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Night terrors and waking up - 5/1/2013 10:47:07 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
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As a child my father would wake all of as children at 2 AM!

He would come to our bedroom and wake us up as he began to scream about
what he did for us and my mother!

My mother was abuse so badly she would just stand there as he would began he two to three
hour rant about everything that made no damn sense!!!

He made us listen to his rants and and rumble bull shit! As the hours passed he would just stand and scream!
After his 2 to 3 hours of scream we were told to go back to bed, but then in less then 3 hours we had to awake to go to school!

I learn not one thing, I was too tired to even think!

My problem now is I can not stand to be woke up, I talk in my sleep I curse at my sister who is sick, I scream I use abusive words to her!
By the time I do wake up she is in tears I am in tears because I do not remember saying anything wrong towards her!

The stress is too much, This has made my life hell I see someone whom I speak with but just remember this make me hate my father, oh there is more, but it is
too horrible for me to write, abuse of animals, etc!

This would happen so often I could not began to explain how often this happen! But it happen
enough that now I can not stand to be awaken at all, any type of suggestions will help! I can not stop screaming at my poor sister!

I have never like to be woke up he was a sick man!

My sister is better and she and I enjoy the time we spend together this is making her so upset, and she understands this has hapepen before with other who have tryied to
wake me from sleeping!!

My mother would move but he always found us and would climb through the windows, but he come and my dog brownie who was the breed of dog
a large newfoundland bit him, he did not get in that time , he poisoned him later on!!!!''

This has become a nightmare for my sister and I, I have now began to stay up from the fear I will scream abuses at her, please help!!! When I do stay up all night and sleep later I do not
scream or curse at her, she is my best friend and everything to me she dio
s not deserve this!!!!!

Everyone anything you suggest will be taken so very seriously!!!!

best regards
mons ( I hope this is written to be understood I am sleeply still!)

Post #: 1

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/1/2013 10:59:30 AM

Duskypearls

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Is your father still alive, Mons?

(in reply to mons)

Post #: 2

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/1/2013 1:08:03 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

I would suggest finding a good therapist to talk to. Obviously, you have not come to terms yet with the abuse you suffered at the hands of your father, and are acting out in your sleep about it.

I'm not sure I understand why your sister is trying to wake you up. Do you sleep in the same room and your talking disturbs her? Or are you sleep walking and screaming at her at this time?

If you each have your separate rooms, you could simply lock your bedroom door at night so that no one comes into your room to try to wake you up.

However, that will not resolve the problem, so again, I recommend finding a good therapist. You might also visit your doctor and talk to him/her about doing a sleep study.

(in reply to mons)

Post #: 3

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/1/2013 5:01:05 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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Go to your doctor, get a therapist.

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Post #: 4

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/2/2013 12:25:31 AM

MistrixMsE

Posts: 198
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From: Chicago, USA - Touring Internationally
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This is more than night terrors... its post traumatic stress disorder. I suggest a therapist who specializes in PTSD, or one who specializes in child abuse trauma. Hypnotic regression and therapy can sometimes be helpful, but only at the hands of a trusted psychologist or psychiatrist who is also a certified hypnotherapist. No hypnotists who dont have proper medical training to go with it.

In the interim, locking your bedroom door is a wise move, you're continuing to traumatize your sister and it isnt fair to her.

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Sadist with a sense of humor... your predicament amuses me.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 5

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/2/2013 2:13:33 AM

Rule

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Maybe a hypnotist can help you. Find a good one.

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"I tend to pay attention when Rule speaks" - Aswad

"You are sweet, kind, and ever so smart, Rule. You ALWAYS stretch my mind and make me think further than I might have on my own" - Duskypearls

Si vis pacem, para bellum.

(in reply to mons)

Post #: 6

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/2/2013 2:42:02 AM

MissBlueangel

Posts: 147
Joined: 6/28/2012
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I started a thread a while back on nightmares/terrors.
There may be some advise on there you find helpful...I know I did ...and mine are few and far between now

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Its only when you make me suffer that I feel safe and secure.
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Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would chose pain
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(in reply to mons)

Post #: 7

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/2/2013 10:38:36 AM

DesFIP

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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You are suffering from PTSD. There is new treatment for it that will help. Go talk to a good psychiatrist. Perhaps at the nearest teaching hospital.

