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Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 2:37:32 AM

Posts: 82
Joined: 8/26/2011
From: the UK
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This is probably a question there is no right or wrong answer to. So for that very reason, let's say this is curiosity value or just for fun.

You ladies must receive hundreds of Cmails every day from us guys seeking to gain your attention and engage you in dialogue.

My question is this. by use of a word count estimate, what is the ideal length of tha first message? (Let's leave content out of this, that is a whole other topic all on it's own right there!)

How short is too short> and how long is "OMG! I am BOOOOOORED" by the time you're half way through 500 words? 1,000 words?

~As we know too little comes across as lazy, too long as boring. What in your opinion is the "sweet spot"?

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if you would learn how to live, do not ask the question; its answer is not in the question but in the answer, which is not in words; do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so.

RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 3:11:27 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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Personally, 3-7 sentences is enough. In that you should say what caught your eye about the profile, share something you think you might have in common, and ask a question to hopefully draw them into conversation. I know that's not a word count, but I suppose it depends how concise you are.

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RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 5:15:31 AM

lizi

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I'd probably say 3-4 sentences. One sentence can be enough for me if it's something funny or an interesting question, more than 4 sentences might be fine if you're explaining something. Overall, I think you are just introducing yourself, and more can come later.

(in reply to Aedonix)

RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 5:30:48 AM

Posts: 9381
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From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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My profile is so detailed that IF I decide to send a lady a message, it will be nothing more than:

"I really liked your profile and I think we have quite a few things in common. Please take a look at my profile and see if you agree?"

Peace and comfort,

Michael

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RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 6:34:15 AM

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From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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I get a *lot* of message, most of which are obviously canned, or simple one liners or one sentence. You know, something original like 'hi, how are you today?'

I just don't respond to those messages. Even the nice hi message gives me NOTHING to reply to, aside from another hi, which can get lame very quickly.

I wouldn't write a tome. On the other hand, you want to be witty, original, and not presume too much. If you can talk about what in the profile caught your eye, good. Most importantly, give the person something to respond to. In other words, don't initiate contact, and then expect that person to carry the conversational ball.

Also, don't be pushy and ask too many questions. You don't want the person to have to think too hard about the reply. They might not have time right then, and if they put it off, now you could get lost in all the other email.

Being witty and original (almost always) gets a reply from me.

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RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 6:40:51 AM

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Thanks for the reply. but we arent so concerned with the content more than the length.

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RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 6:42:13 AM

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I would agree with both Athena and Chattie but have a small disagreement with Michael. When I was looking if a guy said look at my profile I never did if it was the first message...call it my stubborn side. I rather they tell me just a little about themselves and if they peaked my interest then I would go check them out. Just my two cents worth.

misty

PS... I do not think anyone will say 100 letters or 1000 letter as its not an essay....but more what we feel would justifie a good e-mail for each of us. I personaly have never counted how many letters make a good e-mail .... I'm thinking no one else here has either.

< Message edited by Rasciallymisty -- 5/31/2013 6:46:37 AM >

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RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 6:59:15 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aedonix

Thanks for the reply. but we arent so concerned with the content more than the length.

I think good content is far more important than length, as long as it's not too long or too short.

BTW: Welcome to the discussion side of CM.

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RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 7:00:34 AM

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I've been here a while. I just don't post too often. seems the threads that interest me have usualy broken down by the time I get to them lol

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if you would learn how to live, do not ask the question; its answer is not in the question but in the answer, which is not in words; do not ask how to live, but, instead, proceed to do so.

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RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 7:05:20 AM

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I'm glad you made one of your own. We needs some good thread starters here.

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RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 7:09:38 AM

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I'm not sure off the top of my head how much text 500 words is - it's been a while since I wrote an essay, haha. I feel like that's maybe a full page double-spaced in Word? If so, that's much too long.

I agree with the advice of 3-7 sentences. One sentence, e.g. "Hi, you're cute!" isn't enough (I got a lot like that when I was more active on the "other side") and will get ignored. It should be long enough to make it personalized and interesting. But more than a couple paragraphs is just too much for an introduction. You wouldn't give a huge speech the first time you met someone in real life, right?

(in reply to Aedonix)

RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 7:19:13 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

My profile is so detailed that IF I decide to send a lady a message, it will be nothing more than:

"I really liked your profile and I think we have quite a few things in common. Please take a look at my profile and see if you agree?"

