quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

I like it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsEloquence

I like it.

I do have a quibble though.

The last sentence reads either as though you expect women to write you first (which isn't very likely), or as if you're desperate to hear from anyone at all. So cut that sentence.

If you mean that you'd love to make friends, try saying something like "I look forward to getting to know people of any and all orientations as friends"

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkcast

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsEloquence
I like it.

I do have a quibble though.

The last sentence reads either as though you expect women to write you first (which isn't very likely), or as if you're desperate to hear from anyone at all. So cut that sentence.

If you mean that you'd love to make friends, try saying something like "I look forward to getting to know people of any and all orientations as friends"

Fixed :-) Thanks

quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkcast

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsEloquence
I like it.

I do have a quibble though.

The last sentence reads either as though you expect women to write you first (which isn't very likely), or as if you're desperate to hear from anyone at all. So cut that sentence.

If you mean that you'd love to make friends, try saying something like "I look forward to getting to know people of any and all orientations as friends"

Fixed :-) Thanks

I like it. Now GO GET 'EM, tiger.

So many subs think that Doms are sitting on CM, doing nothing but checking profiles.

Use some search filters and see what comes up.

Since you read the faqs, you have an idea of how to approach.

Here's what I mean. You write: "I'm currently seeking a domme that's local to the SWFL area (from Marco Island to Port Charlotte) for a long terms d/s relationship."

OKAY, but are you really, really seeking -OR- as I suspect...... "I'm currently waiting for a domme that's local to the SWFL area (from Marco Island to Port Charlotte) to contact me for for a long terms d/s relationship."

Those that seek, shall find..... obvious Biblical reference - you can look up Chapter & Verse. LOL!

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Outstanding. You open by describing yourself casually. No weirdness, no fetishes.

That bit about you working retail while attending school and working on the side says you're focused, a hard worker, and willing to do what it takes. It also talks about references, which surprised me - I understand that now but at 24 years old, I sure didn't.

Your bit about your planned CS degree showed how you're planning ahead. Those two paragraphs made me think you're someone who has his life together ad knows where he's going. You'd be surprised how many people are lost souls with no direction or motivation.

What the hell - just you spelling and using grammar properly is in itself impressive here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkcast

Lol. Damn i've been watching this thread for criticism to make changes and now it's just becoming a massive ego boost lol. Thanks a bunch guys for checking it out and posting your comments. For anyone else coming into this topic keep them coming and let me know if you see something that should be changed [:)]

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkcast

Lol. Damn i've been watching this thread for criticism to make changes and now it's just becoming a massive ego boost lol. Thanks a bunch guys for checking it out and posting your comments. For anyone else coming into this topic keep them coming and let me know if you see something that should be changed [:)]

Ok, OP...I'll throw you a bone...

Your profile sucked big giant hairy monkey balls. I mean it. Ginormous gorilla balls of suck. You dug out the bottom floor of suck and put in a sub basement of suckdom. You should be highly ashamed of this and atone for your transgressions before its too late [:D]

Dude, seriously...you figured out how to lead with your brain and your personality, not your penis. Way too many bonus points scored to be able to critique. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, homie [:)]. You did well.