|
TricklessMagic -> RE: Why there are more walk-away moms (5/6/2013 1:18:03 PM)
|
In our society, the U.S. and many other nations I'm sure. Being a parent is central to our ultimate identity. But that's not everyone. It's just what we are raised to believe. I want kids, I want to be a parent and patriarch (and I mean legit patriarch, not some jerk that demands recognition). My mom did not want kids, my Dad did. It was a hell of a thing at 26 to learn that your parents who have been married for over thirty years [normally happy] did not want kids, at least my mother. I wasn't an accident as my dad told me, nor my mother. I was lots of hard work (I hope they enjoyed it at least, eh heh) and two years of trying. I was one of the few kids in my school who was an only child (mom had her tubes tied after I was born) and whose parents were in their thirties when i was born. That's more the norm now but nearly thirty years ago it was very new I think. My mother who didn't want a kid, a jew (yes I grew up with a jewish mother, I'm all for gays adopting so long as it is not two jewish women, that's just cruel and unusual punishment for a child) sure as hell made me think she wanted a kid. I got put through all the usual guilt and blame a jewish mother puts on her children.
So maybe my mom found she enjoyed having a kid or she just got with the program. I don't know, she's always struck me as a miserable bitch and she knows she's the reason why i won't marry a jewish woman. That's not everyone.
For someone to state they do not want kids is strange to a lot of people ( I hesitate to say most), and taking that stance can cause a lot of pressure and rejection from friends and family, and an overall feeling of alienation from society. After all society is built at this time to encourage families and procreation it would seem, a fact some find perverse and disturbing, to me it just makes sense. A certain degree of self-sacrifice is necessary for a society to grow and endure. Otherwise you risk a breakdown of society. Imagine what would happen if no one feared damnation for suicide, murder, rape, stealing? Imagine if people gave into base desires and hunger, a pure operation of the reptilian part of the brain. Having kids prevents that I think. When you have a kid you have to take care of them and be responsible for them, that means you can't just do as you please, at least you're not suppose to (but a lot of people do it unfortunately).
I will say the lady was ill and better the child was left at school where proper professionals could work to find adequate housing for the child, then the lady keep living with her demons and possibly hurting the child and herself.
Not everyone is meant to participate in society, evolution, and liberty. Yes I believe in evolution. And evolution at its core means "survival of the fittest." Not everyone is meant to survive in a sense of genetics. These people who don't want children or are abandoning children may have something different in them, psychologically (physiologically), than the rest of us who do want kids and wish to raise a family. We have to be sensitive to that and not put so much pressure on people to have children unless they are fit to have children. Fit financially, physically, and psychologically. We should prize "fit" procreation over sheer procreation.
To procreate should mean achieving a degree of financial, physical, and psychological stability. Not merely the spreading of legs and an ejaculation. But instead we prize the track of marriage and children over achievement hoping somwhere along the way what is needed, is achieved. Earning 60+k a year I barely feel ready to financially raise a child with another professional earning 30+k a year, but then I see so many worthless scum on food stamps (getting free handouts for being worthless while barley working 35 hours a week) and I realize without folks like me having kids, we're all screwed.
We also need to allow for the fact that some people are weak and defective when it comes to kids and not judge them too harshly. Would you judge a mentally handicapped child harshly, no you wouldn't. And we must think of these people in these terms. What they are doing isn't their fault necessarily, and we should work to help them. The lady probably stayed away because of the guilt and shame she felt from abandoning her child. Better to miss out on only a couple years of a child's life and to then come back and be a fit parent (granted one being observed and helped by authorities and mental health professionals). People make mistakes, mistakes shouldn't always mean complete loss.
|
|
|
|
