MasterCaneman
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jlf1961
Why is it called a TV set when there's only one? Because the first televisions were setup like an experiment and the name stuck.
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? In Fahrenheit, temperature is measured in 32 degree variants. Twice as cold means it'll be -32 degrees.
Can a guy named Nick have a 'nick 'name? Yes.
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? Depends on the jurisdiction and the terms of their contract and deed.
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them? Yes, because it was involved in a motor vehicle accident with injury. They simply dispatch another bus to the original call.
Do vampires get AIDS? No, because vampires are fictitious creatures.
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning? Because they're smug assholes.
If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like? Based on the tales of cannibalism from Papua, New Guinea, humans taste most like domesticated pigs-ironically enough, these animals are often used as testing analogues. Thus, your tongue would taste like pork. With salty side from your own blood.
Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes? White with black stripes.
Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? Aesthetics and marketing mainly. Even if a consumer knows their vehicle won't go that fast, they like to think it can. Also, many manufacturers use what are called 'common-core' parts for different vehicles in their lineup. It's easier and cheaper to use the same instrument cluster for many cars instead of different ones for each. Also, asthetically, it's more balanced and pleasing to the eye to see the numbers arrayed like that.
If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner instead of chasing Road-Runner? Because if he did that, we wouldn't have all those cool cartoons to watch.
How can you hear yourself think? Individual dosages may vary, but personal experience tells me that anywhere from one to three hits of LSD or a gram of 'shrooms allow you to perceive the neural hiss and crackle inside your skull.
If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see? Of course. You have x-ray vision, duh.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Love may be blind, but it isn't deaf, dumb, or stupid.
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Absolutely nothing, as it doesn't have a brain, nervous system, lungs, trachea, tongue, lips, and teeth. It's an inanimate object.
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one? Because it's a holdover from when the Normans ruled England, and used the word l'leve for eleven, which later became Anglicized.
If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? Witnesses.
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it? It means they didn't get diarrhea in the first place.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? Because we're a separate branch descended from a common ancestor.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? Of course not. They're professionals. So much so, in fact, they wouldn't permit the first one to drown.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? You have succeeded in your goal of achieving failure.
What's a question with no answer called? Abstract Philosophy
Why is a square meal served on round plates? Originally, meals were served on square boards or tranchers, being easier to make and store than round ones.
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour? Believe it or not, most babies do manage to get a lot of sleep, usually ten to twelve hours sometimes. Only when they're ill, hungry, or soiled will they waken more often.
If Mars had earthquakes would they be called Marsquakes? That is what they're called now, although since one of the common named for dirt is 'earth', by extension, they'd just as correctly be called that on other planets.
Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters? Charlie would be an informal name, more easily and casually spoken.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? One would have to be known on a regional or national level, be involved with government or religious entities, and be considered a public figure.
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Sure, why not?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? Oh, if only we could. But it's actually bad for business in tourist destinations, with domino-like repercussions throughout the regional economy.
Can you cry under water? Your lacrimal glands work constantly, and actually work more when exposed to water to ensure the proper balance of lubricants are present. Yes, you can cry under water.
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Yes. Other than accommodations for their handicap, the legal system doesn't like changing the terminology for proceedings.
Why isnt a bra referred to as a pair, like pants? Because it was designed from the outset to be a single article of clothing, whereas pants were originally little more than long sleeved held in place by garter-like straps.
There. I answered them all. What do I win?
_____________________________
Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.
The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu
Goddess Wrangler
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Bet you cant answer these questions! - 
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