Or get a sleep study done.

I'm assuming you have consulted your primary physician to determine there is no organic cause for this.

And you need therapy dealing with the abuse.

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Post #: 8

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/2/2013 11:15:16 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
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From: Northern New Jersey
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It really isn't appropriate to tell her she has PTSD. You aren't in a position to make a diagnosis. It could be, but it would be much wiser to suggest it *could* be PTSD rather that stating it like its a fact.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 9

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/4/2013 12:21:20 AM

littleclip

Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
Status: offline

PTSD is a real disorder and the treatment has very good results i have both had it and have helped other soldiers with it. even now my kids know not to startle me awake i have swung at them. there are many that now specialize in PTSD they will be able to help you deal with the issues you have
just clip

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 10

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/4/2013 5:17:33 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

I didn't say it wasn't real. I said that no one here is in a position to diagnose it over one or two posts from someone.

(in reply to littleclip)

Post #: 11

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/5/2013 5:04:31 AM

Thaz

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Joined: 4/28/2012
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My Wench suffers from these now and then. I find ritual and light bondage before bed lower her stress levels and reduce or eliminate occurrences.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 12

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/5/2013 5:38:19 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

While being able to reduce/eliminate occurrences is great, the reality is that without some type of professional therapy/counseling, you are simply putting a bandaid on the problem rather than resolving the issue.

(in reply to Thaz)

Post #: 13

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/5/2013 5:57:05 AM

shannie

Posts: 200
Joined: 1/26/2008
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It's natural to connect the night-time abuse by your father with this issue, but they may not be as interconnected as you think.

My two older sisters have the same problem, and always did, ever since we were children. They are violent when awoken, and then they are in an angry mood for an hour. It was terrible for me as a child, because I wanted them to wake up and play with me, but I lived in constant terror of waking them up. I still do! If ever we happen to sleep in the same house (on very rare occasions when they visit), I go out early in the morning, and they call me AFTER they are awake.

But in their case, this has nothing to do with abuse. I have seven siblings, and two of them have this issue. Google "violent when awoken" and you will see that many people suffer from this. It's a common manifestation of narcolepsy (although most people think of narcolepsy as simply falling asleep at random times -- it has other manifestations).

My sisters aren't the type to "seek help" for anything, but if I were you, I would research the issue in sleep disorder forums. There is lots of advice there.

http://ehealthforum.com/health/topic6598.html

(in reply to mons)

Post #: 14

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/5/2013 8:28:39 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mons
When I do stay up all night and sleep later I do not scream or curse at her

As others already said, if you need help then I can only recommend as well to go to your doctor to get a referal to a therapist...

On a personal note I think it is great that you realised yourself, that this does not happen when you go to bed later....

Whilst this is not really helpful to go to bed that late (depends on the job) and might only lead to avoid tackling the actual problem, I like the fact that you realised that, cause thats how I learned to get over my issue during childhood.

As mentioned in some previous threads I woke up on average 4 nights per week over about 8 years of my life (mainly during teenage years) due to seeing spiders which were not there....that always happened 5-10 minutes after I had fallen asleep and even when I was fully aware that I was already awake by then and that they are not physically there I could still see them, which scared the shit out of me as a kid....approx. 3-4 years of those 8 years I jumped out of bed as if there would be a way bigger spider than I actually had in my vision, turned on my light and then bursted into tears due to the realisation that it was that shite nightmare again....so the tears were more about this happening again and again and again and not about the actual damn spider dream as such...

Anyhow, at some point I realised that it does go away with turning the light on....so at some point, which took me 3-4 years, I was cool enough about it and did not jump out of bed anymore....instead I just turned on my bedside light, switched it off again, turned over and continued my sleep...after all, that spider was gone with having that light switched on....and that was in my opinion the beginning for me to heal with the real issue behind it...I grew stronger against those nightmares and was also able to get over it mentally, in the many years to come after that shit...

