so do what you will to me. Also willing to be sissified. ;)

Here are your journal entries:

3/23/2013 12:39:56 PM [Report Entry]

I'll do whatever you want Mistress Jessi! Didn't I do a good job? I made your listing.

12/20/2012 7:58:04 AM [Report Entry]

Getting ready to stroke my cock thinking about all the sexy women out there with strap ons ready to punish little sissy sluts like me. Send me a message.

So here's my takeaway:

1. "I can't fight back." This isn't for everyone. It says you think it's all about play sessions.
2. "Willing to be sissified". I get a bad feeling about someone who states they'll "do anything" and then states what they're willing to do. Sounds like a lot of fights, arguments, and whining lie ahead.
3. You are publicly posting something that should be between you and Mistress Jessi. This shows a lack of discretion and is a promise that, when a woman breaks up with you, it could go public.
4. Your last journal entry states that you're only in this to get your cock hard. No relationship. Do you know how many men try to objectify Dommes like that, and how much they dislike it?



peppermint -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/17/2013 5:54:57 PM)

The problems you face:

First, you are 18 and many Dommes will not have a relationship with someone so young.

Second, Dommes seek relationships.  They do not want to be seen as your fetish delivery system so you can jerk off.  They want men who are also friends.  They want to date.  They want to be with a man they enjoy being with whether that is to watch a movie or take a drive. 

Third, you want to be sissified.  Although there is nothing wrong with this many Dommes are not into sissy boys and have no desire to do that with you.

Fourth, male submissives outnumber female Dommes by a huge number online.  To attract a Domme you have to do more than announce "Here I am and you can do anything to me, especially do me in the ass and dress me as a girl."  That is because there are soooo many male submssives who say they want that.  It makes you one of the pack of ho hum, dime a dozen horny net geeks. 

Fifth, you weigh 75 pounds.  This may scare someone into thinking you are too frail for any use and especially hard use.

Sixth, you are disabled and use a wheel chair.  I do know others in the scene who use wheel chairs.  It does mean that your best bet in finding a partner is in person.  That way you get to wow those ladies with your super great personality.  People will forget about that wheel chair as they learn what a wonderful person you really are.  To be frank, your profile is not doing that for you. 

Seventh, if you consider serving a Domme is allowing her to sissify you and peg you and get you all turned on, then you do not know what service is. 



SadisticMs2 -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/18/2013 7:48:27 AM)

Now....the question is, do you just want to get your rocks off OR are you looking for a relationship?

If it's just to get your rocks off, you really need to go to a prodomme. That has nothing to do with your physical disability. That has to do with your perception that dominant women are here for your sexual pleasure and aren't whole people.

If you're looking for a relationship - ask yourself how successful you are with vanilla dating. Your age, general lack of dating experience, and lack of understanding about BDSM as a lifestyle are probably more of a hurdle at this point than your physical disabilities. If you have no success dating vanilla, it is unlikely will have any success dating a Domme because there are a lot less of us and frankly, we're not appreciative of the mass of guys who think we're here to get them off.

What you CAN do at this point - again, if you're goal is a long term relationship with a woman - is focus on the things that you should be doing in your life at this age. Educate yourself about the lifestyle. Learn to see women as something other than a fetish delivery system. Work on your own life to develop yourself into a self-sufficient adult - get a college education, get a good career, etc so that you can hold up your half of a relationship.

Is being in a wheelchair an automatic no from me for a sub? Not necessarily. He'd need to be the other things I look for in a sub - close to my age, intelligent, funny, geeky, well educated, good career, independent. Independent would be a must. If he needed a caretaker - then no, I would not consider him. If someone in my life - my husband or son or other family member - had an accident and needed a caretaker, I'd be there 110% for them. But would I bring someone into my life for a romantic relationship that needed that from the get go? No.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/18/2013 10:36:40 AM)

I guess it would depend on the person, disability, and whether he could bring something into my life. Remember dominant people get/have disabilities as well. M



CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/19/2013 8:31:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: zwheels

I'm disabled and having an extremely hard time finding a mistress. I was just wondering if there were any immediate reasons why a mistress would not want to be served by me.


My slave has several disabilities from a mining cave in that almost crushed him to death. I chose him over all the younger, more healthy men available because...he has a beautiful heart...and...we are compatible.

This week I spent a ten plus hour day waiting at the hospital for him while he had surgery, came out of recovery, and was made comfortable for the night. I took him home from the hospital when the time came and I've been at his home taking care of him. Tomorrow he gets a brief shower while sitting in a chair. His mother fell down several weeks ago and is still recovering from having steel plates and screws put into her hip...my slave's sister stopped helping as of this morning so...guess who is helping to take care of her? Me. Ownership is more than just kinky play for some of us. My boy stood by me when over a year ago I had dozens of blood clots hit my lungs. Spit happens, and sooner or later either we "die young and maybe leave a beautiful corpse" or else we live long enough to develop all kinds of limitations and disabilities. I plan to be tying my boy up, flogging him, etc., well into his seventies and eighties, even if my grip sucks by then and I have to duct tape my flogger to my hand. [;)]

It's not your disability, entirely, that's causing you problems finding a Domme. (I'll admit that some people just don't want to deal with disabilities, or are completely unprepared to handle them.) In my opinion...it's how you present yourself and your...um...newbie expectations.

