Meeting First

Meeting First (Full Version)

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alexglass73 -> Meeting First (4/22/2013 5:44:22 PM)
So this may seem like a very stupid question but it that a common practice for a dom and sub to meet in a public place before going to either person's residence? It seems to me if the dom is saying that they're in charge and you'll do as they say something is probably up.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Meeting First (4/22/2013 7:15:03 PM)
Ok, your post is a little confusing. Are you saying that you believe it is normal to meet in a public place first? If so, I wouldn't say "normal" but I would say "advised." If someone is claiming to be a dominant and is telling you that you will do what they say before you even meet, tell them you aren't going to meet. You have no agreement with a stranger, and submissives don't (or shouldn't) be willing to fall to their knees in obedience of anyone who claims they are dominant. That's just stupid.

LadyPact -> RE: Meeting First (4/22/2013 7:17:48 PM)
Yes, it's a common practice to meet in a public place before going to either person's home. Would you want a complete stranger coming into your house if you hadn't even been in the same room before?

angelikaJ -> RE: Meeting First (4/23/2013 6:32:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: alexglass73 So this may seem like a very stupid question but it that a common practice for a dom and sub to meet in a public place before going to either person's residence? It seems to me if the dom is saying that they're in charge and you'll do as they say something is probably up. 1) Yes, meeting in public is common. 2) If the "dom" is saying that they are taking liberties they have no right to. One does not submit to complete strangers, unless a lack of regard for your personal safety is your kink. (And until you have spent time with them, in person, they are a stranger, no matter how many hours you have spent with them on-line.) 3) Having a provocative picture is a good way to find the insta-doms. Is that what you really want?

kookycreature -> RE: Meeting First (4/23/2013 6:54:09 AM)
Meeting a dominant should be no different than meeting any other stranger from online for the first time. Somewhere neutral, somewhere in public and always keep a friend or two aware of where you are, who you are with, how to contact you and a roughly estimated time of when you will be back and what to do if you are late. It's advised a lot because there is no harm in taking precautions. Someone who has no ill intentions would have no issues with any of those pre-requisites.

YN -> RE: Meeting First (4/23/2013 8:02:40 AM)
Yes.

MasterCaneman -> RE: Meeting First (4/23/2013 8:59:45 AM)
Without question. Even though I'm a big, bad, scary-looking guy who is fully capable of taking care of myself, there are too many variables at play when meeting someone face-to-face in real life. That pretty little lady might turn out to be a couple of ugly-ass punks looking for an easy score. Very important to have a safety contact who can raise the alarm if you don't call in at a certain time. And definitely keep a record of your conversations leading up to the meet, just in case the worst-case scenario happens.

thezeppo -> RE: Meeting First (4/23/2013 9:14:24 AM)
Absolutely, definitely, a thousand times yes, meet in public first. If the guy is interested and genuine he shouldn't have a problem with that.

Thaz -> RE: Meeting First (4/23/2013 10:54:38 AM)
And I would advise NOT going back to theirs or getting in their car/suspicious van on first meet.

MasterCaneman -> RE: Meeting First (4/23/2013 11:53:26 AM)
As well as the usual 'watch your drink' and other common sense things when meeting a new person. If they're decent, they won't mind you doing these things, because chances are they're taking the same precautions as you are. It's a sad commentary on how people treat each other, but it's just how it is. Best of luck, sincerely.

Determinist -> RE: Meeting First (4/23/2013 8:57:22 PM)
If he's demanding that you come over to his place or he come over to yours for the first meet - RUN. He obviously doesn't have your safety in mind. He might be harmless, but do you want to be with someone that's insisting you engage in dangerous behaviour? Expect the best, prepare for the worst (good rule for just about any undertaking).

RedMagic1 -> RE: Meeting First (4/23/2013 9:10:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: alexglass73 So this may seem like a very stupid question but it that a common practice for a dom and sub to meet in a public place before going to either person's residence? It seems to me if the dom is saying that they're in charge and you'll do as they say something is probably up. It's safer to meet in public. That said, some of my best experiences have occurred when I went directly to her place, or she went directly to mine. In one case, I picked up a lady at the airport, drove her to my home, and she made a safe call before walking in the front door. So really, it depends on the vibe between the two of you. Also, I'm pretty good at avoiding people with boundary issues. Are you? Because that's really what will keep you safe, more than anything else.

Rasciallymisty -> RE: Meeting First (4/24/2013 6:53:52 AM)
I have done both, the first time we went to his place but I felt I knew him really well, it was also the only time I ever did so. Any other time I have always meet in public and would suggest that is the best way to go. No matter each time I made sure someone knew where I was.

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