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Rawni -> RE: Dom is different (6/12/2013 10:56:19 AM)
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ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
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ORIGINAL: Rawni
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ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
Good God its deja vu
We don't know her story and it certainly looks like SOME people trying to provoke her with judgment.
I think a lot of BDSM acts are wacked, what about the guy who had his wife in chains around his kids, they were married. Gess that's not crazy at all. OR people who cut each other, or beat each other, and have kids? Why do these things seem more okay?
ITs all honest, then its all okay? These threads never have a good ending. I think it seems mob like too, and some comments are just meant to be insulting and belittling. This happens each and every time someone is having an affair is mentioned. DO I advocate cheating, no, I don't. I have did it.
Poster, my advice is this, I wouldn't pursue this thread any longer, it will just become a show down. All the answers you need will come in their own due time. Best of luck in your decisions.
As I recall, you took a pretty glib attitude with your own children. Didn't hubby have issue with what you were doing? Couldn't that have turned upside down and wouldn't that have involved your children? You act as if these things we do are done around our children. Some may be... but many of us would take a stand against that as well. Divorce, marital problems, all affect children and cheaters can do great harm to their children.
Do not compare consenting adults agreeing to do things, children unaware with people that could hurt their children by way of marital discord or divorce once a spouse finds out they have been betrayed.
You can try to twist it... but it won't work.
The only twisting I see, is the mention I took a glib attitude toward my children. This is the story you twisted in your own head, because surely if I cheated, I couldn't possibly be a good mother. Reminds me of the crowd in the scarlet letter, casting judgment and making a person bad in all ways, noting others imperfections and sins, and steering away from looking at ones self. Surely, you could not be wrong, its not possible.
Bringing the posters profile into her question was for what reason? I am sure the response will be "So others will know what kind of person they are dealing with?" That was the excuse used by a select few, when anytime I would post for months on unrelated subjects, my thread would be brought up as a link, to make sure anyone I spoke to on here, saw what a vile human I was?
My situation changed and evolved, and it was thru kindness, patience, gentleness humbling, empathy, and spiritual growth, not by hardness, pushy, demeaning, belittling, taunting, input.
If this poster is developing an attitude, and begins acting "bat shit crazy" and does a bit of taunting herself. She has good reason.
She didn't ask for my advice, because I am not a Dom. so if she asked me to back off I would. I want to let her know, I am a woman who comes here, and I am not casting judgment on her. I see where she feels attacked.
I commend Focus for taking a role in seeing it and not being a bystander, being a man about it, even when he takes a hit for it.
The scarlet letter... ahh yes. For adultery. Was that what happened with you? Sorry honey, but it wasn't just a cheating thing with you, nor is it with the OP here. You cannot take a large picture and make it amount to one thing when there are many factors. First of all, adultery is something many come back from, but not before they admit how damaging it was to the people around them. You lied, you blamed your dom for being many things, using you, etc. and then came back and said he was the best ever and you were a true slave and anyone that did it differently than you did, was false. It wasn't adultery that got your cyber ass kicking started. Your husband found out... according to you and was not happy. The bottom line here is that your children could have been hurt by that marital disruption. I didn't say you were a bad parent, I said that cheating parents risk doing harm to innocent people.
People responded to your lying just as much as they did your cheating. They responded to all the story changes and the different positions you took, not just that you had a domly guy using you and then the victimization you went into. He was the bad guy, then the good guy and then he and your hubby and then and then and then.
So you can blame everyone else for what 'happened' to you when you brought it on yourself. Some were rather harsh with you and I can't speak for them and their reasons, but for me... your flip flopping cannot be compared to the OP of this thread. Two different stories and situations. You compared some of what we do in a manner in which I felt a response was warranted because you cannot compare consenting adults doing what they want to people risking the well being of their children when a cheating spouse is caught.
Are you saying that the children don't matter enough to consider and that it is okay to just glibly walk on without consideration and it is comparable to honest kinky actions between two willing adults? Had your husband not continued with you when he found out about your cheating and public display of your life and therefore his, your children would have been affected in some manner. Innocent bystanders caught up in what the adults in their lives did. No scarlet letter for you or anyone else... just a hey... wake up... what you do does matter and it could matter to those innocents in your life. If that makes me a bad person to point that out because I have worked with children in a place where adults harmed their lives and know the effect... then I will take that nasty little badge.
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