It's okay to be excited by all of this and wanting the kink community to know that you've arrived. [;)] But...why not start learning some of the ropes by reading non-porn, non-fantasy BDSM books like SM 101 by Jay Wiseman? Amazon.com and Ebay have copies. Anything to help you to get what you want eventually. Btw, there are BDSM munch groups you'd might like to join. Ones called "TNG" are for kinksters under 30 or thereabouts. One of our munch groups has a member who hosts "game night", a meet and greet in his home where people snack on food and play board games and card games, etc. Since I have a minivan, sometimes I offer to pick up other members and take them to play parties, munches, or game nights. Maybe new friends will help you to attend some in your area by carpooling.

Sometimes it takes years to find the right person to be in a kinky relationship with. If you just want to have fun, maybe someone will have a kink for taking all kinds of cherries...and will tie you up at some play party or whatever. I used to enjoy topping newbies. [:D]



PrincessDonna11 -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/20/2013 3:32:34 AM)

I cant believe this many people even wasted their time responding to this,this person just thought of another door to open to get reaction..I didn't bother to look at his profile does he have pics in a chair showing that he may still be able to do things worthwhile?



LafayetteLady -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/20/2013 4:03:57 AM)

He's an 18 year old kid in a wheelchair. Although his profile text/journal may be a bit on the sexual side, that is more attributable to him being 18, and he certainly has no pictures of what you suggest.

Your comment was simply rude and completely uncalled for.



MissImmortalPain -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/20/2013 4:31:05 AM)

What makes you think he was trying to get a "reaction" and not an answer to his question? And why should he have to post pictures? As a dominant person who also happens to spend a great deal of her time in a wheelchair I have a lot of pictures but none of them are in the chair. Lafayette is correct, your comment is a tad rude.

To the Op....the other posters are correct about your need to remove kink. Take your dicks ego out of your profile and think about what you have to offer to a woman. Prove to the women reading your profile that you are not as handicapped as you might seem and you are more likely to attract someone.

Good luck.



thishereboi -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/20/2013 5:47:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna11

I cant believe this many people even wasted their time responding to this,this person just thought of another door to open to get reaction..I didn't bother to look at his profile does he have pics in a chair showing that he may still be able to do things worthwhile?


I can't believe you didn't even take the time to look at his profile, yet you are going to try to convince us you know what motivated him to post this. So tell me which is wasting time....trying to give the op an honest answer or coming into the thread and whining about others who are trying to give him an answer? Seems to me like you are the one looking for a reaction [8|]



LadyPact -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/20/2013 8:24:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna11
I cant believe this many people even wasted their time responding to this,this person just thought of another door to open to get reaction..I didn't bother to look at his profile does he have pics in a chair showing that he may still be able to do things worthwhile?
What are you on about? Do you seriously *not* think it's a legitimate question? This isn't the first thread we've had about people with disabilities wanting to know if they would have any chance of success in the lifestyle.

I didn't look for his pics. When I responded to this thread, the profile text clearly read, "I am in a wheelchair". Even with the implication of the screen name, I did double check to be sure that was the case. I explained My answer in My first response.

Something, once again, you lack doing when you enter the thread. Rather than bitch about the other responses, how about just answering the question for a change?




MistrixMsE -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/25/2013 11:12:04 PM)

I have had disabled subs play with me & serve me consistently. Would I be looking for an 18 year old? No... its weird when the sub is younger than your kid... lol
/



absolutchocolat -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/26/2013 7:30:25 PM)

FR

Finding a Domme is like finding a vanilla woman. Get to know her as a person, treat her with respect and see if your sexual desires match up.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/26/2013 7:44:14 PM)

Do you have *ANY* idea how your question sounds? It's like asking people if they'd let an African American, or a female, or a lesbian, or a Hispanic male, or a transgendered person 'serve' them.

I'm sorry you're disabled, but get over yourself. Be the best you that you can be, and you just might find someone who's attracted to that.




BlkTallFullfig -> RE: would you allow a disabled person to serve you? (4/26/2013 8:42:02 PM)

I beg to differ ChatteParfaitt.
Really?! Being in a wheelchair is much the same as an African American, or a female, or a lesbian, or a Hispanic male, or a transgendered person's ability to serve? I hope the OP feels good with this reply, given he is apparently white, and male.
I apreciate that you were trying to motivate the OP, but damn![8D] Step in it much?! M



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