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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 10:30:54 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub
Lol, me "complaining" has gotten me more responses from real people in a day then I've ever gotten on the other side. Thank you.
Really? You've gotten women interested in you on the basis of this thread? Well, I'll be damned.

Best of luck to you and your new Domme.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LoyalBlackSub)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 12:32:34 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub

Lol, me "complaining" has gotten me more responses from real people in a day then I've ever gotten on the other side.


But that's what we've been trying to explain to you. The other side is a waste of time. Don't you get that? Sure, a few people meet the Domme of their dreams over there. But there are 10,000 threads on this board from guys who complain about never getting responses on the other side. There are 5,000,000 threads complaining about findoms. So nothing that you've said is new.

That's why so many of us have told you to go to a munch. Real people won't ignore you or ask you for money like people on the internet do. It's amazing how face-to-face interaction improves people's etiquette.

(in reply to LoyalBlackSub)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 1:31:20 PM   
czarski


Posts: 24
Joined: 12/29/2012
Status: offline 		I guess the legions of Money-Dommes create the illusion that sub males have a good chance here. They increase the numbers of Fem Doms by about four-fold, and we tell ourselves - keep looking, there are many Dommes, sooner or later you'll find one. Just keep going through the jungle, widen up the search area, etc. Well, some DO find one or more; most - never. And because the sub/slave/switch males are the most numerous category of users, the site bulks up. Remove the Findommes, and the illusion disappears. Males lose interest. Site loses traffic.

Naturally, a sub wants his Domme to be AROUSED by dominating, humiliating, beating him; the sub won't get off knowing that all this is done to him reluctantly.

What ever this says of the contemporary Western woman, there are VERY FEW females who truly experience sexual excitation from putting a person down. Even among the "real", non-financial dommes, many simply seek security in relationship that they do not have in vanilla; some consider themselves too unattractive to draw basic sexual interest, and, ironically, carry their own inferiority complex; some are secret subs altogether.

So it's healthy for a heterosexual male sub to understand that, most likely, he will never find what he seeks; society simply does not mass-produce this sought psychic organization. Most sadistic complexes are suppressed in childhood.

So we sort of need the findommes for the illusion and the site traffic.


(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 2:00:42 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009


quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub

Lol, me "complaining" has gotten me more responses from real people in a day then I've ever gotten on the other side.


But that's what we've been trying to explain to you. The other side is a waste of time. Don't you get that? Sure, a few people meet the Domme of their dreams over there. But there are 10,000 threads on this board from guys who complain about never getting responses on the other side. There are 5,000,000 threads complaining about findoms. So nothing that you've said is new.

That's why so many of us have told you to go to a munch. Real people won't ignore you or ask you for money like people on the internet do. It's amazing how face-to-face interaction improves people's etiquette.


I don't know. I'm pretty good at both, to be honest. Especially in real-life...
>
>
>
>
>
>(wait for it)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>(almost there...)
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>........ba-dum-tishh<

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 2:41:12 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		"Entitled" would not be my characterization of the OP. The # of malesubs with similar observations supports his viewpoint. To experience frustration and disappointment here is perfectly natural and such a reaction is a long way from feeling "entitled."

If you look at the responses, there is pretty much a consensus that "YES CM sucks for you and those in your position, you'll have to give other avenues a try."

It's speculative that those other avenues will prove more fertile. It's a steep uphill climb for guys, often a lonely experience with questionable rewards. It's important to stay balanced and to also seek fulfillment outside of BDSM.

My view is that if you can learn about other people and yourself along the way, your energy is better spent. Meeting a compatible partner for malesubs is a little like playing golf and trying to hit a hole in one. The whole project of Golf would collapse if you became too emotionally attached to that goal. So, you have to take pride and joy in other things: hitting fairways, avoiding hazards, making long putts, staying in shape, making friends, etc.



< Message edited by cloudboy -- 5/13/2013 2:44:47 PM >

(in reply to curious23)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 3:42:18 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		Not all Dommes get off on putting down their subs. Some do, some don't and I know I sure don't. There aren't any that I know of who get off on a sub that can't read and follow directions. There aren't any that I know of who get off on a sub - or anyone for that matter - with a sense of entitlement.

Whining and complaining, not being able to follow rules, a sense of entitlement.....they all would make me pass over a sub. Now I know that I'm not in your search parameters but, still, it's something to think about. If you want to be all those things aforementioned, go for it, but don't expect a lot of Dommes to put up with that shit without being paid in some fashion for doing so.

Call me Mean if you want to, I do have both Nice and Mean sides, but I still stand beside what I wrote here.

NBMG


_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to czarski)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 5:09:09 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Attention Whores attract Attention Whores

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to curious23)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 5:18:42 PM   
czarski


Posts: 24
Joined: 12/29/2012
Status: offline 		Interesting... And what would be an example of me "whining and complaining"? A suggestion to mark findom profiles as findom? Well... I think searching for intimacy (of any kind) and searching for income are two equally legitimate but fundamentally separate things.

And where did you see a "sense of entitlement" in my comments? I don't feel entitled to anyone's attention - on the contrary, I think the whole conventional image of the Dominant Woman is a kind of aborted fetus of the modern Western culture, akin Charlie's Angels or the sword-wagging Uma Thurman and leather-clad Milla Jovovich. Men created this image for their own needs and try to impose it upon women, then get frustrated it doesn't stick.

On the other hand, ... the inaccessibility of women creates a perfect opportunity to meet own one's gay side face to ... face. And there often is...some gay side.



< Message edited by czarski -- 5/13/2013 5:19:34 PM >

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 5:59:43 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

If you want a site free of those dreaded findommes that bother you so much, might I suggest getting off your ass and creating a site where everyone can be classified to YOUR specifications? Other than that, you are stuck with what you get. And if you mentioning not liking what you are getting...for free, mind you...you are technically...say it with me...whining and complaining.

