RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (Full Version)

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jlf1961 -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 5:18:58 AM)

After doing some intel work, which required using the John Belushi technique of covert entry to an installation (see Animal House) and with careful examination of the evidence (okay I was actually surfing the web while drinking Black Velvet) I have come to the following conclusions about windows 8.

1) The chief software designer was a programing specialist who actually works for MOM corp. (see futurama) who was sent back in time to begin the process of creating the foundation for the MOM corp monopoly.

2) It is not an operating system as much as it is an attempt to drive the users to the point of frustration bordering on insanity to force them to change platforms, i.e from laptops and pc's to tablets.

3) The next step is a voice activated operating system that treats everyone like they have a thick russian/irish/german/greek accent and refuses to respond to anyone that is not speaking through a speech synthesizer which will require the use of a keyboard.

Okay I was slightly (alright completely drunk off my ass) when I came up with this theory, but researching windows 8 while sober was giving me a migraine and causing hallucinations.

I also have it on good authority that Microsoft has been infiltrated by artificial life forms that are surrogates for domestic cats (see avatar) which are part of a conspiracy to drain off the energy from the earth's core (see futurama again) and transmit it over interstellar distances to their homeworld.

When you think about what I have just laid out, it makes perfect sense, which is what scares the shit out of me.



Missdressed -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 5:51:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

After doing some intel work, which required using the John Belushi technique of covert entry to an installation (see Animal House) and with careful examination of the evidence (okay I was actually surfing the web while drinking Black Velvet) I have come to the following conclusions about windows 8.

1) The chief software designer was a programing specialist who actually works for MOM corp. (see futurama) who was sent back in time to begin the process of creating the foundation for the MOM corp monopoly.

2) It is not an operating system as much as it is an attempt to drive the users to the point of frustration bordering on insanity to force them to change platforms, i.e from laptops and pc's to tablets.

3) The next step is a voice activated operating system that treats everyone like they have a thick russian/irish/german/greek accent and refuses to respond to anyone that is not speaking through a speech synthesizer which will require the use of a keyboard.

Okay I was slightly (alright completely drunk off my ass) when I came up with this theory, but researching windows 8 while sober was giving me a migraine and causing hallucinations.

I also have it on good authority that Microsoft has been infiltrated by artificial life forms that are surrogates for domestic cats (see avatar) which are part of a conspiracy to drain off the energy from the earth's core (see futurama again) and transmit it over interstellar distances to their homeworld.

When you think about what I have just laid out, it makes perfect sense, which is what scares the shit out of me.



You know what?? I think you're right.

However, I am about to explode with pure joy. I had an interview this morning. For a Masters in Software Development for non-computing graduates. No salary, boo hoo, but uni fees paid. And guess what

I GOT AN OFFER I GOT AN OFFER I GOT AN OFFER

I am so chuffed to bits you have no idea [:D][:D][:D][:D]



jlf1961 -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 6:09:49 AM)

Congrats Missdressed. I wish you well on your new endeavor.



Missdressed -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 6:12:27 AM)

Thank you so much - I am dancing about my living room like a loon. Chuffed to bits doesn't even cover it



crazyml -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 6:17:12 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Missdressed

Or is Windows 8 completely and utterly keek, crap, shite, pants, rubbish?



That's about it

quote:



I am ready to buck a lot of laptop right out the fucking window.


Do it... go on! Free yourself.

Then pop into the apple store.

The price will feel a little like unlubed (and vigorous) anal sex but after a month you will be wondering why the fuck you didn't cross over years ago.

I'm still pretty sure that you have to come out as Gay or Lesbian when you buy a Mac, but they may have relaxed that requirement - I suggest you ask in the store.



jlf1961 -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 6:23:32 AM)

My computer experience began with a Heathkit that I built.

My second was a Mac, which I thought was okay, I just could not tinker with it, so I went back to the pc.

I agree that PC's have their quirks, and windows is often more of a pain than an actual advantage, but considering that I can basically build the computer I want for specific purposes, I will stick with the PC.

Besides Macs are actually being built and designed by humans under the control of the evil alien overlords, house cats, and being part of the resistance, I have to keep sticking to the PC.



Missdressed -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 6:31:58 AM)

I have an iPad. It hates me.



jlf1961 -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 6:33:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Missdressed

I have an iPad. It hates me.



Let me guess, you have a pet dog?



