Asking for a raise..

Asking for a raise.. (Full Version)

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punisher440 -> Asking for a raise.. (5/2/2013 12:51:51 PM)
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary on the following reasons: •I do physical labor. •I work at great depths. •I work in high temperatures. •I work in a damp environment. •I plunge headfirst into everything I do. •I do not get weekends or public holidays off. •My work exposes me to contagious diseases. •I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. Sincerely, P. Niss The Response Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request under the following reasons: •You are unable to work double shifts. •You do not work 8 hours straight. •You will retire well before you are 65. •You fall asleep after brief work periods. •You do not always follow the orders of the management team. •You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations. •You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. •You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. •You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as; wearing the required protective clothing. •You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed an assigned task. •And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags. Sincerely, V. Gina. [sm=modxiiswatching.gif]

Kana -> RE: Asking for a raise.. (5/2/2013 12:58:57 PM)
I disagree with at least the first few of managements assertions and would like to file a very active protest (That will simultaneously, ahem, destroy any resistance to my case)

poise -> RE: Asking for a raise.. (5/2/2013 12:59:05 PM)
Poor P. Niss. You are definitely not working in the right company. I happen to give Mr. Penis a raise quite often. Sometimes right there in the cubicle. [:)]

MasterCaneman -> RE: Asking for a raise.. (5/2/2013 3:43:46 PM)
I tip my hat to you sir. One free internet and a 25% off coupon to SlaveMart is on the way...

MasterG2kTR -> RE: Asking for a raise.. (5/2/2013 6:43:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: poise Poor P. Niss. You are definitely not working in the right company. I happen to give Mr. Penis a raise quite often. Sometimes right there in the cubicle. [:)] Sounds like a happening place.....got any openings you're wanting to fill?

theshytype -> RE: Asking for a raise.. (5/2/2013 6:59:43 PM)
I have to say, Mr. P. Niss has been working with me for quite some time. In fact, I have been pleased with his overall performance that he continues to receive regular raises. He has also been promoted and is now head of several departments. We appreciate the fact that he visits with different areas of the building. Although he may leave a mess behind wherever he roams, the staff finds his visits to be enjoyable.

Rasciallymisty -> RE: Asking for a raise.. (5/2/2013 7:07:35 PM)
Though Mr P. Niss has been working a lot down under and has had to enter through the back door more than a few times, he has always arose to any occasion when needed.

Kaliko -> RE: Asking for a raise.. (5/2/2013 7:17:13 PM)
Sigh...P. Niss is complaining again and that bitch V. Gina is just being a cunt, as usual. You can all bite me. Sincerely, Nip L.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Asking for a raise.. (5/2/2013 7:20:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: punisher440 I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary on the following reasons: •I do physical labor. •I work at great depths. •I work in high temperatures. •I work in a damp environment. •I plunge headfirst into everything I do. •I do not get weekends or public holidays off. •My work exposes me to contagious diseases. •I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. Sincerely, P. Niss The Response Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request under the following reasons: •You are unable to work double shifts. •You do not work 8 hours straight. •You will retire well before you are 65. •You fall asleep after brief work periods. •You do not always follow the orders of the management team. •You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations. •You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. •You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. •You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as; wearing the required protective clothing. •You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed an assigned task. •And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags. Sincerely, V. Gina. [sm=modxiiswatching.gif] If this was a joke, it wasn't incredibly hilarious. If this was a real attempt at expressing your views on how to obtain a raise....it failed. As an employer (moi)....see Level (not moi). He'll explain how raises work.

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