I also figured out at some point that those nightmares were less likely to happen when I felt asleep on my side, as when I was falling asleep on my back....needless to say, I don't fall asleep on my back as my body just got used to it, not to fall asleep on its back...its conditioned that way by now...

Whilst I had never therapy about it, as nobody at home ever figured out that fact, it made sense to me why it occured the way how it occured since I learned more about psychology during my apprenticeship as well as during my degree and I managed to sort it out on my own...

These days those spider visions are rare....maybe 3 times a year, sometimes even less than that and then most of the time not even when I am sleeping in bed but instead napping on the sofa or so....

I am still figuring out why they occur when they do occur and whilst I am not having a clear answer to that one so far, it appears to me that they occur more likely when I am in a rather fragile state or mood at that time...

Anyhow....whilst I genuinly hate spiders....a lil bit I see them as my rescuers these days, when they do appear (when they are as a matter of fact not there....)...as they tell me to look after myself...

Therefore, I wish you that you get professional help and if you are able to, I would suggest to continue to figure out in which situation it is less likely to occur that your night issue happens...

just thinking that maybe you find more situations which will reduce the risk of it happening than just going to bed late (though after reading your story, it does make sense to me, that it does not happen when you go to bed late....but I am not a professional and therefore thats just my humble opinion, based on my own personal experience).

Best wishes on your journey to find healing

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 5/5/2013 8:35:47 AM >

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The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

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(in reply to mons)

Post #: 15

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/5/2013 10:39:52 PM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

Oh how this has helped me, I was abuse by someone, my twin and I were together we were found bleeding!
I do not remember what happen I do remember being found under a porch and there were police and an ambulance there!

They were asking us who did this? I have a memory of as far back as a two year old, my father is no longer alive!

He was so bad, he drown 10 puppies and made us including my mother watch! It was so bad that I did not remember until I was older! My twin and I
now speak of some of the memories and we do not know what happen to us which one was hurt or it was both of us!

I do see therapist he said my father was a psychopath because he would give us everything but how is treated us and then would not give what we
really needed!!! There are so many things he did to us to my mother and his climbing into windows and walking up the stairs creeping it was the most
frightening sound I have ever heard!!!

I am so upset I did not this time scream at her today, but as always I am so had to wake up , and yes we do sleep into the same room sometimes people do not understand
we are twins and we are so close we now think each other thoughts, dream the same dreams!

I witness a murder, and also my father stabbing my mother as we were in the same room, then somehow my twin and I were the only children who saw this but
we blank it out and then he still stabbed her as people watch from the street! This took my mother from us for a year!

My older sister told my mother to let him back "he will not do it again" but he did sexual thing within out hearing to my mother, why do people have children only to torture them
later???//

I do not remember anything good something but no many only my father would protect us if anyone came to hurt us , I have seen this! I spoke about this in another post , I think too many times!!! :0(
I wonder if I can over come this nightmare of his doing so much! Some of the things he did I just can not write about it is to upsetting for me my twin and I mention it in passing we will say it then not talk about it
unless we can stomach to mention it again!

I have not seen my therapist in months , do to things I could not help! But I have an appointment this month!

I ache for my mother and what she had to go through with him! This is why I am a dominant person I must have some type of control but I am not
cruel to others!

Oh I do write to much at times and I want to thank all of you from my heart for all of suggestions, it means the world to me!!!

Best regards
Mons

(in reply to Phoenixpower)

Post #: 16

RE: Night terrors and waking up - 5/6/2013 7:21:48 AM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
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Please investigate the way to mourn, Mons, and then mourn all your hurts one by one and then say "I am done with this hurt".

Before you close your eyes to sleep, say: "Tonight I will have happy dreams and tomorrow I will wake up well rested and happy." Keep saying that for at least two weeks and believe it. It may take some time for it to be effective, but I expect that it eventually will.

< Message edited by Rule -- 5/6/2013 7:22:06 AM >

_____________________________

"I tend to pay attention when Rule speaks" - Aswad

"You are sweet, kind, and ever so smart, Rule. You ALWAYS stretch my mind and make me think further than I might have on my own" - Duskypearls

Si vis pacem, para bellum.

(in reply to mons)

Post #: 17

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