Missdressed -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 6:35:17 AM)

[8D] I have one of those as well and two ponies, 7 chickens, two rabbits and a spotty pig (and no, that's not the ex huband)



jlf1961 -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 6:39:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Missdressed

[8D] I have one of those as well and two ponies, 7 chickens, two rabbits and a spotty pig (and no, that's not the ex huband)



Ipads are built by apple, which is run by artificial biological life forms that are surrogates for house cats who operate them, again, the truth was shown by one of the resistance fighters in his movie Avatar. That is why your Ipad hates you.



Lucylastic -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 6:44:25 AM)

LMAO at spotty pig not being the ex..... oh and congratulations on the offered position MissDressed
For what its worth, I am staying with windows 7... 8 turned me off with it crappiness, and macs wont fulfill my requirements for work, and I wouldnt touch an ipod or Ipad if you paid even tho my nephew works for apple(hes not gay either Jeff[;)])
I do love my tablet and android tho, its my dream toy.



Missdressed -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 6:47:34 AM)

oh I call him many things, most much worse than spotty pig. That's an insult. To Gloucester Old Spots [:D]



Lucylastic -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 6:53:31 AM)

LOL welcome to the boards:)



Missdressed -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 7:12:23 AM)

Thank you!



Darkfeather -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 8:40:28 AM)

Windows 8 was microsoft's first move into the "total" media experience. Eventually they want to integrate all things into one, tv, movies, music, household appliances, etc. Their next step is the Xbox One, which is receiving heavy criticism.



jlf1961 -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 8:48:27 AM)

I refer to my ex's without using swear words, there was in order of marriages, the adulteress, the fundamentalist Mormon cultist, the mommas girl (actually grandmothers girl) and the adulteress MKII.

Funny thing, with my first wife, none of my dogs or horses liked her, with my second wife, after she joined the mormon church she became a fundy nutcase and since the Mormon Church is not considered a cult, I could not get a deprogramer. Finally my last wife, again my dog did not like her, was young, pretty, and seemed generally interested in me (should have known it was to good to be true) cheated on me immediately after we got married, cleaned 10 grand out of my account (I was stupid and put her on it, so according to police no crime was committed) and took off with the guy she was sleeping with and within two weeks got him to sign his car to her, and cleaned out his checking account and vanished.

Now getting back on topic, windows 8 seems to be biased toward touch screen platforms, a friend bought a pc with win 8, and solved his problem with the purchase of a touch screen monitor.



SatinWhip -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 9:07:37 AM)

Like many people I have been a long time Windows user. Luckily I never needed to purchase a new pc or laptop when glitches like Vista were available. I still have a secondary desktop that runs Win98SE (which is also the last pc I built from parts). I only use that these days as a keyboard (musical) emulator. My main desktop and my laptop both run Windows 7. I had XP before that. I really don't know why people rag on Windows 7. I don't recall much if any learning curve when I switched from XP to 7 and it seems to be stable and runs fine.

I bought my daughter a Macbook a few years ago (hence the reason I own the hand me down Windows laptop. Parents will understand how that works.). She loves it. Deliriously. I have to admit that it's pretty slick. That one piece aluminum case is trés cool. One thing that puts me off about buying a Mac for myself was the long queue of folks at the Apple store waiting to have their sick Macbooks looked at. One guy I talked to drove 50 miles to the Apple Store where we were because the one nearest to him didn't have an open appointment for a week and a half and his daughter needed her computer for school. They are typically lined up out the door on weekends. Thankfully, the university my daughter attends has their own in house version of "Geek Squad" that support the students pc issues for free.




LookieNoNookie -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 5:53:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Missdressed

Or is Windows 8 completely and utterly keek, crap, shite, pants, rubbish?

I am ready to buck a lot of laptop right out the fucking window.


Windows 8 is awesome and....not at all shite, or rubbish.

I love it...just bought 6 of 'em.

Can't wait for the server version.



dcnovice -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/3/2013 5:59:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

Ya know, I have looked and looked online for a Luddite group to join but I have had no luck. [>:]

I'm not sure you can actually join, but you might find some interesting reading:

http://LudditeOnline.com/



Exidor -> RE: Is this me being a complete Luddite? (6/6/2013 9:45:18 AM)

Still running Linux (openSUSE 12.3) + KDE here.

The only times I touch "Windows" are at client sites, where I bill them appropriately for putting up with its bizarre weirdness.



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