Peace and comfort,

Michael

See now just to be awkward, I wouldn't respond to this. Firstly, because it's generic enough that it could be a copy-paste (I've had a couple of emails like this in the past week, very similar wording, and they obviously haven't read my profile since it says not looking). Secondly because it puts the burden on me to start the conversation. It sort of says 'I'd like to talk to you' but doesn't lead into anything or suggest a topic. For me personally it needs a hook - even something as simple as 'I see you're on board a yatch in your profile picture. Do you do much sailing? I got to try it for the first time on holiday in France last year and really enjoyed it'. Now a topic has been offered rather than putting the onus on me to think of one.

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RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 7:39:51 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

My profile is so detailed that IF I decide to send a lady a message, it will be nothing more than:

"I really liked your profile and I think we have quite a few things in common. Please take a look at my profile and see if you agree?"

Peace and comfort,

Michael

See now just to be awkward, I wouldn't respond to this. Firstly, because it's generic enough that it could be a copy-paste (I've had a couple of emails like this in the past week, very similar wording, and they obviously haven't read my profile since it says not looking). Secondly because it puts the burden on me to start the conversation. It sort of says 'I'd like to talk to you' but doesn't lead into anything or suggest a topic. For me personally it needs a hook - even something as simple as 'I see you're on board a yatch in your profile picture. Do you do much sailing? I got to try it for the first time on holiday in France last year and really enjoyed it'. Now a topic has been offered rather than putting the onus on me to think of one.

If someone reads my profile (yes, the onus is on them for that) and can't think of a topic, to discuss (especially since if I sent that message, I noticed some similarities) then Oy gevalt!

Peace and comfort,

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 7:43:19 AM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

My profile is so detailed that IF I decide to send a lady a message, it will be nothing more than:

"I really liked your profile and I think we have quite a few things in common. Please take a look at my profile and see if you agree?"

Peace and comfort,

Michael

That would have ended up in the trash. It says, to me, "I'm too lazy to strike up a conversation, even if I find you interesting."

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RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 8:14:09 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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Joined: 3/15/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

If someone reads my profile (yes, the onus is on them for that) and can't think of a topic, to discuss (especially since if I sent that message, I noticed some similarities) then Oy gevalt!

Peace and comfort,

Michael

It's not that I doubt my ability to think of something to talk about, it's just that I feel the onus is on the person who starts the conversation to, you know, start the conversation. Otherwise it feels like they're saying 'You do the work and impress me'. Also, if you've already read someone's profile and think you've got lots in common, how much harder is it to mention one of those things and start the ball rolling?

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

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RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 8:36:18 AM

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I gotta agree with the ladies who pass on the messages that want me to view their profile, it seems to pass on the effort to me and I wasn't the one sending out the email.
As for length, a paragraph or even two is good if it catches my eye.

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 5/31/2013 8:37:49 AM >

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RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 10:16:41 AM

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If it's the length of a small novel, I tend only to read the first couple of paragraphs. If they don't grab me, I bin the message and don't reply. If they look like badly written porn or (heaven help us) a poem, then I don't even read past the first sentence.

Most of the messages I responded to tended to be between about 2 and 5 sentences - if it's one line, it has to be a great line to grab me.

In fact, the first one from Master was only one sentence, but it was so funny I had to respond

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RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 1:10:03 PM

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Depending upon content, I would say 3-5 sentences also. Nothing generic, something to show me that he read my profile, and something to spark conversation.
Anything too long, reciting about you, would seem too recited.

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RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 2:05:50 PM

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When i was looking i did not want to read a book just a paragraph or so telling me about youself and wnat inn my profile attracted yu interes ( letting me know you actually read it) I do likw something that is well written, but, some people get bored it there is too much to read.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Introductory messages. how long? - 5/31/2013 2:21:09 PM

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I tend to write 2 or 3 short paragraphs (2 to 4 sentences each), and then a question about something in their profile, and I seem to end up with a decent response rate.

If the opportunity presents itself, I'll start off with some sort of joke about something in their profile, then respond to something they say (if they've asked a question, that's a perfect opportunity), and then ask them a question. Something simple and not related to BDSM.

With all due respect to DaddySatyr, I'm with the ladies on this one. I can't imagine a quality woman would actually look at your profile, much less respond, no matter how detailed your profile is. I always recommend starting a conversation about something, instead of letting them do it. The "think of it like meeting a person in the bar" analogy is used a lot here...and in this context, would you walk up to a woman in a bar and ask her "So what do you think of me?"

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