He wants my password

He wants my password (Full Version)

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WithATwwist -> He wants my password (5/12/2013 2:51:03 PM)
I met a dom in jan, so far so good. We are both on another kinky website, (FL) so he can see all my pics, comments, etc. He now wants my password. Why and should I give it to him? He says it's a dom thing.

Oneechan -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 3:02:13 PM)
You should probably clarify what you mean by "met" him. giving someone passwords or bank details is a lot of trust. it's pretty reasonable in a longterm live-in relationship, i'd say. But it sounds like that isn't quite the case. generally you should not give out any such details except on a need-to-know basis, AND only if you trust that person. "It's a dom thing" doesn't sound like a particularly pressing reason, and if you trusted him you probably wouldn't be asking for advice here x

angelikaJ -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 3:13:11 PM)
This is what the site says: "My new Master or Mistess has asked for my password, what should I do? Do not give your account password to anyone, least of all people you recently met on the site. We receive numerous support requests every day from users who gave their password to another user and who now find themselves locked out of their own account because the other person changed the password. Don't let this happen to you! Remember, our support staff is not authorized to give out passwords under any circumstances so, if you give your password to another user, be prepared to accept the consequences." http://www.collarme.com/personals/help.htm#14 I would not do it for someone I have only met. Being in a dynamic is perhaps another thing but it is not without some risk. [My] Master has my passwords. I am not sure at which point I offered them to Him, but He was Master at that point. So, it is not a universal "dom thing". There are no rules governing that. The relationship is what you decide on: your limits, boundaries and the rules you decide are right for you. So, are you comfortable handing over your passwords?

ARIES83 -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 3:20:21 PM)
Thats an interesting thing to want, maybe he has a profile password fetish... It's certainly not a "Dom thing" if I'm any indication... It sounds like a very internet problem to me... Have you met this person in reality?

lizi -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 3:21:32 PM)
Him saying it's a Dom thing is pretty non-descriptive. Ask him what Dom thing that is, and what does it sound/look like. Ask him why he wants the password, you have the right to know. I'm not sure I would do it myself, I guess it would depend on the length of time I knew him and the feeling I got about why he wanted it.

Rawni -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 3:24:39 PM)
All the domliest of doms want your password. It makes them big and powerful online. Tell him when he is sitting right in front of your computer and is man enough to do so, then you may open your account and give him a peek. Until then, he needs more time in dom school.

SexyBlackMan2 -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 3:29:51 PM)
You just met in January and he wants your passwords already??? Do you have the connection and commitment necessary for something like that yet? Although I am Dom and have had passwords, I think this is something that is serious and should be reserved for something a bit deeper than a "relationship" that isn't even 6 months old.

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 3:37:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WithATwwist I met a dom in jan, so far so good. We are both on another kinky website, (FL) so he can see all my pics, comments, etc. He now wants my password. Why and should I give it to him? He says it's a dom thing. Would you trust him yet with the keys to your house or apartment, car keys, and check book. [;)] I have my slave's passwords. I also have the keys to his house, to his truck, and my Amazon has direct access to his bank account (this was a one time convenience on my part, as I had cash on hand that I gave to him in exchange for taking the same amount out of his bank account). He has keys to my minivan and to my house...and when I was in the hospital for ten days (something like a year and a half ago), he had access to my debit card and used it to pay my bills on time, took care of my son, my house, my yard work, my cats, and took my mother grocery shopping. You will have to ask yourself if this relationship you have has reached this level yet. And by the way...I didn't demand anything from bo. I asked, and he had my permission to say "not yet" without my resenting it. Earning someone's trust takes time, and this site and others like it are full of profiles...that have ex-partners using their access to strike back and publicly humiliate the profile owner. It's your profile...and this is your judgment call to make. Best wishes to the both of you, btw. And one other thing, lol, my boy knows how I want him to deal with letters he gets from annoying people...but...sometimes it's fun if I go in there and do the bitch slapping myself. My slave is not good about taking dictation. [;)]

DesFIP -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 3:46:01 PM)
We live together and he still doesn't want them. No, it isn't a dom thing. It shows severe trust issues and insecurity. Plus when you break up, as people with severe trust issues will do, he'll lock you out of it and write terrible things on it. Do you really wanting him posting your contact info and saying you want a stranger to break in and rape you? Because this has happened.

DarkSteven -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 3:55:43 PM)
The actual effects would be: 1. He would be able to monitor all your conversations, and 2. He would have the power to mess up your account and relationships with your friends. Actually, I'm more concerned about his flip explanation "It's a Dom thing" than the request itself. He's treating your trust without any respect.

nightdomuk -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 4:06:06 PM)
The fact that you are on here asking suggests that it is something you are not comfortable with. I'd suggest a polite NO.

absolutchocolat -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 4:07:48 PM)
It's an insecurity thing.

dcnovice -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 4:22:32 PM)
[image]http://gvshp.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/nancy_just_say_no1.jpg[/image]

Quirt100 -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 4:27:37 PM)
In a pig's eye! He is not entitled to anything that you do not freely give. Feel free to quote me! Quirt100

WithATwwist -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 4:47:12 PM)
Thank you all very much for your responses. I just wanted to verify my own feelings, and not hand it over.. We have meet in person, it is apparent he has trust issues with women in the past. I have to either deal with that or walk away, time will tell. (I'm 54 and been around awhile and I know how the game is played) But one thing that didn't cross my mind and I thank you for mentioning it, if it were to end I would have no way to defend myself.. Horrible thought.. Again, thanks!!

Rawni -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 4:56:41 PM)
If you have been around a while.... and know the score... then you know that a dom really shouldn't risk a submissive for his own lack of emotional well being. Right?

FrostedFlake -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 5:15:15 PM)
No one else has ever wanted your password. And once he changes it...

MasterCaneman -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 5:22:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nightdomuk The fact that you are on here asking suggests that it is something you are not comfortable with. I'd suggest a polite NO. I'm seconding this one. Too many things can go wrong. If he can't handle "no" online, what's stopping later on? Consider it a hard limit if you must.

TwoHeartsBeatOne -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 5:39:28 PM)
I've read on here that some couples do exchange passwords and sometimes, that is only a one-sided act - the submissive opens up "all" to the Dom. I've read more bad things about it, than good. Congratulations on coming to your decision. ETA - An important aspect of this, IMHO, is that you state clearly in your profile whether your account is "shared," or not. Since joining the lifestyle, I've made it a point to ask if others are privy to what I write, or say, to the D/s participant, or if when I am writing &/or speaking to them, am I also writing &/or speaking, to others? (On the internet, I assume nothing is temporary or private.)

littlewonder -> RE: He wants my password (5/12/2013 5:44:33 PM)
Have you two ever met? If not, then imo, he's not your Dom and he's just another guy like anyone else online. I personally wouldn't to someone I only know from a few chats online. Master has all mine and more but we have been together in real life for over 7 years. I know his too. We both know each others so we can help each other out when we need the other to do something. No big deal.

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