OsideGirl -> RE: What actions , if any, should I take? (5/3/2013 10:05:52 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: evesgrden Which mistake can you live with... warning someone when you shouldn't. Or not warning them when you should have? Cost of error. If you believe that these women may be at risk, then this is a matter of doing the right thing and putting the safety of others above concerns for your social life. That said, you can still handle it graciously, and advise them that you might be WAY off base and nothing has been proven but nevertheless you felt a duty to warn. On the flipside, if you were falsely accused of something like this, the least of your worries would be missing out on a few play partners who heard about the allegations, no? In LA, we had a case in 1999 and 2000. I was approached by a submissive who I knew slightly to be the second submissive to her "Master". I declined for numerous reasons. About a month later, I received an email from her saying that I needed to be careful because he seemed determined to meet me and he had raped and beaten her. She ended up in the hospital for three weeks. The attitudes of the hospital staff regarding D/s combined with her shyness convinced her not to press charges. (Her injuries were brutal, including 52 stitches in her vagina) The next time I saw that guy's screen name come online, I warned everyone on the chat room that I had heard a rumor about him. I received email threats and unsolicited references by unknown screen names. Then apparently, he decided to try a different tack. He changed his screen name (unknown to us) and proceeded to set up meetings with women from the SoCalSubFemRoom on AOL and even attended the LA Social. (He tried very hard to get me to meet him) He proceeded to rape 7 more women in six months (that we know of). Finally, the last woman pressed charges. (The woman above, was the first) Then the name of our chat room was in the LA Times. The police showed up at the LA Social and questioned people. It turns out, the man who did this was just out of prison on parole and these rapes were his third strike. So, the moral of the story is: Rape is under reported to the authorities. Just because it hasn't been reported to the authorities, doesn't mean that it didn't happen. If the members of the community had taken further steps to investigate the first rumor, it's possible the other 7 women wouldn't have been raped and beaten. (It also exposed the members of the community to public scrutiny) My general view is that if you hear something about someone in the community and you hear it has happened multiple times, while it might not be 100% accurate, there is something there. I'm assuming that since the man in question is active in the community, these women who have made the accusations are at least somewhat known in the community. So, it's not like a random internet accusation. I find the hostess' attitude appalling. She's putting her friendship with the accused in front of her responsibility for the safety of her guests. At the very least, she should not have him attend until the truth is discovered. By stating her friendship takes first place, she is in effect endorsing this man. Personally, I wouldn't attend and I would tell her about my concerns. I vote with my wallet and my feet. I would encourage others to do the same. Maybe if attendance drops enough, she'll get the hint.
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