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UllrsIshtar -> RE: non consent (5/1/2013 12:50:15 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
If you're just describing a scene, then yes, there's something called resistance play or consensual nonconsent. While I don't understand it fully, I believe that it involves negotiation of hard limits ahead of time. For the scene itself, the top does everything he wants to the bottom within those limits. I've never heard of it done without rape involved.
I do consensual non-consent play without every involving rape play. I also don't negotiate limits beforehand with the people I engage in this type of play with.
The limits are implied, of course, in the sense that crossing them would mean the end of the relationship, but they're neither negotiated, nor clearly outspoken.
As far as the play itself goes, imagine a pain scale from 1-10 with 1 being equivalent to "do you think that hurts?" and 10 being equivalent to where a person would usually safeword. On that scale, for none consensual non-consent play (how's that for a phrase?) I like to play at about an 8.
For consensual non-consent play, the play starts at above 10, with the agreement between both parties that safewords simple won't be invoked.
It drives play into an area where all that's on my mind is trying to figure out a way to implore him to stop, but I won't actually prohibit him from continuing. I'm sure he could drive it to a point where I would again attempt to safeword, and if he at that point refuses to stop, would attempt things like invoking legal protection and threat , but it hasn't really ever gone there, because that's not the point.
The point is a state of surrender where I endure more than I at that moment feel I am capable of enduring, and he becomes the sole judge of what I am and am not capable of enduring. Hardlimits aren't really necessary to be negotiated for such a scene, because the objective isn't to drive the act up to become more dangerous, and less within my limits, but instead to play with a mindset. It's the reaction he's after.
As such, he's much more likely to try and push hardlimits within a structure of consensual play, than he would be to push those within a structure of consensual non-consensent play.
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