Why the hell certain people can't just live and let live is beyond me

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 5/13/2013 6:00:16 PM >

(in reply to czarski)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 6:45:58 PM   
czarski


Posts: 24
Joined: 12/29/2012
Status: offline 		yea. Do you even understand that DISSATISFACTION is what gave us this relatively coherent, technological, sort of "democratic" society? With your attitude no improvement would be possible.


(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 6:51:48 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		That's just it. No one here except you thinks this site needs improvement.

We're all more than fine with the way it is.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to czarski)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 7:13:46 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'm just here for the Jesus Fried Chicken...

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 7:16:42 PM   
czarski


Posts: 24
Joined: 12/29/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

That's just it. No one here except you thinks this site needs improvement.

We're all more than fine with the way it is.



Cool, so why the spite? Maybe because the topic had been raised more than thrice, which is kind of an indication that I'm not the only one "whining". But you win, silent majority, no one will ever inconvenience your findommes.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 7:20:49 PM   
LoyalBlackSub


Posts: 15
Joined: 5/7/2013
Status: offline 		I'm not! Rock on Czarski. They don't want us to speak our minds but we are and we will. If they want to call it whining and complaining, who cares? They're whining and complaining about us whining and complaining so really, they're looking a lot more childish than we ever did. And that sense of self-entitlement they carry in their posts is just mind blowing. Not all of you, but some of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 7:55:02 PM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline 		Good submissives (with attractive qualities such as attention to detail, eagerness to please, and good manners) are usually recognized right away and snatched up. That leaves those of you with negative attitudes behind to quarrel and lay blame on others for your lack of ability to connect with a Domme.

Find out what qualities the SUCCESSFUL subs have that got them the coveted position (don't be afraid to contact an Owned sub and ASK him), and work on developing those qualities yourself so you will stand out from the rest.

SAYING you have desirable submissive qualities and then lashing out at us Dommes for discovering you DON'T is not the way to go about finding a Domme, yet I see so-called "submissive" males taking this approach time and time again. It gets old really quick, so it's no surprise the only ones allowing you contact are young Fin-Dommes patrolling for desperate stragglers.
--MM

< Message edited by MAINEiacMISTRESS -- 5/13/2013 7:59:34 PM >

(in reply to LoyalBlackSub)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 8:37:24 PM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
quote:

Even among the "real", non-financial dommes, many simply seek security in relationship that they do not have in vanilla; some consider themselves too unattractive to draw basic sexual interest, and, ironically, carry their own inferiority complex; some are secret subs altogether.


So...many Dommes are insecure hags, sexual pariahs hiding behind kink to get laid...

Oh chit, why did I ever join this Domme club anyway? Women like me need therapy! and some Hollywood style plastic surgery! and some WARDROBE!




(in reply to czarski)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 8:42:08 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub
They don't want us to speak our minds but we are and we will.

You misunderstand. You're welcome to say whatever you want. But if you don't show the ability to engage socially, I'll stop trying to talk to you. That's the price you pay. Perhaps you're ok with that, but, if you'll notice, there were two women who posted on this thread, both within a stone's throw of your own age, and neither one was impressed with you. Eventually, if you keep this up, fewer and fewer people will consider you a good investment.

Think about it. You're siding with a man who, by his own admission, is so unable to attract women that he did the gay so he wouldn't feel so lonely. Is that really the kind of example you would like to support and emulate?

The harsh reality, though, is that guys like the two of you are the reason 20-year-olds want to date guys like me. So I suppose I should shut up already, and stop trying to give you advice. But I have to tell you, the #1 way to attract women is to be emotionally attractive.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LoyalBlackSub)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 9:00:50 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub

I'm not! Rock on Czarski. They don't want us to speak our minds but we are and we will. If they want to call it whining and complaining, who cares? They're whining and complaining about us whining and complaining so really, they're looking a lot more childish than we ever did. And that sense of self-entitlement they carry in their posts is just mind blowing. Not all of you, but some of you should be ashamed of yourselves.


I thought you were leaving. Did you say that somewhere?

Look, not all us findommes are the same. Just block,or hide profiles. Simple right?
Then come on back over here, lurk for a few minutes, see how shit goes over here, join in, don't look like douches. I know you two can handle that. Things are different on this side. Perhaps browsing through some old posts might help you understand why we get sooooo tired of this same old thing.

Oh and RedMagic, you stated that perfectly!

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 5/13/2013 9:02:36 PM >

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to LoyalBlackSub)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 9:21:51 PM   
LoyalBlackSub


Posts: 15
Joined: 5/7/2013
Status: offline 		My dude isn't gay, he's a pimp. And you know what? Screw you ! You think you're so tough? I'm out. Peace out sluts.

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 9:24:47 PM   
czarski


Posts: 24
Joined: 12/29/2012
Status: offline 		So you are leaving, LoyalBlackSub. I perfectly understand why. Note one thing, though. Many decided to criticize your personality (of which they actually know nothing) rather than discuss your comment - your very moderate, very polite, very sincere, understandably frustrated, entirely legitimate comment. Every single word you said - was true. And I know what you mean when you say findommes don't care who you are (and don't read your profile sometimes) as long as monies change hands. Every single word - true, and yet they bashed your character rather than responded to your concern (some did respond, yes). Same with me - and some of them misrepresented my words. The thing is, bro, - they need this mentor position talking down on someone, so expect to hear how inadequate you are.

You look good enough and sound smart enough to get what you want. Best of luck.

(in reply to LoyalBlackSub)
Profile   Post #: 80
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